ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My Holiday In Heaven

Updated on August 13, 2013

VENTURED up to Heaven week before last

On an extended holiday.

Heaven really is the place to be,

Or the place at least in which to be seen.

Seriously, everyone was there.

WARHOL had a hair salon,

(Apparently in eternity, career changes are authorized.)

The marquee on the storefront window read:


I told him 'Millennia' is the actual correct Greek plural.

He didn't seem that much concerned.

MAMA Cass and Karen Carpenter

Had a quaint little hamburger stand just across the cul-de-sac.

Ironic, isn't it, that the hamburger taking Cass' life,

Most likely could have saved Carpenter's.

However, neither addressed that issue, however,

And each called me a 'sick-o.'

I ran into John Belushi who,

With his tiny white wings and little round halo, kept saying

How stupid he felt and that white was definitely not his color.

Before parting company, he must have asked a dozen different angels

If they knew where he could score some angel dust.

Not one of them knew exactly what that was, thankfully.

I was so embarrassed.

A shop run by Jim Morrison

Sold lizard boots and leather belts, and although it carried quality goods,

Teetered on the brink of bankruptcy.

Heaven doesn't have a big corner

In the serpent skin or animal apparel fashion market.

Jim complained and fussed that business had sucked, ever since

Elvis opened His store, two or three blocks

Down the avenue.

Mirrors and sequins tend to sell themselves, I suppose,

Especially up in Heaven,

Where everything is so burlesque and gay.

HEAVEN has a great little nightclub ‘though I've forgotten its name.

I do however, still remember the marquee, which

Was very well-illuminated in neon lights:






THE nightclub had a fantastic house-band:

'FIVE DEAD GUYS', (But they all preferred 'F.D.G.')



* JOHN LENNON (Rhythm.)


* JOHN BONHAM (Percussion.)

IT was good seeing them again all seemingly so contented.

Only Jimi expressed a bit of dissent

Desiring that they branch-off more towards jazz.

(To this, the rest of FDG was somewhat adamant.)

However, Miles Davis and John Coltrain,

Who were both in the audience drinking and smoking, and

Sharing a good laugh, amongst

The rest of their dead friends,

Expressed an interest in jamming with Jimi

Sometime in the future.

Jimi bought them each a round, and

Took down their numbers,

Promising to call.

IT was the atmosphere that seduced me that night.

And, although I drank too much,

I DO remember everyone telling me how much the 'Life of the Party' I had been.

Not surprising, really, as I was still very much alive,

While they were all, literally, quite dead.

THE following morning I awoke hung over,

Out of dough and down to my last cigarette, which

I decided to save for the long trip home.

Saint Peter invited me to extend my holiday in Heaven, claiming

He could not remember when he'd last had

Such an enjoyable evening out.

I knew then that it was TIME to leave Heaven.

Saint Peter kept reiterating how TIME was irrelevant, and

How, in Heaven, they had nothing but TIME.

AS I approached the pearly gates to leave,

Driving in my 1960 Plymouth Valiant,

(You know, the one with the Slant-Six-One-Seventy engine, and the Corvette-White paint,)

A sign was posted in the grass beside the exit lane.




BY the TIME I had returned home, the

Grass needed mowing and the mail'd amassed to an almost overwhelming amount.

As I perused the nearly three-weeks of accumulated post, I

Came across a plain white envelope,

The red-inked word LIFE in the sender's return address corner.

The enclosed notice read :


FROWNING, I set it aside.

"I suppose it's all just a matter of TIME, now," I concluded.

ONE week later, on Monday next to be precise,

I suffered a massive heart attack and died.

Earlier, in the morning of that same day,

I had received another plain white envelope

With the wordTIME in the sender's return address corner.

The enclosed notice read:


APPARENTLY, bothTIME and LIFE had finally run out for me.


© 2013. Three Doves Media, LLC.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)