ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Top Ten Reasons To Vote The Family Dog President

Updated on October 16, 2008
Oh to the be the Top Dog!
Oh to the be the Top Dog!
Hey, I'm the Vice Dog! Ya got a problim wi dat?
Hey, I'm the Vice Dog! Ya got a problim wi dat?
 

In a political season such as our current one, sometimes it seems the most logical thing to do is just vote for your favorite animal of choice.

I like dogs so let's choose one.

After all, write-in votes still count, don't they? And besides, voting for the family dog (or someone else's dog for that matter) can willfully be considered therapy. Allow me to explain.

You're having a great water cooler conversation with Bill from accounting when out of the blue comes the question. "So, who's your choice for designated spear catcher, oh I mean president, this November?" Now typically, such interrogations can divide even the best of friends, or offices, but not this time. You're prepared. Big time!

"Thanks for asking Bill, I'm voting for Super Cheeks." -- You clandestinely smile as you wait for his reply.

"Who?"

"Super Cheeks. He's the family beagle terrier mix."

You smile again. --- Silence...

"Sooooper Cheeeeks," you cheerfully reiterate.

More silence...

Anyway, you get the picture.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy throwing political barbs like everyone else but this year is shaping into a sea of utter chaos; so I'm making a statement and backing it up -- with the following.

(Insert drum roll please)

Here are my top ten, loosely-stated reasons to vote for the family dog this November.

# 10: By the time he (or she) reaches qualified age requirements, term limits probably won't apply.

# 9: Since there are no corners (and every dog needs their corners), the oval office could be rented, leased, or used as a coffee bar.

# 8: Foreign policy becomes a simple tail wag and lick of the hand.

# 7: Think of all the money saved on secret service protection for life.

# 6: How hard is it to disagree with a friendly bark and paw shake.

# 5: The Westminster Dog Show becomes a national holiday.

# 4: After all, it is a dog eat dog world out there.

# 3: Political pundits silenced due to the lack of non-discernible sound bytes.

# 2: Nationwide mandatory naps, at least 3 a day.

AND FINALLY...

#1: Our commander in chief doesn't take offence to be called... well... a dog!

Happy Election Day! Go Vote for the candidate of choice!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • In The Doghouse profile image

      In The Doghouse 9 years ago from California

      I guess the president would then reside "In The Doghouse", correct? lol

    • amy jane profile image

      amy jane 9 years ago from Connecticut

      Love it! :)

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 9 years ago from Midwest USA

      Thanks amy jane and in the doghouse for your kind comments! The list may have to expand to 10 1/2 reasons to include the fantastic "In the Doghouse" comment. That is hilarious!

    • Constant Walker profile image

      Constant Walker 9 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

      Fun. Letterman should run it as a "Top 10 List."

    • profile image

      lily 8 years ago

      Hey thats cool

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 7 years ago from home

      You forgot, if a dog was president there would be allot more fire hydrants although I don't think her majesty Athe Queen of England would like getting her *ahem* or kmadinijahd *sp* and wait he already gives that to him now although the queen she might just like it better than the ipod.,...

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 7 years ago from Midwest USA

      Tom: Thanks for dropping by and adding to the conversation!

    • profile image

      seedplanter 5 years ago

      Thanks for the laugh! Love the bit about the dog show becoming a national holiday. Why not? We've shifted all the presidential holidays around to the point their own moms wouldn't recognize their birth dates. I really enjoyed this hub. Funny guy.

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 5 years ago from Midwest USA

      Thanks seedplanter for dropping by and for the nice comment. Yes, it seems as though next year we'll be asking ourselves the same question: can't I just vote for the family furry.

    Click to Rate This Article