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Over 40 and Single
Are you happy?
I guess the title says it all in some regards...I'm single and over 40. Who would have thought it, I guess many of us say...as little girls, we're told that we should strive to have a husband and family...a few kids...that all equals a "happy home" and "fulfilling life"....so why is it, at my age (40+), I am perfectly happy not being married, having my child grown and gone, and living my life as I wish?
Granted, there are times that I worry about the future - all the retirement stuff...wondering if I will be able to support myself, what would happen if I should fall down and break a hip or something...but then again..I think about the people I have surrounded myself with...I have purchased a wonderful house ( a little bigger than I really need - but I'm looking at resale value) - in a good neighborhood with very kind neighbors. We all get together once a week for a little "get to know your neighbors" at the cul-de-sac and laugh and share experiences. Some of us are older, have been married and had kids, others are single or young couples with small children. We all care about our neighborhood and the people here. I know, should the need arise, that there would be someone here to help me if I needed it.
But I digress...going back to my life, my house, my home...should I be worried? I don't know. I'm sure there are people out there (men and women) who worry about being "ALONE"...you know, not having that "SOMEONE" there all the time...but I don't. Maybe I should worry - and sometimes I think that I should be more concerned with it...but then I start thinking about what I DO have...I have my own house. I have a dog. I am fully capable of supporting myself. I can afford a few luxuries...I can come and go as I please...I can take "road trips" without worrying about if and when I come home...I can pick up and go shopping without clearing it with someone else....I can spend as much or as little as I want...I don't have to worry about irritating my significant other...if I want to have cereal for dinner I can...if I want to have steak for breakfast, I can...I don't have to share the remote for the television. I can take a shower and use up all the hot water. I can sleep in or get up as early as I want. Can I leave dirty dishes in the sink until the next morning or more? Yes, I can. Can I leave the bed unmade? You betcha! Do I have to do laundry on a specific day? Nope...any day I want. If I want to pick up take-out for dinner, can I ? Yeppers. If I want lobster or steak tonight, do I need to worry if it's "okay" with someone else? No. If I want company for dinner, I can ask a neighbor to go with me. If I want to grill instead, okay.
If I feel the need for company...I can go and volunteer at a non-profit. I spend my time with organizations that I want to support. I don't have to spend my time worrying about the in-laws or the family. I don't have to worry about impressing someone's boss or co-workers. Do I worry about having the "family" over for Thanksgiving or Christmas? Do I worry about "are we going to your sides' or mine first?" every time? Nope. If I want to spend time with family at the holidays, I can choose who and for how long I stay.
So - am I happy? Yes, I think I am.
Now to some, this may sound like a lonely life...not having that "companionship" that some married or attached couples have...but I think for some of us...at least for myself...we can appreciate the time spent with a loved one all the more. We value the time and effort, love and affection, knowing that it is only for a short time. We strive to "connect" with each other in a meaningful way. We value each and every touch. We remember the simple things. A laugh. A conversation. A touch. A smell. A feeling. So - I think, we tend to value the "little things" a bit more.
Sure - there are times that I am lonely. There are times I wish there was another body in my bed. And maybe if I meet that "special someone", I will change my mind. But for now...I am happy. We all have choices in life. I choose to enjoy it.