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Rules 2 Live By

Updated on August 16, 2011

These are just some funny and real rules that have happened to me. If any of you have something lets add them.

Rule Number 1: Never watch Psycho and then take a shower.

Rule Number 2: Never go to a Carnival after watching Stephen Kings "IT".

Rule Number 3: Never bring water balloons filled with pee to school and NOT think you could hit one of the VP's.

Rule Number 4: Always blame your teachers for your grades.

Rule Number 5: Never eat a whole bag of guacamole chips and not expect your poop to not be green.

Rule Number 6: If your friends act like 5 year old's "ALL THE TIME"; never have them sit in the passenger seat. They "WILL" push buttons they don't know and piss you off!

Rule Number 7: Always be sure if you're going to talk bad about someone that they aren't behind you.

Rule Number 8: If you're going to lie to your significant other, make it a damn good lie!

Rule Number 9: Always make sure your friends(kids) are seat belted in. They might just go thru the window if you happen to crash.

Rule Number 10: If you're going to text while driving and it's illegal in your state, make sure you're a damn good texter.

Rule Number 11: Never watch Jaws on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Rule Number 12: If you think you can sing, but people keep telling you that you suck, do not try out for American Idol.

Rule Number 13: If the only talent you have is moving your ears, do not try out for America's Got Talent. You will go home.

Rule Number 14: If you assume your parents/step parents are the devil or just a huge ugly dragon that spits fire, you are not wrong. They really are one. 

Rule Number 15: Super Mario Bros. is a video game, do not be moronic enough to try to warp yourself into the mushroom kingdom by going down a sewer pipe. All you will do is get stuck and either have the fire department called, or end up food for a lot of rats.

Rule Number 16: Never go down into the engine room looking for Alien.

Rule Number 17: Never walk into a cave full of Alien eggs and put your face near one.

Rule Number 18: If you ever see a rabbit with a clock; Do NOT follow him!!

Rule Number 19: If you think calling your mom a bitch makes you look cool; its not.. You’ll just end up getting grounded.

Rule Number 20: If you think you can get away with having the mail key to go grab your grades before your parents and rip it up and throw it away and NOT think your parents will find out? They will find out and go make you get all the pieces from the trash and tape it back together.


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    • sublimegurl439 profile image
      Author

      sublimegurl439 6 years ago from Granite Bay, CA

      Not a problem.. Thanks everyone

    • Esmeowl12 profile image

      Cindy A. Johnson 6 years ago from Sevierville, TN

      Thanks for giving me a smile today!

    • profile image

      marellen 6 years ago

      Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm...very funny....

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

      What a great hub and thanks for sharing.

      I have to vote up and I now look forward to reading many morehubs by you.

      Take care

      Eiddwen.