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Moving Past Hatred

Updated on September 10, 2014

By Michelle Liew Tsui-Lin

All-Rights Reserved

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”

Maya Angelou

The celebrated feminist, humanitarian, entertainer and poetess summed up the call against hatred perfectly, in a single sentence.

This grotesque, taunting root has certainly never solved any problems, but only helped to grow more of them in dubious, ugly glory.

The horrifying fact of the matter is that most of us revel in this malignant growth. None of us can escape feelings of hate that plague us from time to time. After all, we do the best we can, but being saintly is a rather elusive, altruistic goal.

Yet, deal with these feelings, we must. In seemingly trite ways, the roots of hatred take firm hold. They can choke you mentally, emotionally and even physically if you are not wary of them.

The roots of hatred:

1. Unfairness

2. Trauma

3. Lack of self-confidence

4. The influence of peers

5. The History of One's Ancestors

A. The Roots of Hate

Before we start pulling these nasty weeds out, we must first acknowledge how they form. We all know why we hate, but seldom gather our thoughts.

Hatred stems from unfairness. The seed begins to grow in subtle ways. In an example that is relatable to all of us, perhaps parents favor one child over another. A boss gives accolades to one employee over others who have worked as hard, if not harder, than he has. The perceived unfairness that results is a resentful sapling that sprouts into a full grown plant over time.

Trauma or unpleasant past history also causes this seed to grow. Like soiled, untreated water, it causes hatred to grow in a distended, irrational fashion. The trauma of sexual assault and abuse in any form makes it grow like a sick weed.

In a way, we are responsible for nurturing our own hatred. Our lack of self-confidence acts as a nutrient that sustains this dreaded weed. It manifests itself in the form of self-hate. We hate ourselves for not being able to handle matters with the same competence as others. We dislike ourselves for the way we look or feel.

The influence of peers, too, is a mineral that nurtures this weed. Family or friends seed thoughts of hate for certain people or concepts. These thoughts grow and are difficult to block.

They transcend borders and history, flowing from one generation to the next. Think of all religious conflicts and atrocities of war; these are tangled roots, formed over time, that simply cannot be erased.


1. Hate causes anger and depression.

2. It does not help in moving forward

3. It causes irreparable damage.

4. It burns bridges.

5. It paralyzes a person morally.

B. Why we must not hate: damaging roots

Like draining weeds, these roots damage if not pulled out. The roots of hate cause self-destructive anger and depression.

They certainly do not help us to move forward in any way. While you may continue stewing in hatred of someone who is toxic, that person probably does not realize this or even revels in his own negative behavior.

Strong roots of hatred overwhelm the relationship bridges we have built over many years. They can cause irreparable damage.

The roots choke and paralyse a person morally. It becomes hard to tell right from wrong, because you keep justifying the destructive actions you may take to vindicate yourself.


Removing the hatred of others

1. Identify the object of the hatred.

2. Resolve conflicts whenever possible.

3. Work towards forgiveness.

4. Actively replace hateful thoughts.

5. Take positive action.

6. Do not blame yourself.

C. How to move past hatred: Pulling Out The Roots

Moving out of the choke hold of these roots is easier said than done, and takes much conscious effort.

a. The hatred of others

It takes knowing why they grow in the first place. At times, we are not even aware of how hatred starts. Identifying the source of the root shows us how to begin pulling it out.

To start wrestling with these roots, resolve conflicts wherever possible. Take positive action. It does not mean avoiding necessary agreements; it merely means approaching them rationally and reasonably.

Then, dig a little deeper and work towards forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness is probably the hardest part of the root to pull out as it is extremely tenacious. It does not help that it sometimes has validity. But remember that we forgive more for ourselves to move on than for the benefit of others.

To gather strength to tug at these strong roots, actively replace hateful thoughts with humour or thoughts of anything likeable. Positive motivation always helps.

Recognize, too, that hatred of others is not a blameworthy feeling. Know that the feelings are negative and keep them in check, but realise that blaming ourselves for them only grows another, sister root of self-hatred.

Overcoming Hatred

Removing self-hatred

1. Take it easy on yourself

2. Avoid Self-Criticism.

3. Reach out for support.

4. Improve your self-image.

b. Self-Hatred

Can we imagine hating ourselves for our hatred? Self-hatred, for any reason, is another choking root that causes a further, dreaded tangle that is hard to release yourself from.

Go easy on yourself. Realize that hating yourself only destroys your self-esteem, causes a nervous breakdown and does not help you or anyone else.

To weed out the sister weed, avoid self-deprecating language. Providence did not create any unworthy human beings, so it is important to never feel that way.

Reach from beyond the root for support. Friends, family or support groups are always on hand to help.

Yank the root out totally by improving your self-image. Acknowledge your own beauty; it is unique and no one else possesses it.


What is the greatest cause of your hatred?

See results

D. Poem: Red Roots


Throbbing, red


With water

Black and tarried




Our bridges

With hell-bent destruction

Weed Out When

These Malignant Growths

Are In Clear Sight

With rugged, diligent hands

Of truth

And Patience.

E. Conclusion

We can begin weeding these unsightly roots out today.


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    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Deb. No, it doesn't do fact, just the opposite!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Very good points were made here, and I must commend you for this. It does no good to hate. Instead, block out the negative effect, and be grateful that you don't have to go home to it!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Unfortunately, some folks just don't have the notional maturity. Oh well!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Glad you liked it, Rasma!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I fail to to see how some people can be fake with me when thy are just so envious. I don't hate it rather a strong word to use against anyone.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Super hub. Hatred is a negative emotion which should be put aside. Passing this on.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Yes, it is, Aerospace fan. Thank you.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Sylvia!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      The more we hate, the lower our self-worth, Denise!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Yes, the positives, skewed, cause hatred. You are right, Javed.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thank you, Manatita!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      I think we all have to move towards, that, colourful one.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      I think we do much better without it, Bill!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Yes, it is surely deadly, mackyi!!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Pawpawwrites.

    • aerospacefan profile image

      John M 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hatred is a negative energy of anger that is one of the most destructive forces to our spirit. You have a great hub here with an important message. Voted up!

    • boutiqueshops profile image

      Sylvia 3 years ago from Corpus Christi, Texas

      So very well said. I especially appreciate your tips for removing hate. Timely! :)

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      It is interesting that when we start working on our hatred, we often turn on and blame ourselves for the pain it has caused us. Your caution to not let this happen is very timely. So often, we don't realize that our low feelings of self-worth are stemming from this very issue.

    • m abdullah javed profile image

      muhammad abdullah javed 3 years ago

      Excellent Mitchell. Zoomed in nicely into a topic that we all hate. The causes of hate you have mentioned are negative, don't you think some positives too are the root cause of hatred? Like sense of supremacy, rigidity over one's religious vlaues, undue support of own people?

      We should dwel with the subject with regard to its evil impacts. How hatred creat a gulf between different communities. How it hampers the progress. How familial and societal lives get affected? You have slightly touched some of these.

      Hope we all weed the seeds and move ahead being torch bearer of love and affection.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 3 years ago from london

      A very powerful and negative quality that drains us all. Well written and discussed well with great wisdom.

    • colorfulone profile image

      Susie Lehto 3 years ago from Minnesota

      I read the book "The Transformation of the Inner Man:" by John Sandford and Paula Sandford many years ago. It was by far one of the most difficult books I have ever worked through. But, people can change their lives for the better if they really want healing.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thankfully I do not have hatred in my life. That was not always the case. Life is sure more enjoyable without hate.

    • mackyi profile image

      I.W. McFarlane 3 years ago from Philadelphia

      Hatred -- It's one of the most deadliest weapon created by human beings, and also one of the most toxic portions we have introduced in our body!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Chitrangada!

    • Pawpawwrites profile image

      Jim 3 years ago from Kansas

      It a destructive force for sure.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Very well made out points. Hatred destroys self, therefore uprooting it is wiser.

      We must try to move on! Well done and voted up.


    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      How can we uproot our feelings of animosity?