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Funny & Thoughtful Quotes About Money

Updated on March 9, 2011

There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~Coco Chanel

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde

There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty

We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf

Money is a headache, and money is the cure. ~Everett Mámor

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus

We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison

There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Frank Hubbard

Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ~Carl Sandburg

When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb

Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope

Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer

If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding

Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. ~George Gobel

We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem

Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. ~Henrik Ibsen

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw

If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. ~Henry Ford

We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money. ~Satchel Paige

We ought to change the legend on our money from "In God We Trust" to "In Money We Trust." Because, as a nation, we've got far more faith in money these days than we do in God. ~Arthur Hoppe

When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire

Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis

A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~W.C. Fields

Money doesn't talk, it swears. ~Bob Dylan

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. ~Doug Larson

Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will. It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services. ~Albert Jay Nock

He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. ~Henry Ward Beecher

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~Yogi Berra

Inflation is taxation without legislation. ~Milton Friedman

Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. ~Zig Ziglar

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. ~Oscar Wilde

Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram

Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. ~Norman Vincent Peale


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    • profile image

      Julie K Henderson 

      5 years ago

      Very nice. I especially like the Henry Ford quote. Voted up.

    • profile image

      i will be millionaire 

      8 years ago

      Hello, all os us wants to be millionaire, I am trying to became..I build a site to help other peopple to reach.

      The project named I WILL BE MILLIONAIRE(, because is Give, and it will be given to you.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 

      8 years ago from USA

      You've compiled a great list of quotes here Maddie. Like Hazok said, they are contradictory but somehow all true!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I love möney!!!! But not more then my principles, ethices and values.......

      So don't sacrifce your golden principles for the money......

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      money is everything if u have it people will give a shit but u can afford not to give a shit about anybody otherwise its the oher way around

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Money is only as important as you want it to be.

    • faith03 profile image


      10 years ago

      This one struck me

      Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life.

      Money is a necessity to survive, but don't spend too much time trying to make the money to where you aren't able to enjoy the time that is given to you in life.

      Good hub!

    • AutumnLockwood profile image


      10 years ago from Northern California

      Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. I so agree with this.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      10 years ago from Sunny Florida

      "If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." This quote is my pick of the litter because it is oh so true. Unfortunately the lack of money makes money important. Great quotes.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      11 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Two quotes struck me today Maddie! And I'm pondering on them right now..

      "It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy." AND "It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money."

      Thanks for this! :)

    • jbackus7 profile image


      12 years ago

      Some of the qoutes are profoundly correct

    • gbgbusiness profile image


      12 years ago from Franklin, IN


    • hassam profile image


      12 years ago from Pakistan

      Great hub..........I see you are simply one of the best hubber around .........keep it up!

    • Hazok profile image


      13 years ago from Malaysia

      Some of the quotes contradicting each other. But how come I find that all of them are true. Great hb

    • TalentManager profile image


      13 years ago from Suisun City, Calif.

      Money is a necessity to survive.



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