WIN TODAY!!!

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#This song is meant to be a defiant shout out against naysayers/ doubters/ etc. in my life (namely my doctors). The light font represents direct quotes hurled at me throughout the years. This is all very real and terribly frustrating! I'm f-ckin' tired of overcoming and proving the world wrong! All I want is a little support and HELP! The lines and words in this poem which are parenthesized are meant to be Memphis May Fire- type "screams". And the double parenthesis takes this to another level! It means the word is meant to be a deep, bass-like roar/ growl. Understand, I'm not really an angry man, (anymore) but I still remember. I can't let it go! It won't let go of ME! So I can still drum up a little frustration and rage sometimes;) #

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I thought you were my only confidant

The only one who has a clue

Of the Hell that I face, of what I go through

I thought you were here to lead me back

To encourage and to Strengthen me

So why tear me down, why make me feel weak?

"You cannot make this go away,”

“I’m sorry. This is Chronic- it will never be over”,

“Consider it Success if you might become “Average”

“The best you can hope for is to Manage the Pain”

“What you say is within you, may not be so Special….

….. I’m afraid you may overestimate yourself”

"This is A WAR THAT YOU CAN- NOT- WIN”!!

Why do you persist to lower my aim?

Why keep trying to make me expect less?

I bet you think you have me cased out,

That you’ve helped out others who were just like me

That I exaggerate my Hell and I conceived my Dream

(YOU COULD NOT BE MORE ((WRONG!!!))

You have the power to break the curse of a king

You would always be known for loosing my chains

But instead you just preach, as if you even know

The virtues of routine, of safety, of accountability

(Well Forget routine!)

(Forget the Norm!)

(Forget Survival!.....

(…..Why won’t you teach me to WIN!!)

Because I KNOW!!!

How great things SHOULD be and the way this WILL go

And the day that I settle for less

(Is the day that I ((DIE!))

“Y’know you’re lucky just to be alive"

"You must learn to be proud of the best you can do"

"You’ve done more than we all thought you could"

"A man can only change his expectations or results….

….And I’m afraid that you can’t do much more"

"I just wish you could just find some peace with yourself”

(FAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

(Don’t you talk down to ((ME!!))

I’ll make you (KNOW) when this curse finally breaks

I will NEVER lose, but I JUST CAN-NOT WIN!!

OH MY GOD! -(This f-cking War is just TOO big!!”)

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(^^^GOD speaks…)

“SON, I HAVE HEARD YOUR CRIES, AND YOU ARE CORRECT

THE WAR THAT YOU FACE IS TOO BIG FOR ANY MAN

BUT YOU WERE CREATED IN MY IMAGE, AND BY MY AURA. (Genesis 1:27)

IN A MOMENT OF ANGER, I TURNED MY FACE AWAY (Isaiah 54:7-8)

YOU HAVE DRAINED TO THE DREGS THE GOBLET THAT MAKES MEN STAGGER (Isaiah.51:17)

YOU WERE LEFT FOR THE DEVIL BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE STRONG*** (Job 1:12)

BUT BACK THEN NOT AS STRONG AS I NEED YOU TO BE

BEFORE YOU WERE BORN, I HAD CALLED YOU BY NAME (Isaiah.49:1)

SINCE BIRTH, I HAVE MADE MENTION OF YOUR NAME

NOW YOU WILL RULE WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND HELP GATHER MY FLOCK (Isaiah 52:1-3)

AS I AM THE LORD, YOU ARE ENGRAVED ON MY PALMS (Isaiah 49:16)

I AM WITHIN YOU, DO NOT FEAR WHAT WILL BE (Luke 17:21)

YOU CANNOT DEFEAT TOMORROW— (Matt. 6:34)

INSTEAD WIN TODAY”

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(This is MY LIFE!!!)

And That’s how I KNOW!!!

How great things SHOULD be and the way this WILL go

And the day that I settle for less

(Is the day that I ((DIE!))

IT IS NEVER TOMORROW,

I WILL WIN ((TODAY!!!))

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***”You were left for the Devil because I knew you were strong”= (supporting resource: Pastor John MacArthur: “Delivered to Satan Pt.1”) =this is a dynamic and eye-opening sermon about God turning some of his most chosen people over, (such as Job, Peter, Jesus, Paul, and Paul’s guidance for the Church) literally into the hands of Satan for refining, strengthening, teaching, sometimes reprimanding, and even making a Cosmic point to the realms of the Angelic and Demonic.

--I literally shed a tear when I listened to this message, which spoke to me that ‘Yes, there likely IS a reason for the bull-shive that I’ve gone through for over a decade”. It points me back to a poem that I myself wrote a few years ago, “Winner”, when I state: “Each of us will face our strife, that’s why the Winner’s flame’s so hot!” So maybe I already knew. Maybe I already knew that, Yes, There IS an end to the current torment and that great blessings are waiting to nourish me back to health. (and much more!!!)