The Struggle With Depression - a poem

The Struggle With Depression

Some days I really struggle with depression

I know it won't last,

I know this depression will pass

And I know I will thrive

But still...

Some days I feel stuck;

Stuck in my mind,

Stuck in the pit of my depression

It's hard to be positive on days like this

When I go to bed,

I hope and pray that I'm happier in the morning,

But sometimes that doesn't happen

Some days I wake up feeling the exact same way as I did the night before:

Depressed,

Worthless,

Heartbroken;

I wake up feeling burdened

Feeling as if I'm locked back in the cage that swings to and fro in darkness

I rise from my bed and

I stand up feeling a massive weight on my shoulders

I hate feeling this way

I hate feeling depressed and worthless

I just wish this depression would leave me for good

I wish happiness would stay and

My depression would flee

And never return

But I know life isn't like that

Life isn't always fair

You always don't get what you want

And life isn't easy and smooth-sailing

I hate my depression so much

I hate when I feel trapped in my mind;

The feeling of confusion, paranoia, and uncertainty

The uncomfortable feeling of my racing thoughts

I hate the feeling in my stomach

I hate the weight I feel on my shoulders

I hate the weight I feel in my chest

I hate the feeling in my throat;

The feeling of wanting to cry but unable to

The feeling of dry tears coming from my eyes

But even though I have my own depressed, bad days

I gotta hold onto the hope I have found

The hope that I will grow and thrive

The hope that I can help others

The hope that my God will work everything out for my good

This hope is the only thing that saves me

This hope keeps me going

This hope gives me the ability to endure and carry on

I know with patience and perseverance I'll be alright

-Nick Wolf 1/28/2014