The Limbo Inn ~ Short Story Fiction
The Limbo Inn
The day after I died, I was visited by a door-to-door salesman. You’d think in the afterlife, people like that wouldn't exist. If you had asked me when I was alive if salesmen, lawyers, and telemarketers could still bother you when you were dead, I’d have said no! In fact, I would have bet you my grandma’s ruby red cocktail ring that what those people found after death was a never-ending phone call of people saying ‘NO!’ over and over and over!
Anyway, he did visit me at my hotel room. Just a few short hours earlier, I had been given room 13 at the Limbo Inn and I was trying to relax, but here comes Joe Salesman trying to sell me something. Which really didn't make sense. I had no money. I didn’t even have pockets to put money in as I was issued a pretty white frock upon check-in.
“Could I interest you in the deluxe edition of our new book?" he cooed.
I looked down at his hands and there he held a plain brown book. No cover or pretty picture. Just plain brown. The red lettering read: 10 Tips For A Smooth Transition. I smiled politely and closed the door.
Deluxe edition my a-hole, I thought. It was brown! I laughed and went back to watching I Love Lucy.
I slept soundly for who knows how long, when suddenly I awoke to a loud horn. It wasn't a car horn or fog horn, but it was more like a trumpet. At a lower volume, it might have been pretty, but at the volume they were playing it at, it was downright obnoxious!
I went to the door and stepped out into the cool air. The sky was covered with glowing blue lights. Like a million tiny Christmas tree lights. The sight was breathtaking. I made my way to the motel office and looked for the clerk. Of course he was nowhere in sight! Probably heating up Hot-Pockets in the back!
I stepped back outside and watched the remaining blue orbs float up towards the sky. I thought I saw one coming from the back of the motel, but I’m sure that was just my eyes playing tricks on me.
On my way back to my room, I spied a copy of the book the salesman had been trying to hawk. It was just sitting on the ground like someone had been reading it and just got up and left it there. I picked it up.
"What To Do When You Hear The Call" was the name of the chapter. I scanned the page. “Place the frock in”...blah, blah, blah..."no more worries”...yada, yada, yada...”when you hear the horn”...bor-ing! This story didn’t even make sense! Who wrote this crap?
Wait, horn? The horn like I just heard? Where was everybody?
I sat down on the sidewalk and began to read. This time, word for word.
“What To Do When You Hear The Call”
By now, you should have accepted your death and made peace with it. There is nothing for you to fear and you will have no more worries ever. Yes, I said ever. Your life is over, but this is only the beginning! You have so much to look forward to! More information will be provided to you in our next book entitled “10 Tips For A Glorious Afterlife!”. A representative will be around after you have settled in after the ascension. Remember, books are free of charge because we have no need for money! Everything is free forever and always!
The Call will be the sound of a trumpet. It will be a long and very loud call. Upon hearing this, you should immediately remove your frock. Place the frock in the top drawer of the nightstand and leave it there. Next, step outside and look up! We’ll do the rest. Easy, right? We look forward to seeing you after your trip, so don’t delay when you hear the call!
I dropped the book and looked up again. The sky was black. No blue lights in sight. I ran to the office again and there was no one. I went through every room in the motel. It was empty. Desolate. I was alone.
Now what do I do? I thought to myself as I made my way back to my room. At room 11 I looked up and into darkness. There was no room 12, 13 or beyond. Only black. It moved my way. I moved back. It moved faster. I ran. It ran. Now here I am with less than two feet remaining between myself and darkness all around. No worries, my ass! I look up and the prettiest blue light is falling down on me. Rays of blue looking like fingertips. I reach up.
Author's Note: I apologize to any salespersons, lawyers, and telemarketers that might have taken offense at my description of them. I'm sure there are some of you out there that don't try to make it a habit to call at dinnertime, try to beat me out of my last $20, or stay at my front door going on and on and on...