Stupid Thing To Do

It was a stupid, stupid thing to do

Wasn't it?

It was the momentary decision that would rule the rest of my life

It was the moment that changed history

And it has come back to haunt me ever since

I sit up at night, unable to sleep

I don't want to leave the house

If I'm out, I don't want to come back

I want so badly to pick up the phone

I was driving the other day and crying

I've had practice with that

And I looked over at the passenger seat

I wanted to see you there, to talk to you

Just like in the movies

But you're gone, you're not coming back

I wanted, I wanted everything

I want everything, I want you back

I want to stop crying and to understand

I want you to forgive me for not seeing what was right in front of me

I want to go back and bug the nurses and the doctors and do it right this time

When you ask me to help you, I want to know how

What to do

I want you to open your eyes and your heart to beat

I want you to breath and to yell at me and tell me how stupid I was

It was a stupid thing to do

To give my heart to you

And I know you will never truly leave me

But I also know you will never come back

I miss you more than I can say

There are no words

No one can prepare someone for this

And I need to know you forgive me

Because I cannot forgive myself

It was a really stupid thing to do

Wasn't it?

copyright (C) 2012 christopher w neal all rights reserved