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More Dumb Laws In the USA
More Dumb Laws
When I was researching "Dumb Laws in the USA", I realized there were just too many to fit in one article. But, there were still so many ridiculous laws to be known! How to choose? Finally, I decided to split it into two articles. Here is part two containing a whole new slew of ludicrous laws.
Food for Thought
Foolish Food Laws
Here is good new in today's economy! In both Tennessee and West Virginia it is legal to gather and consume road kill. Wait, did that say road kill!! Do they mean those little animals sleeping on the side of the road? I am not really sure...road kill...grocery bills..which is worse?
I am sure you have all heard of New England Clam Chowder. It's the white type as opposed to Manhattan Clam Chowder which is red and has a tomato base. In case anyone is wondering where Massachusetts stands on clam chowder...it is illegal in Massachusetts to use tomatoes when making clam chowder. The only state where white is so important you can't make red chowder!
Pickles can be notorious (don't forget the Dill inger gang), so don't eat them in Trenton, NJ on Sundays, it may be as illegal as robbing a bank! People from Connecticut know how to tell a real pickle from a fake. A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces. Keep in mind that if your pickle doesn't bounce do not, I repeat, do not throw it in the street in Trenton, NJ. It is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street in Trenton (any day of the week).
Great Bouncing Pickles, Batman!
Nutty Nature Laws
Our government is starting to confuse itself with God. Texas has started a program that gives grants to political subdivisions to modify and change the weather. I did not know we could do this! Do you think they can modify my weather to match Hawaii's?
I wonder who gets the fine when the Arkansas River rises higher than the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. God or the Governor?
Some states tell mother nature what she can grow and where. In Maryland thistles are illegal to grow in your yard. Hard enough, but you can at least cut them down. Pueblo, Colorado has deemed it is illegal to allow dandelions to grow within city limits. I searched through hundreds of photos of Pueblo and did not see one dandelion! I guess the dandelions learned their lesson! (I sure wish the thistles would.)
Minnesota passed a law stating that all areas where mosquitoes incubate and hatch are public nuisances. Did they say the whole state is a public nuisance? Minnesota is known as the "land of 10,000 lakes"...the word minnesota means water in the language of the Dakota Indians. Do you think there is any place in that state mosquitoes are not incubating and hatching??
How about in Utah, where it is illegal to cause a catastrophe. Here is the law:
Utah: 76-6-105. Causing a catastrophe.
(1) Any person who by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of a building, release of poison gas, radioactive material, or other harmful or destructive force or substance, or by any other means, causes a widespread injury or damage to persons or property is guilty of causing a catastrophe.
(2) Causing a catastrophe is a felony of the second degree if the person causes it knowingly and a class A misdemeanor if caused recklessly.
Enacted by Chapter 196, 1973 General Session
Now I understand some of that, but how can you cause a flood?! What other harmful force, Godzilla? The part of this law I really love is that it is a felony if you cause a catastrophe knowingly, and a misdemeanor if caused recklessly. What happens if it was an accident? Do you have to do some type of community service? I can hear the court case now. I'm sorry sir, I forgot to close the gate behind me and Godzilla just followed me out.
I think California has it right. Here is a law that gives instead of taking! In California sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Wacky Weapons Laws
There are some things in life that should go without saying. Such as detonating nuclear devices, who would possibly think this may be OK? Why do so many states have laws about this? Does this mean it is allowed in all the places that don't specifically mention it?
Marlboro, MA has a law against detonating a nuclear device in the city. I suppose step over the city's boundary it is suddenly fine to do?! Chico, CA clearly defines the penalty for detonating a nuclear device in their city. You will be fined $500...what?! I wonder who is alive to fine you, or separate your dust from the others for that matter. At least in Utah it is illegal to detonate a nuclear device in the entire state...I guess they never paid attention in history!
Nuclear devices are one thing, but think of this deadly weapon...the dreaded silly string! I know, I can hear you all wailing in fear...not the silly string, p-p-please, not the silly string! Yes, just like you, these places also fear the dreaded silly string. Marlboro, MA makes the cut again! The two other cities you can feel silly string safe are Southington, CT and Mobile, AL.
Now, how many of you feel an overpowering need to carry a gun to church with you. Sure, in this day and age you read about people opening fire on a church now and again...but does this really make it appropriate to carry your own. In at least 3 states in the Union the answer is YES! Massachusetts states all men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. They do not state why, but hunting is illegal on Sundays there.
Maine and South Carolina state you must bring your shotgun to church in case of an Indian attack. Is that Indian as in India...or Indian as in Native American??? What year are these states living in? In 1792, Columbus sailed the seas of blue...are you living in these states...do you even own a shotgun?
Some states just make you wonder why...why did they feel the need to put these laws in the books. Take Billings, Montana where it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to the city council meeting...note to self...never join the city council in Billings.
Who knows what goes on in Destin, FL?! In this city you may not shoot off a torpedo in a park. Interesting...note number 2...never go to the park in Destin!
My favorite? North Andover, MA where it is illegal to use a space gun. And I thought we only had alien problems in Roswell, NM! Why do you suppose it is illegal to use "space guns" in this city. Do they have a deviant alien population, space gunning people down in the streets?
Smile and the Whole World Loves You
Silly Smiling Laws
Anthony J. D'Angelo said, "Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of every body's heart." Apparently it is also the key to staying out of jail in Idaho where a person must smile before they go out in public. Wait honey, I'm not ready to go yet. I haven't put on my smile.
In New Jersey you may not frown at a policeman. This must be why people smile and say thanks when they get a ticket. I'd rather be in Michigan. A man may not scowl at his wife on Sunday in Michigan. I bet lots of men go to jail on Sunday's. Imagine...Honey, here is the chores list...But I was watching the big game...Is that a scowl I see on your face...911!
Tombstone, AZ does not say you have to smile, or that you have to frown for that matter. Tombstone just wants to guarantee everyone is on the same playing field. The law states that it is illegal to smile unless you are missing at least one visible tooth. No, no, wisdom teeth don't count. They prefer one of the obvious, right up front teeth where others will notice. The only time you can have a fully toothed smile is if you happen to be under 18 years of age.
Bernard's Township, NJ is one happy place. The town has been declared a "Frown Free Zone".
Laws About Men
Mississippi: A man may not seduce a women by lying and saying he'll marry her.
Minnesota: All men driving motocycles must wear a shirt.
Michigan: No man may seduce of corrupt an unmarried girl or he may get 5 years in prison.
Florida: Men may not be seen in public in strapless gowns
Walnut, CA: A male must obtain a special permit from the sheriff to dress as a female
Haddon, NJ: Cross dressing is illegal. also: Ironton, OH
Hartford, CT: A man may not kiss his wife on Sunday.
LA, CA: A man can beat his wife with a strap as long as it's width is 2" or less. She must consent before he can beat her with a strap wider than 2"
Arkansas: A man can legally beat his wife once a month.
South Carolina: A man can legally beat his wife on the courthouse steps on Sundays. also West Virginia
Stafford County, VA: Legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps as long as it is earlier than 8pm
Here are more Stupid Laws!
Here are more stupid laws, if you care to read them.
Laws About Women
In Montana it is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Montana: Illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sunday; illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at any time
Missouri: 4 non-related women may not live in the same dwelling.
Michigan: A woman may not cut her hair without asking her husband's permission
Vermont: Women must have written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
Virginia: It is illegal to tickle a woman
Tennessee: It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date
New Orleans, Louisiana: A woman cannot drive a car unless her husband walks in front of it waving a flag.
Memphis Tennessee: Women cannot drive a car unless a man walks or runs in front of it waving a red flag to warn people. Also Waynesboro, VA
Tucson AZ: Women may not wear pants
Ohio: Women may not wear patent leather shoes in public
California: Women may not drive cars in their housecoats.
Kentucky: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission
Pennsylvania: Housewives may not hide dirt or dust under the rug
Minnesota: Policemen must kill any cat found running at large, or in alley, street or other public place.
Massachusetts: You may not have a gorilla in the back seat of your car
Destin Florida: Any cat who chases a person in a vicious or terrorizing manner will be deemed a "bad cat".
Key West Florida: Chickens are a "protected species"
You may not keep a pig in Miami Beach.
Poor Donkey, No Bath for You!
Laws about Bathing
Indiana: You may not take a bath from Oct to March
Barre, VT: Everyone must bathe every Saturday night
Massachusetts: It is illegall to go to bed without first taking a full bath.
Boston Mass: No more than 2 baths may be taken within city limits; You may not take a bath on Sunday; you need a prescription to take a bath
Minnesota: All bathtubs must have feet
Missouri: You may not have a bathtub with feet resembling animal paws
Georgia, Arizona: You may not keep a donkey in your bathtub
South Carolina: Can't keep a horse in the bath tub
Arkansas: Can't keep an alligator in the tub
Florida: You may not shower naked
Pennsylvania: You may not sing in the bath
Read Part One--Dumb Laws In the USA
- Dumb Laws In the USA
Stupid, funny and just plain dumb laws abound the the United States of America. Here is a sampling of the odd laws you can find.