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"One More Time"

Updated on March 20, 2018
Bk42author profile image

Brenda Thornlow is an author from the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, New York.

I’ve heard it said “we become sad in the first place because we have nothing stirring to do.” I believe this was said by Herman Melville. I also believe this to be true, as it seems that is when I think about it all. Where you are, what would have been, if you are thinking the same thing at the same moment.

How is one expected to move forward when there are reminders everywhere? How is one to move on when the reminders push their way through the very moment you stop to breathe?

It’s at those moments...those moments when I stop to breathe that I find myself going out of my way to look at your picture and open the wound again. I sometimes wonder if a part of me likes feeling that pain. If this isn’t true, then why would I go out of my way to look one more time? Each time is always “one more time.”

Not stopping. Not stopping for one moment is the only way to stop hurting myself. The only way to keep from asking where you are, what would have been, if you are thinking the same thing at the same moment.

It was during that last “one more time” when I saw what could have been. When I saw you standing there with a smile I had never seen before. At least never with me. It was during that last time when I decided I wasn’t going to allow myself to feel the hurt anymore. I finally realized…finally saw for myself that you were no longer feeling it, feeling the pain I seem to inflict on myself. That is, if you were ever feeling it in the first place.

So for now, I will keep myself from stopping to breathe.


(c) 2014 Brenda Thornlow

To read more of Brenda Thornlow's work go to her Amazon page:

© 2014 Brenda Thornlow

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    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you so much, Suzette! It's so nice to meet you as well! :)

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      4 years ago from Taos, NM

      Great read and so well written. I think many of us can relate to this story. I know I have had difficult times getting over a loved one. I take this as a short story, but it also could be an essay. I really like your writing style as well. Welcome to hub pages and so nice to meet you here.

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you Ariel-Cal!

    • Ariel-Cal profile image

      Evelia Veronica Rivera 

      4 years ago from Bridgeport, CT

      voted up!

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Seems like we get stuck and are afraid to move on even tho we know its for the best. Thank you Jodah! Have a great day!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      "Just one more time"...over and over again. Why does t take us so long to move on? Good writing as always. Voted up.

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you, Nell Rose! So glad you enjoyed!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      4 years ago from England

      Yes its amazing the pain we put ourselves through dreaming or sighing over a lost love only to find that they forgot about us ages ago! great hub!

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you so much, Faith! :) Have a wonderful weekend!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      4 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent reflective piece here! You are a wonderful writer and express yourself well. I could feel the pain of "One More Time" ... Up and more, pinning and tweeting

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you, DDE! Have a great weekend!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great thoughts here and you will get what you want if you keep on at it.

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you, Billy!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a very good writer and will only improve in time. Very nice job!

    • THarman7 profile image

      Terry Harman 

      4 years ago from Lacey Washington

      Life is good! Thanks for asking!

    • Bk42author profile imageAUTHOR

      Brenda Thornlow 

      4 years ago from New York

      Thank you THarman7! Hope all is well!

    • THarman7 profile image

      Terry Harman 

      4 years ago from Lacey Washington

      This reminds me of what I had gone through with a past love interest! Great Hub as always!

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