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Top Ten Reasons To Vote The Family Dog President
In a political season such as our current one, sometimes it seems the most logical thing to do is just vote for your favorite animal of choice.
I like dogs so let's choose one.
After all, write-in votes still count, don't they? And besides, voting for the family dog (or someone else's dog for that matter) can willfully be considered therapy. Allow me to explain.
You're having a great water cooler conversation with Bill from accounting when out of the blue comes the question. "So, who's your choice for designated spear catcher, oh I mean president, this November?" Now typically, such interrogations can divide even the best of friends, or offices, but not this time. You're prepared. Big time!
"Thanks for asking Bill, I'm voting for Super Cheeks." -- You clandestinely smile as you wait for his reply.
"Super Cheeks. He's the family beagle terrier mix."
You smile again. --- Silence...
"Sooooper Cheeeeks," you cheerfully reiterate.
Anyway, you get the picture.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoy throwing political barbs like everyone else but this year is shaping into a sea of utter chaos; so I'm making a statement and backing it up -- with the following.
(Insert drum roll please)
Here are my top ten, loosely-stated reasons to vote for the family dog this November.
# 10: By the time he (or she) reaches qualified age requirements, term limits probably won't apply.
# 9: Since there are no corners (and every dog needs their corners), the oval office could be rented, leased, or used as a coffee bar.
# 8: Foreign policy becomes a simple tail wag and lick of the hand.
# 7: Think of all the money saved on secret service protection for life.
# 6: How hard is it to disagree with a friendly bark and paw shake.
# 5: The Westminster Dog Show becomes a national holiday.
# 4: After all, it is a dog eat dog world out there.
# 3: Political pundits silenced due to the lack of non-discernible sound bytes.
# 2: Nationwide mandatory naps, at least 3 a day.
#1: Our commander in chief doesn't take offence to be called... well... a dog!
Happy Election Day! Go Vote for the candidate of choice!