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Dumb Laws In the USA
I was reading daveearly's article, 200 More Odd Facts For You, and I started to wonder what other useless laws still were in existence in the USA. I did some research and I found out that there are too many funny laws to list in one article! I had to limit myself to just a few topics. Here are some of the laws I found.
This party was NOT held in Massachusetts!
Hard Halloween Laws
Some states make it hard on kids during Halloween by banning masks. What would Halloween be without masks?! What fun is it to dress up in a Halloween costume and still look like yourself?
In Alabama wearing masks in public is illegal. In Walnut, CA, the kiddies need a special permit from the sheriff to wear a mask. Spiderman masks could be dangerous in Arizona, what if your children accidentally jay walked in their excitement. According to Arizona law, wearing a red mask turns a misdemeanor into a felony.
Do you think you are allowed to dress up as witches or pilgrims in Massachusetts? The reason I ask is because witches and quakers are banned from Massachusetts.
If you want to go as a cowboy in Rhode Island, you better get a water gun, cap guns are illegal! I know, it's not the same...who ever heard of a cowboy pulling out his gun, aiming and firing a loud SPLASH. It's just not right.
In Delaware children under the age of 14 can trick or treat between 6pm and 8pm, unless Halloween is on a Sunday. If Halloween falls on a Sunday they must trick or treat on Saturday the 30th during the given time frame. If I read this law correctly, children above the age of 14 are not allowed on the streets for Halloween. Delaware really knows how to spell things out!
The worst state for trick or treating is Virginia, hand down! Trick or treating on Halloween is not allowed in Virginia. I wonder if they went another day?...
Free Willy-A Great Movie
Foolish Fishing Laws
Do you like whales? Remember the movie, "Free Willy"? That whale was wonderful! The whale in Pinocchio was not so nice, I was glad when they built the fire inside it. Well, whether you like whales or hate them, here are some whale fishing laws to remember.
You may not go whale fishing in Nebraska, Utah or Oklahoma. In Ohio, you must refrain from whale fishing on Sundays. Why shouldn't whales get a day of rest also, right? Whales are not so safe in Tennessee. In Tennessee the only game you can shoot from a moving automobile is a whale.
Now before you sigh a breath of relief for the whales...or get upset about how cruel Tennessee is, take into consideration that none of these states border an ocean! Do you think whales are living in the Great Salt Lake in Utah? I didn't realize whales lived in the Lake Erie bordering Ohio.
Other than Ohio, each of these states are land-locked! Why are they writing laws about whale fishing?! And why do they call it whale "fishing" and not just "whaling"? Those lawmakers had way too much time on their hands.
Numerous devices are illegal to use for fishing. Consider the hands, you may not catch fish with your hands in either Kansas or Pennsylvania. In fact, in Pennsylvania you may not catch a fish with any body part other than your mouth. They have a favorite party game called dunking for fish! (or maybe that was apples?)
Make sure you don't use dynamite to go fishing in Pennsylvania, a lasso if you are in Tennessee, or a firearm in Wyoming. These are all forbidden fishing techniques.
Nebraska, Utah, Tennessee and Oklahoma are all land-locked!
Breaking the Law
Asinine Animal Laws
Let's start with domesticated animals, such as cats and dogs. The dogs in Arkansas must be very well trained. They are not allowed to bark after 6pm. The citizens of Oklahoma and Illinois respect their dogs and demand you do the same. That is why it is illegal in these states to make faces at dogs.
Did you know that dogs can read in Denver, Colorado? They must be able to because the dog catchers have to post notice of their intent to impound a dog. The notice must be posted for three consecutive days on a tree in the city park or along a public road. Silly people, don't they know the dog can leave town after reading the notice?
I now know that the Omen was not filmed in Wisconsin. Dogs may not enter a cemetery in Wisconsin. For that matter, neither can cats. I guess they wanted to keep it fair.
What state do cats hate to live in most? The state of New Jersey, of course! There is a town in New Jersey that requires all cats to wear three bells to warn the birds of their whereabouts. Poor, poor puddy tat!
Birds have many rights in these United State of America! Utah so loved it's birds that they gave birds the right of way on all highways. I can see the signs, "Yield--Bird Crossing". Do not spit on a sea gull! Wait, spit on a sea gull...why would anyone want to? Seems it was a problem in Virginia, it is now banned.
Virginians love all animals and birds, except raccoons. Dirty raccoons, running around dumping garbage cans! In Virginia all animals and birds share Sunday with humans as the day of rest...except raccoons, no rest for these critters! You may not hunt or kill any animal or bird in Virginia on Sunday, except for raccoons which may be hunted until 2am. Wait, isn't it already Monday at 2am?
I guess raccoons are considered OK in Tennessee, but not skunks! It is illegal to bring a skunk across state lines into Tennessee. We don't need no stinking skunks in Tennessee!
Why in the world would Montana have a law that makes it illegal to have a sheep in the cab of you truck without a chaperon? Actually, I think I would rather not know why!
How about toads and frogs? Frogs must cease and desist croaking at 11pm in Tennessee. I want to know who is out there policing this law? "Hello, this is 911, what seems to be the problem?" "Officer, it is past midnight and there are frogs croaking in my backyard!"
Finally, did you know it is illegal to lick a toad in Los Angeles, California? Do you think, "Yuck, who would want to!", like I did? It seems that there are toads that excrete a hallucinogenic substance onto their skin and people in LA were licking them...thus the need for a law!
Three Minute Warning
Silly Sex Laws
You should always make sure that you can be proud of who you are with and what you are doing. This is very true in Oklahoma where anyone caught soliciting a prostitute gets their name and photo shown on television. Imagine...Look Mom, Dad's on TV!!
Never lie, this is something your mother taught you. She had her reasons in North Carolina. If a man and woman who aren't married go into a hotel and register as a married couple then according to North Carolina law they are legally married.
Remember those embarrassing times when you were younger? You and your latest love, in the car, windows all steamy...when knock, knock is heard on the window. You look out as the officer looks in...Well you wouldn't have these memories if you had grown up in Illinois. There if a police officer suspects the occupants of a vehicle are up to something more than a chat, he must flash his lights or honk the horn and wait 3 minutes before approaching the car.
Then there are the laws that almost make you wonder, why...was this a problem of large proportion...what really goes on in Oklahoma? I ask because you may not molest a car in Oklahoma...neither can a bar owner allow someone to pretend to have sex with a buffalo in that state. You're probably right, I don't really want to know.
How do You Carry Ice Cream in your Back Pocket!?
Flaky Fashion Laws
What is it about ice cream cones and carrying them in your back pocket. Shouldn't it be my business where I carry my cone? Obviously not, here is a list of states that prohibit carrying an ice cream cone in you back pocket:
- Georgia (on Sundays only)
- Alabama (every day)
- Tennessee (every day)
- Kentucky (every day)
- New York (on Sundays only)
Maybe we should look into instituting a federal law banning this! Seems to be a very large problem.
Here's a couple from Oklahoma to beware of. Do not, I repeat, do not go to Oklahoma if you are a New York Jets fan. You may be put in jail for wearing clothing advertising the New York Jets. Never, ever, ever wear your boots to bed as this is illegal.
In Kentucky a female may not be in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is with at least 2 police officers or she is armed with a club. I guess in Kentucky a club in the hand is as good as 2 officers on foot.
New York is a fun town! Women may go topless in public...as long as it is not a business. However, they may not wear "body hugging" clothing in public. Nor may you wear your slippers after 10 pm.
Yes, only true cowboys can wear cowboy boots in California. You must own at least 2 cows before you are permitted to wear cowboy boots. No wanna-be's here!
Wanna be a Cowboy?
Read Part 2--More Dumb Laws In the USA
- More Dumb Laws In the USA
There are so many absolutely ridiculous laws still around in these United States of America. Here are a few that should make you laugh.
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Leave me a comment and tell me about the strange, useless laws of your town.