Walk a mile in my paws!

I'm one of the grandsons of Zsuzsy Bee. Her son is my human pet. She asked me to let you walk a day or a mile or two (which ever comes first) in my paws. It will not be easy as my ‘Dog-Latin' might set a bit of a language barrier here, but I will try to do my best. Let me introduc-icus you to me... "Me" is an outstanding, I mean OUTSTANDING specimen of the ‘Carnivorous Caninus domesticus unusualis' kind (Boxer & Boxer & Sheppard X) which hitherto has been an unknown pure-breed... I am not only the founder but also the sole bombastic member of this grand and noble breed. In the near future, I intend to make my humanicus pet-icus submit or formally register ‘Carnivorous Caninus domesticus unusualis' so that it can be a permanent standard at the ADK. I'm quite the unusual specimen. I do not make such a bold claim without sufficient evidence. Grandmama Zsuzsy often comments that nothing about me is usual. Well she's right nothing about my shiny o-so-coarse yet slik velvety-black and tan fur, over my well toned muscled body is common. It is nothing short of extra-ordinary-cus.

I was named ‘Boss' after the......? (hmmmm! I have no idea who my humanicus pet-icus named me after) ... sometimes the name becomes a Boss-topher, Boss-a-rus or better yet (..down-icus-don't-jumpi-cus) but the name that would explain me the best would be "eat-ti-bus anythingus".

Now that the formalities are over and done with here is my day in a nut-shell-i-cus:

Wake-up call by the most annoying breed of shrilling "Let's hit it over the head alarmi-clocus" at a totally inhuman hour of five-thirty AM. My humanicus pet-icus leaves shortly after to go off and play at what he calls important work... (ya right) I don't understand why he chooses that instead of staying at home-cus playing with me ... and a little with my older stepsister too (who should be named Cacticus because she can be so, so... prickly... instead he calls her ‘Darlin')

While both of us have been told in no uncertain terms to never jump on the couch we choose to ignore that request. Honestly who wants to lay on a hard-wood floor... I ask you?

I like to imitate my humanicus pet-icus's position on the couch or bed, you know where he rests only his head and one arm on his pillow. Odd position for a ‘Carnivorous Caninus domesticus unusualis' you say... I can lay on my back and do the most remarkable imitation of him, I might add.

Then as the morning gets on a little grooming around the back-end-icus seems an appropriate pass-time.

Cacticus, (or Darlin as He calls her) the old girl is not up to my energetic frolicking too much anymore but on most days she encourages me, with her eyes, (I can tell). She watches my spectacular leaps from the back of the couch-to the floor-to the side and back-to the front again. On some days she actually questions my mental state. My maneuvers over the footstool, the small side table and most obstacles are nothing short of magnificent-icus, if I may say so myself.

Just enough time left for a light nooner snack of kibble before a short ‘felinicus-nap'. ZZZZZZ Stretch... More grooming here, there and in the intimate places are called for in the early afternoon, after all you never know when a perfect specimen of the female persuasion could drive by.

I'll miss another episode of ‘American funniest home videos' on the people channel as my humanicus pet-icus's forgot to leave the idiot-box-icus on for us aaaaaagain. I guess it's time to kick old Cacticus--- (I mean Darlin) off the couch and stretch out for another snooze this time in the old fashioned synchronized swimming position... left front paw in the air, just slightly kinked over at the joint...

5:00pm... standing by the window waiting, 5:05pm sitting by the window waiting, .....was that pebbles scrunching in the drive way...? No? I didn't think-th so... 6:02 standing by the front door waiting... 6:15pm sitting with my legs crossed by the door... waiting... 6:17pm... There he comes, my humanicus pet-icus... ffffinally... Watch this... I call this the "I'm-so-glad-you're-finally-home-icus-Tango" watch me... watch what I can do... jump around and around and around and around and arou... wheeee this is fun... if it wasn't so much fun I'd say I could get dizzzzzzy

"Boss-topher... down-icus-don't-jumpi-cus..." I just love it when he calls me by my exquisitely long name....

-outside over the deck in one leap... lift back leg-icus---aahhhhhhhhhhhhh that's what you call relief...

Now, really now, it's time for play... chase the ball, find a stick, where's is my ball?chase the ball, chase the... ohhhh butterfly... Come on, come on, COME ON humanicus pet-icus throw it already...I'm over here, here, here... I have one question though, why---during all this play time does my tongue, the one that usually fits so handsomely into my perfectly perfect snout get longer and longer and longer?

How dare he be tired... after all the resting we've done, old Cacticus and I, have done all the resting, sleeping and ‘siesta-cus's that we possibly could, for him all day and now he's tired...

Oooops I jumped the gun-icus... weee we're back outside... chase the ball, find a stick, where's is my ball?chase the ball, chase the... ohhhh butterfly... Come on, come on, COME ON humanicus pet-icus throw it already...I'm over here, here, here...

Supper time... move over... my turn alright---alright you're the matriarch-icus whatever that may be... you get the first dibs... oh, you're done... hmmm-yum but this chow is just so so good... but what do I smell? Humanicus pet-icus food? Oh yeah my fav 'spaghetti-cus with tha meat-balls' sniff-sniff-sniff ooooh made with those plump romano tomatoes, a hint of garlic, a dash of oregano, parmesana. Watch me Cacticus, I bet I can get a treat from him... look humanicus pet-icus look how nice I can sit, and sit look I can even come closer to you and sittttt "Boss-topher... quit-begging-at-the-tabl-icus..." I just love it when he calls me by one of my exquisitely long names....

Cacticus, wipe that smug look off your snout... you didn't get a snack of... sniff, sniff, sniff hmmmm heavenly... either...

Time for a little R&R. "Did you guys see the remote?" (Humanicus pet-icus is always misplacing that thing) My favorite 'animal channel'... let's get comfi... You Darlin can have the couch I will sit with humanicus pet-icus in his favorite chair. Must get closer, must.... get....closer.... muuust geeet clooooser,... one more bit...just.... just one more bit... and I can perch on his shoulder "Boss-topher... behave-like-a-"mature"-four-year-old-for-heaven-sakes" uuuuh, I just love it when he calls me by one of my exquisitely long names...

"Boss... move over I can't breath" I wonder why my humanicus pet-icus has problems breathing? Isn't that an important thing to do? Maybe I'm wrong... Oh well... must get closer, muuust geeet clooooser,... one more bit... muuuust perch this eighty-five pounds of gorgeously-a-toned-hunk-of-rippling-muscled-body onto his lap...

Time for the news, time for a quick run in the yard, then bed he says, tomorrow is another early day

Wake-up call by the most annoying breed of shrilling "Let's hit it over the head alarmi-clocus" at a totally inhuman hour of five-thirty AM...

That takes care of my day. Grandmama wanna play....with your favorite grandson?