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Top Ten Things You Never Want To Hear...

Updated on December 15, 2011
Oops...
Oops...

The Oops five…

5) Oops… (From your barber)

4) Oops… (From your accountant)

3) Oops… (From your dentist)

2) Oops… (From your proctologist)

1) Oops… (From a rabbi)


Go Ahead, crush me!
Go Ahead, crush me!

The “We need to talk” five…

5) “Lincoln, we need to talk…”

      (From the boss)

4) “Sit down, Chris, we need to talk…”

      (From the doctor)

3) “Honey, we need to talk…”

      (From your girlfriend)

2) “We need to talk…Now!”

      (From your wife)

1) Dear Sir, we need to talk…”

      (From the IRS)


And the bonus this week is...

“Son, we need to talk…”

(From your mom…)


Dear Hub Reader


If you enjoy this hub, please check out my book,

Homo Domesticus; A Life Interrupted By Housework,

A collection of my best writings woven into a narrative on a very strange year in my life.

Available directly from:

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/homo-domesticus/12217500

Chris


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    • quicklysilver profile image

      quicklysilver 6 years ago from wexford, ireland

      Thanks Chris, I'm glad I joined.

    • ChrisLincoln profile image
      Author

      ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      quicklysilver,

      Good ones! Welcome to hubpages and thanks for the follow. Lot of great, funny, interesting people here.

      Chris

    • quicklysilver profile image

      quicklysilver 6 years ago from wexford, ireland

      Opps - From your wife holding your car keys.

      A few days later -'We need to talk' - From Police Officer in the Missing People department

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      lmbo!

      Ok, Ok, definitely need the electric shock, but I can't help myself

      "Dad we need to talk" from your sixteen year old daughter holding the car keys.

      (although, in fairness, that wouldn't be nearly as bad as your scenario-unless, of course, the car that went with the keys was a Porsche.)

      And thanks for the recommendation. I may never get where I'm going, but it sure is fun traveling!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image
      Author

      ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Suziecat7,

      Got any to add?

      I thought of a nightmare scenario...

      "Dad, we need to talk..." from your sixteen year old daughter.

      Chris

    • suziecat7 profile image

      suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

      Too funny - thanks for the giggles.

    • ChrisLincoln profile image
      Author

      ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      sueroy,

      Even if no-one else reads our stuff, we have the best mutual admiration club going on here. I'll laugh at yours if you'll laugh at mine...

      (I've suggested to some of my faithful followers that they need to check your site out)

      We probably need large helpings of therapy, with a side of electro-shock to go...

      Chris

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      # 6 oops (from your pilot)

      "We need to talk" from the same pilot.

      Love the list!

      Thanks, again for the laugh. You never fail to deliver!