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Wafflemancer Part 4

Updated on March 20, 2014


Lilith believes there is something waiting for them in the run down abandoned house they stay at. She wants to bolt, John wants to stay. So, she calls up some "friends" that owe her a favor. At a random gas station, in the middle of nowhere, the werewolf and leprechaun appear before them out of thin air.

Part 4

“I don' like this.” I overheard the short red-bearded man say with a thick Irish accent as we stepped out of the car. He and his tall friend seemed to have been continuing an argument they started before they appeared out of nowhere. “She's nothing but trouble, that lass.” I assumed he must have been talking about Lilith.

“Too true, bruh.” I offered as we approached. He looked up at me, drew in a deep breath through his nose, and smiled.

“At least the lad knows how to have a good time. This might not be so bad after all.” A man after my own heart. That jolly attitude seemed to fade, however, when Lilith approached.

“Luke. Séamus. You two look well.” I had to stifle a laugh when she nodded to the leprechaun and called him Séamus. What can I say? The man was a walking stereotype. Pale skin, freckles, red hair, a little chubby. I'd have called him a Leprechaun even if I didn't already know it to be true. At least he was easy to remember. His partner, the werewolf, was his complete opposite. He was a tall man, with a dark tan and darker brown hair. Even though his goatee had streaks of gray in it, he didn't appear to be all that old. Still looks could be deceiving. I guess that would just be another thing opposite to his “wee” friend.

“Look, Lilith. We're in the middle of something important. So, if we can, I'd liked to get this done and over with as quickly as possible. And then we're even.” Luke said with his eyes sternly on Lilith. It was obvious there was some kind of past animosity between them. Curious.

“Well, as I said when I contacted you, I have some people I'd like you to lead away from here.” At least Lilith wasn't only vague with me. I could tell the lack of details bothered the diametric duo as much as it usually bothered me.

“We're gonna need a Lil' more information than that, lassie. We aren't the fool you remember us to be.” Maybe it was because I was still just a little bit high, but I was in love with his accent. I mean, how often do you run into an authentic Irish accent like that down here in the bible belt? I dunno, maybe you do. I don't get out much.

“You don't say.” Lilith said while looking the two over. She was met with hard stares as they waited for her to elaborate. “Fine. As far as I can tell, there are two Merfolk with a grudge staking out my house.”

“The Mer clan are not members of the folk any longer.” Séamus was pissed. “They are oath-breakers, traitors to the King. I'll not hear you name them among my people.” He took a deep breath as he calmed himself. “I will, however, take great pleasure in dealing with their lot.” It seemed the Leprechaun wasn't too fond of fish people. Still, I wondered just what he was going on about. Noticing my confusion Lilith, in a rare moment of charity, decided to enlighten me.

“The Fair Folk, or Faeries as you might know them, are group of mystical beings united under the banner of the light elf king Oberon and the dark elf queen Titania. They exist on this plane through a pact with the earth, the goddess named Gaea, that each clan must renew every seven years. The Mer--” She stopped herself from finishing with 'folk' as she noticed Séamus' glare. “clan, forsook their oath about twelve years ago in favor of a pact with the Greek god Poseidon.”

“Hence Poseidon Goods, right? She gave me a light smile.

“Look at that, you're not completely stupid after all.” Despite her mocking tone I smiled back. I thought that maybe I was finally getting the hand of all this supernatural stuff.

“Yes, thank you so much for the history lesson. Now, what's the plan?” Luke asked very obviously irritated at the time he was losing. I wondered what was so important to him that he had to get back to. Then again, maybe he just didn't want to spend any more time around Lilith than he had to. I certainly couldn't blame him in that case.

“Assuming the little one isn't as incompetent as I remember,” she took a moment to glare at Séamus, “John and I will approach the home as if nothing is wrong. When they spring their ambush, we'll spring our own.” Séamus snorted.

“Yeah, after all who would expect you to have friends?” Lilith gave him that familiar 'eat shit and die' glare before resuming.

“Then we'll feign giving them the upper hand and attempt to flee. Once we're out of sight, you'll use your magics to disguise yourselves as us and lead them as far away from here as you can. Given the slip and they'll report back our false location.”

“Then we are even, Lilith.” Luke reiterated. Lilith feigned shock at his indignity.

“My, Luke, I thought we were friends.” She said with an over dramatic wink. Séamus feigned being sick and I just couldn't help but snicker. She shot an irritated look at me before chastising the pair.

“Don't forget, it's because of you two that I got kicked out of the Mad Maenad. You cost me my sanctuary.” She trained her glare on Séamus “Or more specifically, it was you.

“We never said we wouldn't do it. Doesn't mean we have to like it.” Luke mumbled before he started walking towards our car. “Well? We gonna do this or what?”

“So what's a Mad Maenad?” I asked during our drive back to the abandoned house Lilith and I had been squatting in. God I missed my bed. Actually, I just missed sleep. Turns out, zombies don't do that.

“Maenad is a term used to describe the crazed followers of Bacchus, the Greek and Roman god of wine and debauchery” Luke offered. “The Mad Maenad is a bar owned and operated by Bacchus. He draws strength from the passion of the parties he throws in all the bars and clubs he owns, but the Maenad is special.”

“It's a portal to his own realm.” Séamus continued. “The building itself is actually empty. When night comes, Bacchus opens up the portal, his bouncers step out, and the bar opens up for business. Only supernaturals are allowed inside and inside there is only one rule.”

“No violence.” Lilith whispered as she looked out the window, her eyes never leaving the tree line that flew past us down that dark country road.

“Right.” Luke said quietly. “The Mad Maenad is a place of pleasure, not pain, as Bacchus likes to say. As such, the bar is treated as neutral ground.”

“The only truly neutral ground.” Lilith said in the same hushed tone. I had no idea why she was being so quiet about it. I fully expected her to continue biting their heads off about their debt. But, no. Those were the last words spoken between any of us before we got close to the house. I don't think I'll ever understand her.

“Cloak yourselves.” Lilith said in an authoritative tone. “It's show time.”

We stopped at the mouth of the long dirt driveway that lead down to the abandoned house in order to let them out. The pair vanished from sight as they got out of the car. My eyes grew wide as I looked to Lilith who only offered one word of explanation. “Faerie.” I just shook my head and drove on down to the house. I pulled into the car shed we moved out back to better hide the car and took a deep breath before getting out of the car. It really was “show time”.

We walked up to the back door of the house as nonchalantly as we could, or at least I did. My heart was racing almost as fast as my mind. I was in a borderline panic mode. You'd be surprised just how terrifying some of this supernatural shit is once you finally come down off your high. After all, it's not like there were fish men assassins waiting for me inside right? I paused at the door handle.

“You hear that?” I asked her. Concentrating, I tried to make out the sound. A few moments later it dawned on me that it was running water. Not because I was able to recognize the sound or anything. But, because the door exploded and a torrent of water sent me flying into the backyard. It was a good thing the house was in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. No way that would have gone unnoticed. Not that I had been expecting anything more subtle. Then again, I'm not sure what I was expecting.

I looked up from the dirt to see two burly looking blue dudes walk out of the empty door frame. That's right, they were freaking blue. Although, aside from that and the frilly looking gill things on the side of their necks, they looked pretty normal. Well, normal professional bodybuilders. But, I digress.

Lilith reached into her pocket, pulled out her athame, and pointed to the blue guy on the left and whispered something I couldn't hear. The guy went flying backwards into the house. His buddy didn't seem to care much about him though, as he came barreling at Lilith. She crouched down and gripped the grass in front her. Just as he got close, she pulled the ground up in front of her, creating a wall of earth between them. I snickered at the sound of the guy's face planting into the wall. She turned and smiled at me. My heart skipped a beat in that moment. She had a certain tomboyish charm in her Grateful Dead band tee and brown cargo pants.

Of course, I immediately chastised myself for thinking it. I didn't have long to think about it, though. A spray of water came crashing through the wall as the Merman reached through and grabbed Lilith by her throat and raised her from the ground. I started to rise to my feet. What I was going to do, I had no idea. But, I had to do something.

Only not really as, seemingly out of nowhere, an enormous wolf tackled the Merman from the left and brought the earthen wall down with them. It sunk its teeth into the guy's shoulder and slung him back up to the porch where the other Merman was coming back out through the empty door frame. He helps his buddy to his feet and glares at Lilith and the wolf. Raising his hand up, the remains of the water from the initial torrent rise with it and fly to his open webbed palm. He collected it all into a big-ass ball and sent it hurling at us. I didn't even have time to brace myself as the ball whisked past us, missing us by mere inches.

I gave a shocked laugh before noticing Séamus shimmer into view on our right. He turned and winked at me before becoming invisible again. The tricky little bastard had saved us! And as far as the enemy still knew it was still just the three of us. At least their confused looks seemed to suggest they had missed Séamus' vain display. Now angry and determined they slowly made their way from the porch to face us anew. The wolf snarled and charged forward at them. I thought I saw one of them smile as he pointed to the ground and flicked his wrist upward. Water from the ground collected into a spear like shape and flew upward into the wolf's side, throwing it off balance, and sending it crashing to the ground. Lilith, in a similar fashion, used her athame to send sharp earthen projectiles at the blue pair and as if mimicking was suddenly in style, a wall of water rose to defend them.

This time the smiles on their faces were apparent as the wall grew in size and came crashing towards us. I guess they figured if they blanketed the field they wouldn't have to worry about missing this time. The force of their attack sent us crashing against the tree line, the wolf landing right next to me. I turned and looked at Lilith who smirked and nodded at me before sprinting into the woods. Not one to be left behind, especially with psychotic fish people, I bolted after her.

We made pretty decent headway before I heard the Mermen hit the leaves of the forest floor behind us. I was finally catching up when Lilith reached backwards, grabbed me by the arm, and yanked me to our left off a small ledge. As we hit the ground I saw Luke and Séamus barrel off in front of us. Lilith put a hand to my chest and pushed me back against the wall of the ledge, forcing us to crouch against it. In the distance I saw the two men shimmer and their shapes change until they looked the spitting image of us. Hiding against that ledge, it wasn't long before the Mermen leaped off it and landed in front of us. They continued sprinting off after our doppelgangers while we sat there in silence. Her plan had worked.

We sat there a while, making sure they didn't double back. Once we were sure they were gone we headed back to the house to look it over and make sure no one was there. Well, I wanted to make sure no one was there. Lilith assured me that they were long gone, that her magic told her so. After what I just saw I wanted to tell her and her magic to fuck off. But, they were right about the fish men being here, so why wouldn't they be right about them being gone? Didn't help my nerves any though.

Once I finally calmed down, it occurred to me that I was freaking starving. I looked around for my wallet so we could head out and get some breakfast or something. Well, maybe not breakfast exactly since I had just gotten off work before we came here, but definitely some kind of food. I was already salivating before I realized that my wallet wasn't there. Lilith suggested that I might have left it at work, so with a decided groan I declared we were heading back to the Waffle House.

She didn't say a word as we drove. I guess the reality that she might not have to run anymore was still sinking in. I wondered what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. Not that I cared, I decided. After all, we hated each other didn't we? We were only together because we had to be. If I left her side, I would die and she constantly reminded me of it. She was a vindictive little bitch. So, why was I so happy there, just watching her day dream?

As we pulled into the parking lot I noticed Vince through the window. Either he was working a double or our manager hadn't come in yet to supervise him counting the drawer. Didn't matter either way. It just meant I had someone friendly to talk to and maybe he would know where I left my wallet.

“Hey Johnny! Where's Ross?” Vince was bussing a table as we walked in.

“Ross? Why would I know where Ross is?” I asked completely confused.

“Well I just figured you might know, hoped really. He's supposed to be my ride home tonight since Will and Kyra left early. We found your wallet earlier and he decided to be the good friend and run it to you at your apartment.” He shook his head. “You know, this carpooling shit is more trouble than it's worth.”

“Yea I hear you. Thanks for the heads up though. I'll head home and if I see him I'll send him your way.”

“Tell him to hurry his bitch ass up!” He called as we walked out the door. I was still laughing as Lilith grabbed my shoulder and turned me towards her. Her face was dead serious.

“We need to go to your apartment. Now.”


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