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Wafflemancer Part 3

Updated on September 28, 2013


Last time we learned that our Silver-haired mystery is a witch and a necromancer capable of bringing back the dead. Now John is mystically bound to stay by her side or die again! John also now knows that the men responsible for his death were working for Poseidon Goods, a company with a vested interest in seeing Lilith dead.

Part 3

“Excuse me, yonder boy! It seems I need a refill on my coffee!”

Lilith would yell for a refill when I'm slammed with a room full of drunk assholes after the bar is closed. Well she was going to have to wait dammit. One of our server's had disappeared on us so it was just me and Vince, a friend that worked with me. Three of his friends like to come up and chill with us at work when it's slow. Needless to say they did us the courtesy of not coming in when we were swamped like this. But not Lilith, no. Granted, if she gets too far away from me I die. Literally. But, she didn't have to bother us like she did and it didn't help that she would only accept service from me.

Lilith and I had been staying in her shit hole for about a week. I still wasn't sure if I wanted her to know where I lived. Which meant that if I liked living, her shit hole it was. She had been on the move since she was, like, fourteen. I don't know how she put up with that kinda shit. If I had crazy magic powers like her I think I could have done a lot better for myself. She had her reasons though. Like the crazy thieves guild mafia creeps that are always on the look out for her.

Still can't believe that. Poseidon Goods, one of the largest companies in America, is a front for some kind of supernatural mob lead by fish people of all things. The more questions I asked, the crazier the answers seem to be, so I had been keeping a lid on it. Thus, the week had been going pretty smoothly. Well, aside from Lilith annoying the piss out of me.

Once the place calmed down and Vince went outside to meet up with his crew and light up, I refilled Lilith's coffee. She was obviously pissed that I'd waited so long to get to her, but for some reason she held back her trademark venom.

“It's about time we had a break. I hate cooking for that crowd.” The small talk was honestly just a reflex. Something ingrained in me in my days as a server fishing for tips.

“Was it really necessary to wait until every single person left before you could wait on me?”

“Gosh, I'm sorry baby girl. I was just waiting so I could focus all of my attention on you.” The rage that lit up her face at the pet name was priceless. She absolutely hated it when I called her that. I wasn't too overly fond of the way she insisted on calling me hero. So as long as she kept it up, so would I. The sarcastic flirtation was just to add icing to the cake, so to speak. Despite this, she continued to hold back. Something was up.

“Dear, God. What's wrong now?” She spilled the sugar she was pouring into her black coffee. The fatalism in my voice apparently caught her off guard.

“What? What do you mean?” Her expression was genuinely puzzled. Not something I see every day.

“Despite my obvious barbs, you're not chewing my head off. That's too unlike you, something's up.” She cast her eyes away at the accusation.

“What, so you prefer I not be nice to you? I can do that.” She was dodging. It was plain as day. When it came to the supernatural, as horrible as the stuff she told me was, the stuff she didn't tell me scared me more.

“That's not an answer. I have friends here, Lilith. If you get them wrapped up in some of your supernatural bullshit--”

“You'll do what exactly?” She interrupted. “Remember I am the necromancer, and you are the servant. I am here so you don't have to lose your precious social life, or what little there is. But at any moment should I choose to leave, you must follow or die.” Her squinted glare was infuriating. How dare she walk into my life and start dictating how I live it.

Well, maybe because she saved that life? I set aside the fury she stirred in me, in honor of the debt that I owed her. Doesn't mean I had to like her though. Vince and his crew asked me all the time why I put up with her. I couldn't just tell them that it was because I was her familiar and I couldn't leave her side without dying. Which also meant that I couldn't tell them about the whole 'I died' thing. I mean, how could they understand it when I barely did and I was the one who it was happening to? All of this meant that if I wanted answers I would have to get them before anyone else came back in the store.

“I just want to know what's wrong. I know firsthand how dangerous your life, Our lives are. I just don't want anyone else to get hurt because of us, ok?” The sincerity seemed to make a dent in her armor. She faltered for a moment. Just a moment. An expression of worry, a fear that she didn't want to express. And just as fast as it was there, it was gone. Made me wonder if I'd seen it at all. Maybe I was just paranoid and imagining things.

“Nothing is wrong and even if something were to go wrong, your friends would not become involved. We are a part of a secret society now, hero. It stays secret for a reason.” Comforting. On the surface at least. It still left room for something wrong to happen, perhaps in the very near future. But Vince was coming back in the store, so I let it drop.

Some people believe that the more you expect something to happen, the more likely it is to happen. Well, as the night rolled on, I was becoming more and more certain that something supernatural was about to happen, and soon. Lilith was actually distant and reserved. She barely called me over to her for the rest of my shift. It was just as soon as we were pulling out of the Waffle House and heading towards her shit hole that I realized that shit was finally about to hit the fan.

“We can't go this way. We have to find a new home.” Stunned, I pulled over into the gas station across the street.

“What exactly do you mean we have to find a new home?” The look on my face, I hope, conveyed the seriousness of my question.

“My … magic says it's not safe. Something is waiting for us. We have to go somewhere else.” Perfect, just perfect, was my immediate thought. I knew something was wrong.

“Great so what the fuck do we do now.” My head rested firmly against the steering wheel.

“We move. Go somewhere else.” Her tone was flat and resolute. There was no arguing with it. It just was. Well I was sure glad it was so easy for her, but it was a little more complicated for me.

“Someone would file a missing persons report. We can't run around with both your scary ninja assassin dudes and the police chasing us. We gotta figure out how to lure them away. Make this place safe.”

“Settle down.” She offered. After all that time bouncing from place to place the concept must have seemed entirely foreign to her. She appeared as though she didn't know if she was okay with the idea or not. She just sat there quietly, contemplating. After a while of twiddling my thumbs, she finally spoke up.

“I might know a way. I know some muscle that owes me a favor. Maybe they can throw them off of us.”

Muscle. I didn't like the sound of that one bit. Of course, supernatural hit men waiting for us in her shit hole sounded even less appealing. And after this, she was definitely not coming to my apartment.

“Ok, What do we do?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

“You do nothing. I take my things into that private bathroom over there and I make the call. You wait here.” She grabbed a chalice and her sharp white object from the backseat. After a little time with her I eventually learned that not only was that thing her spell casting wand, but it was also made of bone. She called it her Athame.

“So wait here and let you do all the heavy lifting. I think not.” I tried to sound as cool and reliable as possible. But then she pulled out a packed bowl from my glove box. All that reliability went straight to hell. “Ok, so stay here and light up while you call for backup. Got it.” She actually smiled before she got out of the car. After sitting there, cheefing in the car for a while, she finally got back in the car with me.

“They're in. Pair of supes known for doing odd jobs. We crossed paths a year ago and as I said, they owe me. A leprechaun and a werewolf.” She paused to let that sink in. She didn't realize I was too high to care about any of that anymore. I just wanted to get this shit over with, go to bed, and pretend this was all a bad dream.

“Just tell me where to go and that you'll be able to handle us if they aren't friendly. I mean, you are the scary necromancer lady right?” She rolled her eyes. “I'm just sayin'. I'm just a zombie, right? I mean, what am I good for besides walking slowly, eating, and rotting?” I chuckled softly to myself. She didn't seem to find it as funny as I did. Too bad for her. I sighed and added “Just tell me where to go.”

She lead us to this middle of nowhere gas station, all the way out in the boonies. We pulled up to the tree line behind the main building, where we would be most hidden from view, and a bright light comes outta nowhere and I shit you not, three guys walk out of thin air in front of us. Like they just spawned in a video game. Our two contacts and some high school looking kid. The high school kid looked us once over and then stepped back into the nothing from whence they came.

I was too high for this shit.


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    • efeyas profile image

      efeyas 4 years ago from Some Sunny Beach, USA

      The very lasty line had me laughing out loud, hehe :D Voted up!