The Pearly White Gates To Heaven - Access Denied

As the little white light came to an end, I approached the big white gate. It was very similar to a wrought iron gate outside of a castle. Ironically, the parts leading away from the gate that should have been white fence was nothing more than big puffy white clouds.

So this was it. This is what happened after life. You approached this big white gate surrounded by clouds. I walked closer to the gate, keeping my eyes open for anybody, half expecting Saint Peter to be there waiting to greet me into heaven. But there I stood; nobody was around.

As I approached the front of the gate, I saw a touch screen computer. Confused, I went to the computer to see what it was for. Upon the screen was the words, “Instructions to get into Heaven.” Below was a button instructing me to push start.

I pushed the button and the first screen popped up asking me to put in my name and then push continue. A second screen popped up asking for my former address. On the next screen it asked for my previous job. Screen after screen came up. Some asking for personal information, others asking questions about my life, such as “how many times on average do you sin in a day?”

After standing there for what seemed like 3 hours, completing page after page, I started wondering if I would ever get into heaven. But then, the final page came up. In bold letters it asked me, “Are you ready for your final rest?” I pushed yes, anticipating the big pearly white gates to open. The computer screen started processing the pages upon pages worth of questions and data that I had just entered. I was excited - heaven awaits!

Suddenly the computer stopped processing. I looked at it with complete and udder annoyance. It seemed as if it was frozen. There was no restart button like the one I had at home. What could I do? Then, a message came up and said, “DENIED!” How could I have not been accepted? What have I done wrong with my life?

I felt a sharp shock in my chest. The pain shot through my entire body. Was this what it was like to go to hell? Everything started to turn red. I can’t believe I am going to spend eternity in hell! I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth flood my body. The heat passed from my heart down to my toes and back again. My heart beat faster and faster, like it was going to explode. The rush of adrenaline filled my head and I felt dizzy and blinded all at the same time.

The clouds were spinning and the pearly white gate was getting further and further away. I reached my arms out, trying to grab something - anything - with my outstretched hands. I didn’t want to leave this beautiful place. Yet, I sank down further and further and the heat continued to engulf my entire body!

I opened my eyes back up and saw two older gentlemen and a funny looking lady standing over me.

“It looks like she is coming back to us,” said the man in the mask.

“Ma’am, you’ve been in a terrible car accident. You’ve been out for five minutes. We are now on our way to the County Hospital,” he said. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of you.”

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