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Never to let go

Updated on January 30, 2015
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Was it really only yesterday?

Was it really only yesterday when we would slip out the window, climb down the ladder, jump off the last rung onto the street with can of spray paint in hand just so we could add our own psychedelic contribution to the side of our community dumpster—our face book in high def…

How we planned to never hide behind that window again covered with its tear-stained pillowcase push pinned to the wall because the dollar store curtain rod broke…

We were going to escape, to start over somewhere far away from the memories hiding inside the room locked away in the alley trying its best not to slide down an even seedier slippery slope…

Then it happened…

You jumped!

leaving me all alone

Forcing me to keep, keeping on…by myself…

To face my demons once and for all-

Leather straps that had left their marks on more than my back…

I had tried to be all the women

Everyone had expected of me

Somehow always getting her wrong

I had tried to say all the right things -

Please those who saw only a whipping post…

And…then you jumped…

leaving me all alone

to find my own ladder

where yesterdays

take me one step

back in time

to that cottage in the woods

where we first made love

snow piling up outside

snuggling under quilts

promising to never let go

to keep on, keeping on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKL4X0PZz7M

© 2015 ocfireflies

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    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker suzettetaos 2 years ago from Taos, NM

      Beautiful poem, Kim. I think many of us have been there where you have been. This is a great response to Bill's challenge and I so enjoyed reading this. Happy New Year, Kim and I love to read your poetry musings.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks Suzette. Off to visit your hub station.

      Kim

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kim, you continue to impress me. You poetry is always so inviting and meaningful. In few words you told a complete story in poetry form, not an easy thing to do. Thank you so much for taking part in the challenge. I'll link it to mine now.

      bill

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Bill,

      So glad you are pleased. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do. I am close to having 100 hubs. Giving me this prompt/challenge allowed me to get one hub closer. Thanks for helping me spread my wings. Smiles.

      Hugs to you and yours,

      Kim

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, Kim, you have surpassed the challenge and then some one this response here to Bill's challenge. You are truly an amazing poet/storyteller. As Bill stated, you told an entire story with few words, which the sign of a gift writer.

      Loved the video choice too.

      Keep on keeping on, sweet woman.

      Up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

      (((Hugs)))

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      Kim, what a terrific poem, chock full of emotion. You told a profound story in only a few words. THAT is a gift. Is the story true? Just wondering. SO glad you entered the challenge, Kim. AND, like I stated in my write, you are still standing...and I am cheering you on to 100 hubs. God bless Sparklea :)

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Your poetry is perfect for this writing challenge. I must say, I'm impressed and intend to read more of your excellent hubs. Sharing this one! Thanks.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Faith,

      After reading the other responses, I feel like I came up short so I appreciate your comments and I APPRECIATE YOU! Thank you for always helping me get my stuff out to more readers.

      hugs and lots and lots of love,

      Kim

      Sparklea,

      So nice to see you. The story (while told metaphorically) is true. Thank you for cheering me on. I really do want to hit the 100 milestone, so I need all the cheering on I can get.

      Blessings,

      Kim

      vocalcoach,

      Thank you for reading. By the way, there is an Idlewild Road very close to wear I live. I think it would be much cooler if spelled like the Idyllwild where you live. I will be reading more of your excellent hubs as well. Thanks so much for sharing.

      Blessings,

      Kim

      Many thanks to all of you fine ladies. I am so thankful and feel incredibly blessed.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      Kim I read your response to Faith Reaper and I do NOT agree you came up short.

      I think people are just busy, and, many times, they tend to write limited, hasty responses with no harm intended.

      I have been where you are. One of my greatest mistakes most of my life has been TRYING to meet the expectation of OTHERS instead of just being who I am: MYSELF. It has taken me so long to get to the point where I do NOT worry about 'what others THINK!'

      I have discovered I just cannot do that any more. It is wonderful to free yourself up and just be who you are.

      (A few weeks ago, I sat at McDonalds starving and ready to eat my burger and fries, and my coke tipped over all over my lap, my chair, and the table and floor. You know what I did? I SAT in the liquid, my lap covered with ice cubes, and I ate my lunch, read my book and thoroughly enjoyed it! I DID NOT CARE WHO SAW ME, OR WHAT THEY THOUGHT. I then informed a very nice employee who cleaned it up...I helped...and you know what? NOT ONE CUSTOMER NOTICED! Everyone was in his/her own little world, people mostly texting, I might add...don't get me started on THAT)

      Your statements about "I tried to be all the women EVERYONE HAD EXPECTED of me SOMEHOW ALWAYS GETTING HER WRONG, I HAD TRIED TO SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS...."

      As Yoda said in the Star Wars movie, "Try? There is no Try."

      I can tell from your hubs and comments you are a beautiful person.

      Embrace your beauty, who you are, and be you...

      I still struggle at times, but my life journey has so improved with my not worrying about what people think, and that is SO important for a writer.

      My greatest battle when I write is thinking, "now, will the reader like this?" That is so wrong, for those who write from their guts and their hearts...they are the greatest ones!

      You write from the heart, that is a great quality, wonderful ocfireflies. LOVE your user name. God bless, Sparklea

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Sparklea,

      I do not know how to respond other than to say I am working hard to put the fears away and work my way back to "Me." I could provide a long list of events that have caused me to lose "Me." My goal is to let 2015 be my year for moving on and away from the hurts and focus on what really matters. You are so kind to write this response and just goes to demonstrate how you are an awesome woman and an inspiration not just for me, but for all the others struggling to find their way back...

      Love, Hugs and Blessings to a Beautiful Woman who sparks not just lea but love.

      ~Kim

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      I have learned that what really matters is the be a bright spot in the lives of others...no matter what I am going through or thinking. It is SO difficult. We all have our 'thing' that tempts us to lose ourselves. My son has not been at our doorstep in 14 years...I have missed seeing his four children grow up. This is a great, unfixable tragedy that I struggle with every single day. But, like I wrote in my Billy Buc challenge: "All is not lost. I am still standing." I focus on those who love me for who I am.

      I don't know if you believe in God, but I do know that He has never, ever let me down. I am amazed at the Divine order in my life. I can no longer carry yesterday...or worry about tomorrow. TODAY is our day to do with it as we decide.

      I truly care about people...I LOVE my son so very much, too. There is a verse in the Bible that reads if you go into a city and the people reject you, go in peace and move onto another city...and shake the dust off your feet. That is what I now do...I shake the dust off the people who reject me and I go onto another city.

      Did not mean to go on and on...I have an extensive prayer list and I will add you to it.

      PS: I also keep a "RED SEA" prayer list...prayers that appear to be impossible to be answered...and, I am happy to say, some HAVE been answered. God bless you always. Sparklea...PS: thank you for your kind words. You are a Godsend in my life

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      as you are in mind

      blessings always

      kim

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Very creative. This is a wonderful response to bill's challenge. I thoroughly enjoyed your poem!...UP+++

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 2 years ago from West Virginia

      A masterpiece as always! Keep them coming Kim.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      fpherj48,

      Greetings! Thank you for describing my response as "creative" and for enjoying it. Happy New Year!

      tlw,

      Hey! I am really close to the 100 hub mark, so I am really trying to keep 'em comin' : )

      Many Blessings to you both,

      Kim

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      ocfireflies,

      I always sense when I read your writing, this included that there is something a lot deeper than the words I am reading on my screen.

      You certainly stepped up for this challenge, I loved it, thank you for sharing.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      sallybea,

      Thanks for reading and leaving your kind comments.

      ~Kim

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Kim, I just found this on Bill's list, another poignant and powerful poem. The world can be a cold and lonely place, when the people we love and trust to catch us when we fall, chooses just that moment to turn away. You say so much in so few words, true talent shining through.

      Best wishes always.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You definitely took great interest in this challenge and I admire your talent expressed here.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Jo and DDE,

      I can't say how much it means for people to associate talent with my work. It truly does help me to "keep on, keepin' on."

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Jo and DDE,

      I can't say how much it means for people to associate talent with my work. It truly does help me to "keep on, keepin' on."

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Jo and DDE,

      I can't say how much it means for people to associate talent with my work. It truly does help me to "keep on, keepin' on."

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Looks like I am late commenting as always Kim. Sorry I didn't get to read this sooner. This wonderful story/poem has attracted some beautiful comments and they are so well deserved. You a a very unique writer with a special ability to touch one's soul. Urging you on to hub 100, that will be a great milestone for you and hopefully an impetus towards even more great writing. Hugs.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      John,

      I am always happy to see you. You always brighten my day. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for being you. I have "100" pretty close to done mark--i guess--just not ready to hit the Pub button--kinda afraid to put that much of me out there...

      Smile,

      Kim

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      Neat one Kim. :-) I pinned & Tweeted it, shared and voted it up.

      Kevin

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Your words were amazing, so much story hidden behind the scenes, if you poured it all out it would cover the whole page, awesome poetry!

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Hey Kevin,

      Thank you for pinning, tweeting, sharing and voting up.

      Nell Rose,

      So good to see you. Thank you for your kind words.

      I hope to make my way soon to visit yours and others hub spaces. I have been working on my 100th hub which hopefully I will feel comfortable enough to publish soon.

      Blessings to you both,

      Kim

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