ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing

Wafflemancer Part 3

Updated on September 28, 2013


Last time we learned that our Silver-haired mystery is a witch and a necromancer capable of bringing back the dead. Now John is mystically bound to stay by her side or die again! John also now knows that the men responsible for his death were working for Poseidon Goods, a company with a vested interest in seeing Lilith dead.

Part 3

“Excuse me, yonder boy! It seems I need a refill on my coffee!”

Lilith would yell for a refill when I'm slammed with a room full of drunk assholes after the bar is closed. Well she was going to have to wait dammit. One of our server's had disappeared on us so it was just me and Vince, a friend that worked with me. Three of his friends like to come up and chill with us at work when it's slow. Needless to say they did us the courtesy of not coming in when we were swamped like this. But not Lilith, no. Granted, if she gets too far away from me I die. Literally. But, she didn't have to bother us like she did and it didn't help that she would only accept service from me.

Lilith and I had been staying in her shit hole for about a week. I still wasn't sure if I wanted her to know where I lived. Which meant that if I liked living, her shit hole it was. She had been on the move since she was, like, fourteen. I don't know how she put up with that kinda shit. If I had crazy magic powers like her I think I could have done a lot better for myself. She had her reasons though. Like the crazy thieves guild mafia creeps that are always on the look out for her.

Still can't believe that. Poseidon Goods, one of the largest companies in America, is a front for some kind of supernatural mob lead by fish people of all things. The more questions I asked, the crazier the answers seem to be, so I had been keeping a lid on it. Thus, the week had been going pretty smoothly. Well, aside from Lilith annoying the piss out of me.

Once the place calmed down and Vince went outside to meet up with his crew and light up, I refilled Lilith's coffee. She was obviously pissed that I'd waited so long to get to her, but for some reason she held back her trademark venom.

“It's about time we had a break. I hate cooking for that crowd.” The small talk was honestly just a reflex. Something ingrained in me in my days as a server fishing for tips.

“Was it really necessary to wait until every single person left before you could wait on me?”

“Gosh, I'm sorry baby girl. I was just waiting so I could focus all of my attention on you.” The rage that lit up her face at the pet name was priceless. She absolutely hated it when I called her that. I wasn't too overly fond of the way she insisted on calling me hero. So as long as she kept it up, so would I. The sarcastic flirtation was just to add icing to the cake, so to speak. Despite this, she continued to hold back. Something was up.

“Dear, God. What's wrong now?” She spilled the sugar she was pouring into her black coffee. The fatalism in my voice apparently caught her off guard.

“What? What do you mean?” Her expression was genuinely puzzled. Not something I see every day.

“Despite my obvious barbs, you're not chewing my head off. That's too unlike you, something's up.” She cast her eyes away at the accusation.

“What, so you prefer I not be nice to you? I can do that.” She was dodging. It was plain as day. When it came to the supernatural, as horrible as the stuff she told me was, the stuff she didn't tell me scared me more.

“That's not an answer. I have friends here, Lilith. If you get them wrapped up in some of your supernatural bullshit--”

“You'll do what exactly?” She interrupted. “Remember I am the necromancer, and you are the servant. I am here so you don't have to lose your precious social life, or what little there is. But at any moment should I choose to leave, you must follow or die.” Her squinted glare was infuriating. How dare she walk into my life and start dictating how I live it.

Well, maybe because she saved that life? I set aside the fury she stirred in me, in honor of the debt that I owed her. Doesn't mean I had to like her though. Vince and his crew asked me all the time why I put up with her. I couldn't just tell them that it was because I was her familiar and I couldn't leave her side without dying. Which also meant that I couldn't tell them about the whole 'I died' thing. I mean, how could they understand it when I barely did and I was the one who it was happening to? All of this meant that if I wanted answers I would have to get them before anyone else came back in the store.

“I just want to know what's wrong. I know firsthand how dangerous your life, Our lives are. I just don't want anyone else to get hurt because of us, ok?” The sincerity seemed to make a dent in her armor. She faltered for a moment. Just a moment. An expression of worry, a fear that she didn't want to express. And just as fast as it was there, it was gone. Made me wonder if I'd seen it at all. Maybe I was just paranoid and imagining things.

“Nothing is wrong and even if something were to go wrong, your friends would not become involved. We are a part of a secret society now, hero. It stays secret for a reason.” Comforting. On the surface at least. It still left room for something wrong to happen, perhaps in the very near future. But Vince was coming back in the store, so I let it drop.

Some people believe that the more you expect something to happen, the more likely it is to happen. Well, as the night rolled on, I was becoming more and more certain that something supernatural was about to happen, and soon. Lilith was actually distant and reserved. She barely called me over to her for the rest of my shift. It was just as soon as we were pulling out of the Waffle House and heading towards her shit hole that I realized that shit was finally about to hit the fan.

“We can't go this way. We have to find a new home.” Stunned, I pulled over into the gas station across the street.

“What exactly do you mean we have to find a new home?” The look on my face, I hope, conveyed the seriousness of my question.

“My … magic says it's not safe. Something is waiting for us. We have to go somewhere else.” Perfect, just perfect, was my immediate thought. I knew something was wrong.

“Great so what the fuck do we do now.” My head rested firmly against the steering wheel.

“We move. Go somewhere else.” Her tone was flat and resolute. There was no arguing with it. It just was. Well I was sure glad it was so easy for her, but it was a little more complicated for me.

“Someone would file a missing persons report. We can't run around with both your scary ninja assassin dudes and the police chasing us. We gotta figure out how to lure them away. Make this place safe.”

“Settle down.” She offered. After all that time bouncing from place to place the concept must have seemed entirely foreign to her. She appeared as though she didn't know if she was okay with the idea or not. She just sat there quietly, contemplating. After a while of twiddling my thumbs, she finally spoke up.

“I might know a way. I know some muscle that owes me a favor. Maybe they can throw them off of us.”

Muscle. I didn't like the sound of that one bit. Of course, supernatural hit men waiting for us in her shit hole sounded even less appealing. And after this, she was definitely not coming to my apartment.

“Ok, What do we do?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

“You do nothing. I take my things into that private bathroom over there and I make the call. You wait here.” She grabbed a chalice and her sharp white object from the backseat. After a little time with her I eventually learned that not only was that thing her spell casting wand, but it was also made of bone. She called it her Athame.

“So wait here and let you do all the heavy lifting. I think not.” I tried to sound as cool and reliable as possible. But then she pulled out a packed bowl from my glove box. All that reliability went straight to hell. “Ok, so stay here and light up while you call for backup. Got it.” She actually smiled before she got out of the car. After sitting there, cheefing in the car for a while, she finally got back in the car with me.

“They're in. Pair of supes known for doing odd jobs. We crossed paths a year ago and as I said, they owe me. A leprechaun and a werewolf.” She paused to let that sink in. She didn't realize I was too high to care about any of that anymore. I just wanted to get this shit over with, go to bed, and pretend this was all a bad dream.

“Just tell me where to go and that you'll be able to handle us if they aren't friendly. I mean, you are the scary necromancer lady right?” She rolled her eyes. “I'm just sayin'. I'm just a zombie, right? I mean, what am I good for besides walking slowly, eating, and rotting?” I chuckled softly to myself. She didn't seem to find it as funny as I did. Too bad for her. I sighed and added “Just tell me where to go.”

She lead us to this middle of nowhere gas station, all the way out in the boonies. We pulled up to the tree line behind the main building, where we would be most hidden from view, and a bright light comes outta nowhere and I shit you not, three guys walk out of thin air in front of us. Like they just spawned in a video game. Our two contacts and some high school looking kid. The high school kid looked us once over and then stepped back into the nothing from whence they came.

I was too high for this shit.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • efeyas profile image

      Elizabeth 4 years ago from Some Sunny Beach, USA

      The very lasty line had me laughing out loud, hehe :D Voted up!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)