Poem: Love Slips Away
When Love is not meant to be.
Love Slips Away
He stands by the door
His soft eyes holding mine
Above the mingling crowd
The noise fades...his intensity
A warm scarf around my shoulders.
When his arm brushes mine
The warm of a thousand suns
Linger, warmth upon warmth
Seeping through
to grasp the heart..
eager yet floundering.
His laughter launches
A soft flurry of bubbles
Like newly opened champagne
Light and airy, joy and sadness
Mingling in the tormented cup.
Lying side by side
The soft green lawn our bed
The sky our escape
Where the world becomes tiny pixels
In a picture with only you and I.
But is there?
In your presence I feel
The glow of the fireflies
The flush of love so soft
Tiptoeing along
The edge of darkness.
Why then this oxymoron
Love me, love me not?
The pull of wanting and then
Drawing back?
This chemistry, is it just me?
In the old beat-up Toyota,
His knuckles white from gripping
The wheel as we sat under the Frangipani.
The street light a halo of shattered glass
As he stammers out the truth.
In another world, another place, he says
It would be so plain, clear
As his heart desires but …he signs
Duties call, honor first
"I have to go," he bursts.
In my dreams, he stands
Outside the door
His eyes searching for mine
His arm stretches to embrace
But the vast emptiness stands
The gulf of distance we can never hope to cross.
When you lose someone you truly love, the hurt can never go away. The aching will be there today, tomorrow and the days after all the tomorrows. Though time can soften the lenses through which the experience is viewed, the bittersweet is still there, hiding somewhere in the corners of the heart and it doesn’t take much for that memory to resurface. Sometimes it’s an event, sometimes it’s a scene from a movie or certain phrase, a poem or a song. Sometimes, it’s the time of the year or a certain ambience. For me, it came all afresh (again) with the song “Someone like You” by Adele. How could I escape when I hear this over the radio and they play it at least ten times a day?
The first stanza goes:
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Though the scenario is slightly different in the song, it holds all the sentiment of love lost. We met while doing some volunteer work with some poor kids in a newly established church. His sincere and warm ways grew on me and the attraction soon became evident. While he wore his feelings on his sleeves, there’s a reticence I cannot quite understand. While he struggled with his inner feelings, I have no clue until he broke the news that fateful night. He already had a girlfriend before he met me and while the chemistry was strong, he felt the need to meet his family's and the girl’s expectations. He was in medical school at that time and he was expected to marry the girl he met in medical school when he graduated. He told me he wished he had met me first.
The refrain goes:
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes, love is not meant to be, despite the strongest of feelings and you have to move on. I did but how can you ever forget the love that you want it to be?
Copyright 2011. All RIghts Reserved.
