Why the Rules of No Contact Is Important! No Contact Rule With an Ex Advice
Why The No Contact Rule With An Ex?
The question of "Why The No Contact Rule With An Ex" seems to be asked quite often by those who are not familiar with this powerful tactic. Even worse, a lot of people have been getting a lot of bad advice on the internet concerning the rules of no contact.
This leads to many being mislead and completely using the no contact rule after a breakup in a manner that is bound to fail. The core reason for this, as I have found, is the mindset that many believe have about no contact and the rules to this tactic.
Misconceptions About No Contact!
While too many articles out there focus the importance of the no contact rule after a breakup makes your ex miss you, this advice often misconstrues the reader into believing that NC will have an ex come running back.
Although there is a bit of truth that cutting off communication and disappearing from an ex for awhile will make them miss you, there's a lot more to the tactic than that oversimplified function. Too many articles focus on what the no contact rule with an ex does to the ex. They don't get into the real reason of the true importance of the no contact rule.
Many don't even know that there are rules to no contact to follow. Most just think it's no communication and that's it. That mindset couldn't be further from the truth.
Nc Is Not Really About Them!
That's right, and you did read that right. No contact isn't really about your ex. Too many looking to get an ex back only focus on the question of, "What does the no contact rule do to an ex?"
How does it affect them?
Does it make them miss me?
Will it make them wonder?
Can you get them back using NC?
I want you to read all of those questions and tell me what they all have in common. Figure it out yet? All those questions focus too much on your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend.
Those questions strip you of your power and hand it to your ex. Those questions are still dripping with a needy and desperate mindset.
So if you haven't figured it out yet, NC or no contact is all about you! Yes, this tactic is supposed to be used for you, and you only. During this period, you're supposed to start healing and moving on with your life.
Won't using NC drive them even further away? Okay, let's get into the psychology, shall we?
Psychology Behind The Rules of No Contact
Your ex wasn't born yesterday. Chances are they still know you desire them back. Chances are you've made every single one of the breakup mistakes in trying to convince them to come back or that they made a huge mistake about breaking up.
The more you chase the more they will run.That fact is just one of the important breakup mistakes to avoid, and no contact after a breakup keeps you from committing damaging breakup mistakes.
Shortly after a break up, it's important to distance yourself when you're still emotional. It's the same concept to when a couple has a heated argument or fight. You both need time to cool off.
It's the same thing concerning a break up. You two are both going to be emotional. Your ex will be defensive, because they know you're going to fight with them on their decision. You'll be even more hurt and emotional.
When you're emotional, you'll do and say things you will regret later. It will be easier for you to get frustrated and lose your temper. No contact keeps you from further damaging yourself in your ex's eyes.
More importantly, this space will allow you time to get your emotions under control. It will also give you the time to accept that the relationship has ended and begin moving forward.
You have to start off fresh again. You cannot just pick up where you left off with your ex girlfriend. This is a huge mistake. Most people who use the no contact rule with an ex girlfriend will not accept that it's over and not deal with the emotions of the break up. You have to get over the break up.
You see, even if you do reunite with your ex girlfriend after no contact, you'll be in the same emotional state and mindset when and shortly after the break up occurred. You wont be in the right frame of mind to reverse the break up.
Instead, you'll still be needy and desperate, and this will not re-attract your ex girlfriend. You have heal from the break up, and you have to be at your best emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
That fact is something that you cannot neglect. Remember, your ex girlfriend was attracted to you at one time. Somewhere down the line, she lost attraction for you. You have to re-ignite that attraction again. No contact is the period where you work on yourself.
I'm not saying that you have to be someone you're not. Don't get me wrong on that. All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with being a better you. Life is about constantly learning and discovering new things about yourself.
When you enter the no contact period, you will be working on gaining your self confidence back. What's the best way to do this? To try new things and gain new and fun experiences.
However, there are circumstances when you should not use The No Contact Rule and use Limited Contact Rule instead. Click the link to learn more about the Limited Contact Rule.
More Hubs on Break Ups & How To Get An Ex Back.
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Is your ex girlfriend seeing someone else? Read this hub to learn how your ex seeing someone else may work to your advantage.
- Tips on How to Get Through a Break Up and Get Over a Heartbreak
Recently gone through a heart wrenching break up? Read this article to learn some powerful tips on how to get through a break up and get over a heartbreak.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.