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OxyMorons (Hilarious Combinations) That Will Make You Smile

Updated on May 01, 2011
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Wikipedia defines Oxymoron as a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Often we use them placing an adjective and noun together to create a term that does not make any sense. How many of us actually critique another person's meaning, unless of course we question the answer. A friend of mine happened to send me an e-mail that made me realize all of us use Oxymoron's continually, not only in our writing but when we speak to each other face to face. Willing to share some of the Oxymoron's she sent to me and with respect to the author or writer who created them and of course there are a handful I created knowing that they were silly, hoping to put a smile on your face , pep in your step here are the top twenty five Oxymoron's that I have enjoyed ones that have made me smile.

1. Is it Good If A Vacuum really sucks? What does this mean is it really good? Isn't that what a vacuum is supposed to do?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Does this really make any sense?

3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words? Where do you think?

4. Why do we sing " Take me out to the ball game?" when we are already there? Gotcha' thinking didn't it?

5. If love is blind why is lingerie so popular? Remember love is blind.

6. Christmas: Why do we sitting in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks? Does this make any sense?

7. Why is bra singular and panties plural? Both require two things don't they?

8. If the entire world is a stage, who is the audience? What are all of us watching at the same time?

9. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is after light?" Silly but true

10. What makes dinner and supper different? It has the same meaning or does it?

11. We call them the hoosiers? What is a hoosier? Does anyone have any really idea?

12. If a word was misspelled in the Webster's dictionary , how would any of us ever know?

13. Why are they called 'stands' when they are meant to place your bottom on?

14. Why is a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites ? Could it be age?

15. Why does anyone press harder on a remote control when they know the batteries are dead?

16. Why do we drive on a freeway , when the freeway certainly is not free?

17. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Who created this?

18. Why is it that everyone has a Television set but it is only considered one? Sure does sound multiple to me.

19. Why do ' Tug Boats' push their barges? They are supposed to tug isn't that correct?

20. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right? What a question isn't it?

21. She sure is 'pretty ugly', which one is it?

22. Don't forget to submit your original copy, would you not want the original? So why copy it?

23. I would like your objective opinion? What in the world? If you are asking someones opinion would it not be an objective one?

24. You look like the 'living dead'? I believe that when we died, we certainly were not left alive.

25. What an organized mess! How can a mess be organized? mmmm... only from a writer's desk could that be the answer?

Next time we write we should be objective to opinion and certainly not tell anyone they look like the living dead and depending on your age you could be a wise guy or a wise man I wonder if someone thought about a wise woman and a wise gal are they also different?

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    • camlo profile image

      Camlo De Ville 7 years ago from Cologne, Germany

      I have somebody to clean up for me, otherwise, I'd live in an organized mess -- I know exactly where everything is, it has a logic even if it looks like chaos. Besides, a writer doesn't have time to clean up.

      I do that with the remote control, too -- press harder when the batteries are dead ...

      Do you notice that when people are waiting for a bus, they look in the direction it should come from? As though this would make its arrival faster.

      Enjoyed your Hub -- was terribly good!

      All the best, Camlo

    • Georgiakevin profile image

      Georgiakevin 7 years ago from Central Georgia

      Very funny and well written. As to question 20 I am cross eyed and dyslexic. I still see words that are silly when i am tired so that answers 20!

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      camlo: Thanks and I have noticed that as well when it comes to the bus it has never ever made any since to me. :)

      GeorgiaKevin: Thank you for answering that one. :)

    • profile image

      papajack 7 years ago

      It could just be that the wise woman and the wise gal are destined to be supreme court justices. We could use some more.

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Ha! Thanks, J. You made me laugh. There are a few others they aren't oxymorons but are odities of the English language: How do you go to the bathroom when you're already inside the bathroom? Thanks :D

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      papajack: I absolutely agree! :)

      dohn121: Gotta say that is a good question and absolutely hilarious! lolololo :D

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 7 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      Sweet, you know I love humor!

      Keep on hubbing!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      eovery: I love humor to and when we have a bad day it somehow manages to cheer us up.:)

    • Legacy Wellness profile image

      Legacy Wellness 7 years ago from Katy, Texas

      AEvans

      Thanks for the Laugh. Great Hub!!

    • tony0724 profile image

      tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

      I like lingerie ! But on the other gender of course ! I suspect it has nothing to do with love .

    • wesleycox profile image

      wesleycox 7 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

      This is a very funny list. The ones that made me laugh and/or think is 7(men wear underwear [one] women wear panties [more than one]? Funny. 15 made me laugh cause I do that all the time. Press harder it'll work :) and of course 18. A TV set (what's in the set)? Nowadays you may get the TV and a remote in the set but back when it first started it was still a TV set, but you only got the TV. Very funny indeed. Thanks for the chuckle.

    • Peter Dickinson profile image

      Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

      I enjoyed those. Fun to read a collection of truths. Christmas tickled me. Thank you.

    • profile image

      mtsi1098 7 years ago

      I enjoyed this...thanks...Here is one Why do people with accents sing clearly but are sometimes difficult to understand in conversation? I would like to link this to one of my Questions hubs (if you do not mind)

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      great hub, well done. Thank you.

    • emievil profile image

      emievil 7 years ago from Philippines

      Hi Juliana. You got me thinking there. Number 24 reminded me of a phrase from one of my friends when she was ranting. She said "I wanna die DEAD!" :) Here's another one - that book is boring. It bored me out of my skull. Don't know if these are examples of an oxymoron but they show a nice twist of words. :) thanks for this fun hub. :)

    • aguasilver profile image

      John Harper 7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Nice one, I just posted it to my blog site!

      John

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Legacy Wellmess: I enjoy making people smile. :)

      tony0724: You are to funny!!! lololo :D

      weslecycox: Use them they are so hilarious and do not make any sense do they? lololo :D

      Peter Dickinson: The Christmas caught my eye to , silly but truthful. lolo :D

      mtsi1098: You are more then welcome to link it to one of your hubs, I would also enjoy reading it which one is it? :D

      Hello, hello: You are so welcome ! ::::::::::::::::)

      emievil: Those are hilarious!!! lololo here is one we watched a movie that was called " Bored To Death" how can you be bored to death? lololo

      aguasilver: I am so happy you enjoyed and you were more then welcome to post it to your blog site. :)

    • profile image

      mtsi1098 7 years ago

    • profile image

      poetlorraine 7 years ago

      Always a pleasure to read your hubs, this was as good as antiscipated

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      mtsi1098: I also enjoyed yours as well, it certainly made me think and I realized how many times I asked how and why. :)

      poetlorraine: Thanks so much it was fun writing about it and I am glad I made others smile. :)

    • Jen's Solitude profile image

      Jen's Solitude 7 years ago from Delaware

      Thanks for the laugh, #15 was my favorite, press and bang on my wrist, why do I go there?

    • drcrischasse profile image

      drcrischasse 7 years ago from NH/Foxboro

      great and funny too

    • cally2 profile image

      Paul Callaghan 7 years ago from Paraparaumu, New Zealand

      Just a couple more with the language. Why is dyslexia so hard to spell? And why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Jen's Solitude: My husband does that allthe time and I only have to laugh because he gets so darn agitated. lololo

      drcrischasse: Thank you. :)

      cally2: Those are fantastic! Why is it so hard to spell and who in the heck comes up with these things. lololo :D

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 7 years ago

      "Press harder on the remote!" Lol! Perhaps because we are initially conditioned to mechanical devices which require force to operate!

      Interesting hub, Thanks!

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      quicksand: You are so funny! lololo initally conditioned I so do agree. lololo :D

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

      Hehe...English was created to add to the confusion the world is already enveloped in!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Feline: You are so politically correct, lololo :D

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

      AE - where have you been? The living dead refers, of course, to the ever popular zombie! Great list, you really gave me a good laugh.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

      These are great! I always enjoy your writing, AE.

    • heart4theword profile image

      heart4theword 7 years ago from hub

      This was cute, I have heard some of these sayings before. They really make you think? FUN!

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Dolores: I am so glad that I made you laugh and I apologize to everyone for the response delay I have been here and there and everywhere and I am certainly happy you enjoyed!:)

      James: I am glad that you enjoyed. :)

      heart4theword: They certainly do and I had fun entertain them and placing them here for others to enjoy, I am also happy that you enjoyed. :)

    • Mezo profile image

      Motaz 7 years ago from Egypt

      looooooooool AEvans...that was fun, well..some of them were horrible :P:D:D:D..no seriously i really enjoyed it..thanks a lot :):D

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Mezo: You are welcome! :)

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 7 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      You've raised a bunch of good points. My vacuum cleaner sucks, it's on its last leg I will need a new one soon. I guess I better buy one that doesn't suck hahaha

      as always a great hub loved it.

      Hope you're well

      regards Zsuzsy

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Zsusy: Hi considering all that has been happening around me, I am doing fine and I am glad that you enjoyed this crazy little hub.:)

    • Challah1202 profile image

      Challah1202 6 years ago from Chandler, TX

      I loved them. They do keep me on my toes, but not for long.

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Challah1202: lololololo, Thank you for your thoughts they keep me on my toes too! lololololo :D

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Hmm..."oxymoron" actually refers to a pair of words in immediate juxtaposition that are absolutely contradictory, such as "pretty ugly." ("Military intelligence" also comes to mind...(smirk)

      Your collection of funny observations strike me more as paradoxes..."why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway" kind of things.

      Nonetheless..very entertaining, and yes, funny and thought-provoking.

    • danigee28 profile image

      danigee28 5 years ago

      I agree with DzyMsLizzy, though still very entertaining! (Frozen hot dog is a good example, as well).

      Though, the third hand on a clock is called the second hand since it indicates the seconds, right? :P

    • Wrath Warbone profile image

      Terry Chestnutt 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      Cheered me up pretty good! Thanks.

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      DzyMsLizzy: Thank you. Yes they can also be paradoxes. :)

      danigee28: Mmmmmm... lolo! Gotta love them. :)

      Wrath Warbone: You are welcome! :)

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      DzyMsLizzy: Thank you. Yes they can also be paradoxes. :)

      danigee28: Mmmmmm... lolo! Gotta love them. :)

      Wrath Warbone: You are welcome! :)

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Why do we sitting in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks? This one tickled my funny bone. Thanks for the humor. This list is great!

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Tammyswallow: Glad to make you smile all of us need that in our lives. Thanks for stopping by. :)

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Funny hub! Really enjoyed having a laugh early this morning!

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      kelleyward: Waking up and laughing is wonderful! Thanks so much for stopping by. :)

    • Lucky Cats profile image

      Kathy 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

      Hahaha! Love this! Funny!!! And, some pretty good questions, too!!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Lucky Cats: They are silly aren't they? lololo! Glad you enjoyed! :)

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