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Make Believe

Updated on February 20, 2021

 I feel out of shape
from all these steps I take
my mind's twisted from these feelings
and I'm growing tired of revealing
my inconsistence
why are you so insistent?
this will drive me insane
could this love be so profain?
baby, is this real
or is it something we can't conceal?
am I just a collection
an endless infection
prone to your charm
sending out an alarm
of rising panic
drug me up because I feel manic
but where's the connection
with this masturbating infliction
that caused such emotion
as we held each other in a forceful motion
bent backwards
and forwards
flipped upside down
and thrown to the ground
I feel crushed
out of control and pushed
will you feed me the desires I crave
or lock me up until I scream and rave
give me a kiss to break this spell
and a mirror to show and tell
who's the craziest of them all?
break down this padded wall
hands shaking
earth quaking
shouting whispers
dagger-like fingers
surge through my body like waves
this paranoia enslaves
my mind like a drug
just turn me off, unplug
shower me with negativity
rip out my heart, make me empty
fill these wounds with salt
show me it was really my fault
is this really your voice I hear?
promising hope in my ear
your words seems to roll at a gentle speed
full of grace and greed
I don't even know where I am anymore
trapped in this tiny room without a door
have I really lost it this time?
am I really lost inside my mind?
I hear your voice echoing again
telling me where and when
but are you real?
or a made up sex appeal
a realistic conclusion
to my desired illusions?
a story book fantasy
all this thinking is making me feel tipsy
I must lie down on this bare floor
and dream of you some more
only there
am I truly bare
with you superimposed
a safe place to stay
a home that is only a memory away
have I done this before
falling for you like a pitiful whore
but your silent voice begs me to stay
in this land far far away
deep in my subconscious
down the rabbit hole like alice
sometimes I can't remember these places I mention
I look around, distracting my attention
and my words fall apart around me
should I step out of this light and be free?
or walk with you as a stranger
and pose for this fabricated picture
of a perfect love
surrounded by a shield of invisible gloves
touch this tender nerve of mine
and please make sense this time
because no one can see the things I see
or at night when you come to me
giving me a taste
making me laugh with haste
and close your bony fingers
around my sickly face in anger
and listen to me scream
because death comes easy when it's all a dream
I'm tired of the past repeating
watching my heart continuously bleeding
like glass underneath my skin
a punishment for my eternal sin
I pray for redemption
for my false intentions
tongue tied and twisted
wishing you never existed
now its time to spin the wheel of life one more time
watch it crash down and decline
set in reality
and finally wake up my sensibility
so just take me one more time
before I make up my mind
to finally tell you closeup
that I made you up
a fiction
a contradiction
a fairytale
a reality gone stale
but your part of me
because I believe


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