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Top Ten Reasons To Not Get A Dog...
Top ten reasons to not get a dog (and I’ve owned a few, loved them all, but…)
10 Jealousy. Your cat will go psycho. (Oh, you think its psycho now, but just you wait…)
9 Aroma. Everything you own will immediately smell of dog (car, sofa, inside of fridge…)
8 Shedding. Every item of clothing will have dog hairs on it (Fact, a ten pound dog sheds nine pounds of hair a day…)
7 Property Rights. You no longer own anything (Unless you “mark” it first…)
6 Digestion. Everything is either edible or a challenge (Can’t eat it? don’t stop chewing yet…)
5 Expense. Vet bills (makes the divorce look like it saved you money…)
4 Food. All food is, in fact, dog food (Fact, a ten pound dog eats nine pounds of food a day…it balances the hair thing)
3 Drink. Your toilet is now a refreshment center (You did flush didn’t you…)
2 Licking. No discernment in the licking department (his butt, that dead thing in the alley, your face…)
1 Intelligence. Purebred or Mongrel, the dog is smarter than you. You don’t see him picking up your poop every week do you? Rushing off to work to make sure you are fed? Grooming you? Who exactly is the master, and who is the pet…
And this weeks bonus reason...
Freeloading. You remember that guy in college, the one who lived on your couch, ate your food, stole your clothes, and damaged your stuff. Well, you just bought him home for the next twelve to fifteen years…
Dear Hub Reader
If you enjoy this hub, please check out my book,
Homo Domesticus; A Life Interrupted By Housework,
A collection of my best writings woven into a narrative on a very strange year in my life.
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