The Hope of the Dying Trilogy

Poem

Death camped outside the door of my soul,

     Not taking me but affecting my own.

I don't think to look for reasons why.

      For there are no reasons why love must die.

But still, we are called to love again.

      We must invest our love, our souls for friends.

I see, I watch as those around do cry.

      I see, I watch and understand their eyes.

First read "Death Camped outside my Door" then "The Hope of the Dying." Then finally read "The Unknown Flower." These three should really be read together. There is a certain progression to the spiritual journey in these.  I did not understand at the time that God set these events in order for his plan for my future.

APG

Bitter are the turns of life.

     That's what I understand.

The band of gold that hangs about my neck,

      Should grace the finger of my mother's hand.

 

But the ashes of my mother

      Lie in the ashes of her life.

Pain is all the thief has left.

      All I have is ashes for their strife.

 

So, I curse my own not knowing,

     And cry my tears of pain.

That is all that's left me.

     Nothing shall ever be the same.

 

Don't ask me where is hope

     For my soul cannot know.

Still my spirit cries within me.

     "You know you can't let go!"

 

So, I strive with nothing to hold me,

     As if falling through a bottomless pit.

I strive with no light to guide me.

     My life has become a crypt.

 

But perhaps the Lord can find me,

     As He did the maniac of old.

He could cast away the demons

     That so tightly hold my soul.

 

Thus I wait in hurt and sorrow,

     Steeped in death and pain.

This is the hope that holds me,

     What is lost for Christ is gain.

 

by Andrew Grosjean 11-25-95

www.pastorandrew.ws

Part of this poem was also my friend's experience. My best friend at the time lost his one of his best friends.  The friend he lost would turn out to be the brother of his future wife. He was killed in a car accident. Then my mom's (and our) house was arsoned on devil's night, just a few months after she died. Notice the line, the ashes of my mother lie in the ashes of her life. Her ashes were in the house and were lost in the fire.

But what I did not understand at the time of writing was that God's perfect course for my life would not have happened if she did not pass when she did. My life is what it is because of that loss, that arson, and so on.

God brings beauty out of ashes.

APG

There is an unknown flower growing on my mother's grave.  In her death, God has planted a plant in my life.  I do not know what that plant is, or what fragrence its flower gives, or what its fruit will be.  So, I simply trust His plan.  And I will care for this new plant He has put in my life . . . this new path he has put in my life.  Thus, This year is the year of the unknown flower.

This little writing was a follow up to two other poems.

Incidentally, the unknown flower on my mother's grave is a figure of my future love and marriage to my wonderful wife. I did not understand at the time that God set these events in order because He knew I would not have married Glenda but for this course of events.  When I wrote of the "unknown flower" at first, what I meant was that I knew there was something changing in my life.  I could see God doing something.  I did not realize how these things di work together for my good until many years later.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to
them who are the called according to [his] purpose."

APG