Novel Books: Time to judge books by their covers
Writing is something I love to do. I think about it on almost an hourly basis, and I’ve been thinking about writing for as long as I can remember. I believe that writing is a passion, and most writers desire to be published authors. Some may work their entire lives in pursuit of published novels. Others get published and make everyone turn their head like a confused dog wondering what they were thinking. This hub is dedicated to those people.
Today we will break the “golden rule” and judge books by their covers. There is no particular order of most bizarre or disturbing. I have just compiled a list after hours on intensive searching, and decided that people should know about these literary oddities. Enjoy!
C is for Chafing (11/25/2011) by Mark Remy
It is hard for a name such as that to not catch attention. I know that is what the author was going for. My immediate reaction was amusement, and then astonishment. But, it caught my attention and it got me reading. Job well done, sir. Surprisingly, or maybe not, this book is not as it seems. It is all about running, and has received accolades from the running community. Think about it like an adult children’s book. This book receives high marks for originality and creativity. Nevertheless, this book, once read, is more of a decoration piece. It is a fully illustrated book based from the alphabet on the obstacles of running. I leave you to ponder this with a quote from the book “R is for road kill. Phew! That sure smells nasty!”
Gangsta Rap Coloring Book (4/1/2004) by Aye Jay Morano
This is another book that immediately caught my attention. I saw it and reacted very similarly as I did with the previous book. However, as I learned more about it, I became more enamored with it. Despite the title, this actually has deeper thought process involved. It is crazy, I know. The author “Aye Jay Morano” is actually Andrew W.K. who apparently prefers to keep his full real name out of the picture. He is a hard rock musician who has written/drawn such works as “Heavy metal fun time activity book” and “Indie rock connect the dots.”. The coloring book is actually just a bunch of pictures of “Gangsta” rap musicians that you can color in. I do not count this as an actual book, since it is devoid of any actual plot or story, and it will receive high ratings from me. I would recommend this to the hipster in your family – if you can stand being around them during the holidays because it is probably too “mainstream”.
How to date a white woman (11/1/2002) by Adam Quan
This book was one that would not have immediately caught my attention. I must admit as a white woman, I wouldn’t have even noticed it except that the internet felt it necessary to post it everywhere. This particular story receives a lot of attention, but none of it is serious, and I believe the author was genuinely trying to be serious. The title is interesting, but it is not enough to get me to read it. According to the reviews it is not really well written and the advice is vague at best. If anyone reads this, please let me know what you thought.
Who cares about Elderly People (6/1/1995) by Pam Adams
I accidentally came across this on my search for the most bizarre books, and I immediately felt at a loss for words. The title makes you wonder if the artist is serious and believes elderly people should be gathered up and put on a boat, or if we should care about the elderly. Now, I found a link on youtube where a random person reads the book, and I was still undecided. It appears that Adams sincerely wants to spread the message “care for the elderly” however, the reading leaves me unconvinced. Here’s a quote directly from the book: “They can’t always remember. They may become absent minded.” This is below a picture of an elderly person pouring milk on a plant. I am noticing a trend of bad books for children. Aren’t children our future? It would appear that we may be doomed. This book received bad reviews from me because I feel like that was time of my life I will never get back.
Do it yourself Coffins: for pets and for people (7/1/2007) Dale Power, Jeffrey B. Snyder
Have you ever woke up and then thought, “Hmm, how are they going to make my coffin to my specific desires?” Well, if you have (and who hasn’t) then we have the book for you. See, this book is for all the people who did not want to waste their time getting a book to teach them how to make box cars, small gardens, or those sissy book shelves we all use. No, this book is for the people who think ahead. There are three different pet and people sized coffins to make. The best deal about this is that one box doubles as a blanket chest or a coffee table. I would say this is for the single lad who feels that dating women are not a priority. Or, for the Twilight fans who already have everything.
Even though I only highlighted five books, I feel it necessary to point out that there were more books than I could wrap my mind around. These were the five that I could read and give a good critique on. I feel there are some honorable mentions in rank of crazy. Cats seem to be a popular craze, as expected, we have: “Does God Ever Speak Through Cats” by David Evans, and “101 more uses for a dead cat” by Simon Bond. In case you feel that you don’t have your fashion to popular standards you could always consult the book “Liberace: your personal fashion Consultant,” or “Boy George Fashion and make-up Book,” by Wayne Winder. Finally, I would like to give a plug to my hometown writers in the book “Ghosts: Minnesota’s Unnatural Resource,” by Brian Leffler. For these and more bizarre and entertaining books, I have several websites below where you can discover the wonders of novel books.