Random Musings and Other Assorted Ramblings

Today I logged in to Hubpages and surprise, surprise, one of my articles, Ideas: What Are Yours Worth, was given an Editor's Choice award! This is the first time I have received an Editor's Choice and needlessly to say I am as happy as an owl that caught a Siamese twin rat! I did not expect this, I guess this must mean that I am doing SOMETHING right. I don't know what it is and frankly I don't know if I should really care. My motto is to just push through, come awards or berate.

As happy and honored as I am by this accomplishment, I am a cynic. Yes you know where this is going. Does receiving this award mean that I have improved in my writing or does it mean that Hubpages's standards have gone down to the extent that a Hubber like me can get an Editor's Choice? Perhaps because since the Google-a-gedon the number of writers on this page, writers much better than me, have gone down drastically and that leaves people like me with more chance of receiving an Editor's Choice? I don't know. Am I becoming better or have the standards gone down?

I hope the staff at Hubpages don't read this and get mad at me and remove the badge. I am honored don't get me wrong. But well, I am cynical when it comes to these things. I sleep with one eye open. I am not a man of events, I am a man of process. Events gets me wary.

Either way, I can't help but be pleasantly surprised, I have a huge grin on my face. I am not going to celebrate too much for it though, I am just going to plow through and keep writing, I don't think my writing is all that special. I enjoy writing, but when I saw the Editor's Choice, my first response to the staff at Hubpages was "Get outta here! Me? Are you sure you are not making a mistake?"

It is frustrating when you receive the shorter end of the stick, the worse of the bargain. Sometimes you feel you have no other choice and this is what you deserve, your stick should not even be a millimeter longer. You do not complain about it. Although deep inside you know you are getting screwed and you should ask for something better.

But you feel it is wrong to ask for it, since it is selfish, you tell yourself it could be a lot worse, the stick could be a lot shorter. But your gut says you can get a better deal. And you read/heard somewhere that if you feel you are getting screwed, chances are you are. But what if you are wrong? what if you are not getting screwed and you accused the other person simply because of "gut feeling"?

You are left feeling uneasy. You are angry, you feel abused. You gut feels it is being abused. But you feel helpless. Caught in a web you wove yourself.

You are confused. You can't accept, you keep wondering, am I really being screwed or is this a fair deal? You are not even sure if you are getting the shorter end of the stick, because you do not know what the other person is sacrificing to give you this deal, you feel your end of the stick is short. You want a longer one, but you do not know if the other person has the shorter/longer end. And so you hesitate, you do not know whether to retaliate or to accept. We wish we could just be straight forward and ask "What's in it for you?" But we are not kids. We are adults.

Such a complicated web we weave. Web of deceit, of lies. That is after all what webs are for, for deceiving a prey. So how come we are the ones that gets trapped and our prey devours us on our own selfish web?

It is really hard to take a stand when we cannot find a good excuse to do so. We get the shorter end of the stick, we don't like it, but we just keep quiet either way, because what excuse do we have for taking a stand and ask for a better deal?

A child can just yell and say "I don't like this give me a longer stick!" How simple they make it look. They are children, their morality and selfishness are not questioned. But what about us who are stuck in the web....of adulthood?

It always happens when I want to start a hub. You know that feeling you get when you are standing in front of a swimming pool and you are about to jump into it? You contemplate the rush you will get as you enter the water with a splash. One second you are dry and breathing air, the next second you are inside the pool, cold. It is such a shock to the senses, you wonder how it is going to feel, how long will it take for your head to finally go back on the surface. All of that in reality takes a few seconds, but you contemplate it nonetheless.

That is how I feel when I want I am about to dive head on into writing. I start wondering, where will this go, how will this end? And how many words will there be. Will there be enough words to get tick marks on all goals in the "need some goals?" section we see in the upper right corner when writing a hub?

Can I write that long on a particular topic? Should I just make things up so I can at least get the minimum word count for a decent hub? Will I be scrapping at the bottom of the barrel after a mere 200 words?

I think that is my biggest fear, to end up having to scrap the bottom of the barrel after so few word counts. I want all my articles to carry some weight, I refuse to add fluff to my articles just to make them look longer. And When I start a hub I will finish it. I won't stop midway and leave it. I don't know may be I should start doing that, and may be get back to it once I have something new to add. I am not sure.

So far I always finished my articles at one go. It has served me well. Or has it? May be I need to be served better. Will I be served better if I do that?

I feel that the word 'love' should not exist. What is love? can you define it? You cannot. Go to any random person and ask him/her what is love. That few seconds of silence before he/she rambles nonsensically trying to answer your question, is what love does. It is so broad in its meaning.

I feel that just writing about it over here is wrong.

It feels so futile to write about it. It has so many colors and shades and meaning and feeling. I feel we should stop talking about love or trying to define it. We have tried capturing the essence of love with words, with pictures, with music. People have gone crazy trying to find it in their intellect what it is.

Some of the greatest minds that have ever lived have tried and failed, at most we can applaud them at their amazing attempts, give them a grammy for the song they made on it. Give them an Oscar for the movie they made on it. Because the intellect, as great as it is, is so limited. Our intellectual is limited. Our intellectual definition of anything will always have a loop hole. It can never be perfect. What we say can always be misinterpreted. Always.

Describing what love is, is like trying to describe the color Green to a person who is blind from birth. Sure you can write a poem or a song on the color Green, but you will only understand, no. Not understand. You will KNOW it when you see it. Same you will KNOW love when you feel it. It is a feeling, not a word or an explanation. Words and labels are meant to be understood.

Love is not meant to be defined. Love will always outpour definition, it always prove itself to be bigger than the limited cage of definition. It is simply meant to be known. It is futile to describe it. You will fail, and you will grow mad failing.

When a great person says something, or comes up with something he/she thinks is the perfect definition for anything, there will always be someone who will come up and say "yes, but..." It will never end. So it is better to know and be.