ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Top Ten Reasons To Vote The Family Dog President

Updated on October 16, 2008
Oh to the be the Top Dog!
Oh to the be the Top Dog!
Hey, I'm the Vice Dog! Ya got a problim wi dat?
Hey, I'm the Vice Dog! Ya got a problim wi dat?
 

In a political season such as our current one, sometimes it seems the most logical thing to do is just vote for your favorite animal of choice.

I like dogs so let's choose one.

After all, write-in votes still count, don't they? And besides, voting for the family dog (or someone else's dog for that matter) can willfully be considered therapy. Allow me to explain.

You're having a great water cooler conversation with Bill from accounting when out of the blue comes the question. "So, who's your choice for designated spear catcher, oh I mean president, this November?" Now typically, such interrogations can divide even the best of friends, or offices, but not this time. You're prepared. Big time!

"Thanks for asking Bill, I'm voting for Super Cheeks." -- You clandestinely smile as you wait for his reply.

"Who?"

"Super Cheeks. He's the family beagle terrier mix."

You smile again. --- Silence...

"Sooooper Cheeeeks," you cheerfully reiterate.

More silence...

Anyway, you get the picture.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy throwing political barbs like everyone else but this year is shaping into a sea of utter chaos; so I'm making a statement and backing it up -- with the following.

(Insert drum roll please)

Here are my top ten, loosely-stated reasons to vote for the family dog this November.

# 10: By the time he (or she) reaches qualified age requirements, term limits probably won't apply.

# 9: Since there are no corners (and every dog needs their corners), the oval office could be rented, leased, or used as a coffee bar.

# 8: Foreign policy becomes a simple tail wag and lick of the hand.

# 7: Think of all the money saved on secret service protection for life.

# 6: How hard is it to disagree with a friendly bark and paw shake.

# 5: The Westminster Dog Show becomes a national holiday.

# 4: After all, it is a dog eat dog world out there.

# 3: Political pundits silenced due to the lack of non-discernible sound bytes.

# 2: Nationwide mandatory naps, at least 3 a day.

AND FINALLY...

#1: Our commander in chief doesn't take offence to be called... well... a dog!

Happy Election Day! Go Vote for the candidate of choice!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 6 years ago from Midwest USA

      Thanks seedplanter for dropping by and for the nice comment. Yes, it seems as though next year we'll be asking ourselves the same question: can't I just vote for the family furry.

    • profile image

      seedplanter 6 years ago

      Thanks for the laugh! Love the bit about the dog show becoming a national holiday. Why not? We've shifted all the presidential holidays around to the point their own moms wouldn't recognize their birth dates. I really enjoyed this hub. Funny guy.

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 8 years ago from Midwest USA

      Tom: Thanks for dropping by and adding to the conversation!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 8 years ago from home

      You forgot, if a dog was president there would be allot more fire hydrants although I don't think her majesty Athe Queen of England would like getting her *ahem* or kmadinijahd *sp* and wait he already gives that to him now although the queen she might just like it better than the ipod.,...

    • profile image

      lily 9 years ago

      Hey thats cool

    • Constant Walker profile image

      Constant Walker 9 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

      Fun. Letterman should run it as a "Top 10 List."

    • Rob Jundt profile image
      Author

      Rob Jundt 10 years ago from Midwest USA

      Thanks amy jane and in the doghouse for your kind comments! The list may have to expand to 10 1/2 reasons to include the fantastic "In the Doghouse" comment. That is hilarious!

    • amy jane profile image

      amy jane 10 years ago from Connecticut

      Love it! :)

    • In The Doghouse profile image

      In The Doghouse 10 years ago from California

      I guess the president would then reside "In The Doghouse", correct? lol

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)