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This Lady is a Tramp!
This Lady is a Tramp
Be tactful and polite dear - sit up straight with shoulders back,
Control that naughty urge to pun - lay off sarcastic cracks!
If I could keep my mouth shut, smile pretty - bite my tongue,
On that dumb-ass social ladder - I might just climb a rung!
Don't pick your teeth in public, the same goes for the nose,
It's not about ones comfort - it's how well one strikes a pose!
Don't speak of things like politics, religion - or of sex!
Feign interest in the most mundane - don't interrupt or text!
Laugh discreetly is the rule - don't snort, guffaw, or squeal!
Always act the lady - well-mannered and genteel.
We wouldn't want to shock, the stuffy and pretentious,
They'd label us as troublesome, ill-mannered - and contentious!
My very best behavior - would annoy Miss Emily Post,
A truth I need not ponder - as one can't offend a ghost!
Being demure and ladylike - means I'd never lose a friend,
Speaking plainly to the crux - rarely helps a girl to blend!
It's not that I'm oblivious - to these high falootin' ways,
Yet whenever I attempt them - my eyes begin to glaze!
I came up on the wrong side - left with nothing far too young,
Missed the part that taught that it's best to hold your tongue!
Filters are for oil changes - only windows need a screen!
Rough around the edges - Shan't be lunching with the Queen.
Passing gas is frowned upon - just soldier through that cramp,
I've naught achieved such self-control - This Lady is a Tramp!
A Few Other I'mKar'n23 Ditties...
- Christmas and Constipation...
'Tis the Season to be Sluggish..Tra la la la la...
- Endomorph Body Type: Ode to The Endomorph...
The Endomorph too seldom sees the beauty of her wares, Discounting all the compliments, the whistles and the stares!
- Women Wanna SPOON - Men Wanna FORK ALL KNIFE...
Where females crave SECURITY - Companionship for LIFE, Men fantasize the woman - Who BEGS to FORK ALL KNIFE...
- FOREPLAY: The INS and The OUTS...
You've heard it before boys - straight from her heart, There's work to be done 'fore those legs come apart...