WHILE REDEEMING MY SOUL: Chapter 6 - Salvation From Bedlam
Chapter 6: Salvation From Bedlam:
My father was one of those victims; my ancestors may be one digit number adding into those statistics. But there were literally millions of people who suffered because of the independence of their homeland, because of the fact that one day our nation may live in open atmosphere and can feel and breath independence and the coming generations may be thankful to the ancestors that made such huge sacrifices of their properties, their loved ones and even of their own lives. But unfortunately their hope, their wish was nothing more than a waste. They wished for the betterment of such a nation, who never wanted to be independent, who can never actually feel independence. We are the sufferers and we are the cause of it too. Evidences are all around us. What happened to 27th December 2007 and after it is a proof of how uncivilized and unthankful are us. We don’t know what independence really means, how it was achieved. We burnt our property, our people, killed our fellows for no reason. There was not any need of it. This was not the way to protest. That is why I said, the murderers are within ourselves now. If people would have been selfish as we are now, we would never have tasted independence. They would have never sacrificed anything for it, anything for us. We should realize it as soon as possible, and respect this feeling of being independent and should be proud and protect the integrity, the honesty, and the love for this country.
I still feel ashamed I did not realize it unless I started to race towards my death; until I read my father’s diary. But inside myself, I still feel proud of being a son of such an honorable father who did contribute, by one way or another, in the independence of this country. And as soon as I realized that what I have done my whole life, it changed my way of thinking. The only thing I regret is that I found this diary in the last years of my life. To bring justice to those people who suffered because of me, I held a press conference and told everyone what the real truth was, behind that accident. This, I feel, is the least stage of humanity that at least we accept the crime that we do. I made hundreds of corruptions in my businesses. One of them decided my fate. I built a bridge with low quality, used lesser quality steel and bearings just to fill my pockets with a little more unfair bucks, but that bridge fell down and it killed 17 people with its fall. I gave bribes to the responsible investigative authorities, they molded the truth, and I was free of all charges. But then I realized it should not be the way. I committed a crime, so I have to admit it too. Now I am in a prison cell. Now my wife has informed me that on my will, she sold another house of mine that was located in the countryside and now the families of those 17 people that died in the accident have been reimbursed by the sale proceeds. This was the least I could do for them, who suffered only because of me. I did what seemed right to me, I also disclosed those officers who took bribe from me, as it was my duty as a son of this nation. While doing that, I always remembered a quote that my father told me when I was young.
“The prisoner is not the one who has committed a crime, but the one who clings to his crime and lives it over and over.” - (Henry Miller)