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Lost in my soul

Updated on February 4, 2015

Unselfish acts.

If I came across a lonely voice
I'd have to help,I'd have no choice
If I saw a depressed soul,lost at sea
I'd have to befriend him,that's just me.
You meet sad people, full of indignation
You gauge a response,capture information
Then maybe you feel safe and ready to assist
So they don't harm themselves,an opportunity missed.
If I can help one person in the course of my life
If I can instil some happiness, where once there was strife.
In their eyes you see pain and torment
Cuts on the arms,you realise it was meant.
Don't want to say wrong things,or make things worse
Damage them more,and maybe add to their curse
Befriend them,talk to them,make them feel at ease
Kindness costs nothing,it's easy to please.
One step forward, try not to go back
Ive seen this before,mentally they can crack.
Friendship,kindness,and show your heart
The difference can be immense,great place to start.
Might put them on the road to a better place
Helping people is good,you'll earn some grace.
I have suffered the same,it's a lonely time
Your lost and alone,feel my life isn't mine
Everyday is hell,there seems to be no end
Mind in a torrent,your actions you defend.
Up on sheer highs,then a terrible low
You never know,when the feeling will grow.
You yearn for an end,you hope for a fresh start
You try to keep it together,emotions apart.
Bad thoughts cross your mind,you fight to get them out
You can't go down this road,scream louder and shout
Leave behind family,you cause a gaping hole
Whatever you tried,what was your goal.
Leave people traumatised,damaged and upset
If the actions succeed,this is all you would get.
I can see the future,when you depart from your soul
Infinite loss, down a bottomless hole.
There's got to be a way,there must be a solution
Instead of your mind being in an endless revolution.
Wanting to sleep,to get away from your mind
Peace and tranquility,you'll eventually find.

First Meeting.

when I came across this person,it was quite by chance.a random meeting in a deserted cafe at a station.i sensed the person needed to confide in someone,even me a stranger.i could see the pain in his eyes,I felt I could see right through him.we began to chat about pointless things to begin with,then when he felt more comfortable with me,he confided in me the reason for his pain.he had lost a family member in tragic conditions,he described how his friend had jumped in front of an express train,his friend had given no indication of his inner torment,if anything he gave off a persona of a happy go lucky attitude.there were no tears,no warnings,one day he was there,the next he wasn't.i tried my best to comfort him,I tried to advise him on how to try get over his trauma,i even at one point thought back to my own horrors in life,to try to conpare and help him in some way.i think after speaking to him late in to the night,I may have helped in some small way.even if it was lending my ear and a shoulder to cry on for a couple of hours.i had been through a few bad days in my time,so I felt I could relate in some respects.he ran to make the last train home,ive not seen him since that day.

Help someone lost.

Chance Meeting.

chance meeting

not met before

hope to assist

its never a chore

try to put them

on a more positive path

not leave them to their own devices

at the mercy of minds wrath.

pull them up,when they've fallen down

make a smile,where once was a frown.

It's in the Eyes.

More than my fair share.

throughout my life,I think I've had more than my fair share of tragedies and traumas.where some people have none,I seem to get a lot of people passing away.ive lost close friends very young dying in my past,close uncles,nephews,brothers and my some points in my life,I began to think,will there ever be a stage in my life I will go a few years without losing someone I care about.luckilly for me,ive had a few years of reprieve to date now.its been really enjoyable,getting on with life without worrying what will happen,or what could happen.its nice to give my mental state a few years definitely needed it.long may it continue.

Time in Motion.



confide,confess,admit,tell all

hide,give up,emotions to fall.

clear conscience,relieve the guilt

only then are foundations built.

build bridges,forgive,forget

feel much better,no regret.

emotional recovery,feeling inside

better for meetings,a chance to confide.

unlock the vault of emotional hell

you'll never know,unless you tell.

Then the process of getting mentally fit

times a healer,show your true grit.

Generation Lost.

when I look back in my early life,I had so,e real characters in my Mums immediate person that comes to mind,was my great Uncle John Paul.He was an irregular visitor,he showed up at family functions.he was the Uncle we all loved.He always arrived with at least twenty pounds worth of sweets to have a free for all with all the kids present.we would all jostle for pole position in the line of fire for the sweets toss.once he launched the sweets in the air,chaos ensued.there was an almighty battle to see how many sweets we could grab ,and fit in to our trousers or shorts at that time.They were great days, he was a quiet man,but very nice and down to earth.when he passed away,we lost a genuinely nice man who frequented our lives,i still think of him often with a smile.i only regret not going to his funeral to see him off properly,but I was a young boy at the time,maybe nine or ten,my Mum had my best interests at heart for sure.

Grampa so skilled.

A long time ago my grandad Marshall passed away.i remember him fondly.when we visited,he didn't talk excessivey.instead of chattering with my Mum and his wife,he sat quietly with small pieces of wood.i wondered what he was using them for on my first visit that I remember.he would sit with a small piece of wood for each of my kin,and sit and hand carve out animals on the pieces of wood.he was quite brilliant,very talented.we may have visited for around one hour,in that time he would have carved out a small animal of some description before we left for home,for each one of the kids present.i remember having quite a collection of wooden animals at one point.i don't know where they ended up,but they gave me and my brother a lot of pleasure from what I remember.there were some good memories from my childhood.the good memories are too few and far between as we say in Scotland.

Look lost inside.

Good intentions.

over the years I've tried to help when I could.occassionally,good intentions can backfire on you spectacularily.i misread a situation a long time ago now,I offered was made as welcome as a dose of the flu.i made a simple error of judgement,and upset a friend very deeply.ive since made up with this person,and we are closer than before putting my big size 10s in it,I look at the situation from a different angle.the few extra seconds I take reading the dilemma,can mean the difference between success and failure to help.i don't try to put my foot in it deliberately ,just sometines its unavoidable.


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