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What if doomsday signs of the end of the world are real?

Updated on June 28, 2012

Are we seeing signs of the end of the world?

The 2012 apocalypse as prophesied by the Mayan calendar and depicted in the recent Hollywood movie, 2012 is only a short time away.  It is just the latest milestone in a long string of events which have been interpreted by many to be the definitive signs of the end of the world.  So far, we are still here, much to the disappointment of many.

It is our human nature to be born, live and then die.  Why not our planet as well?  Didn't we all learn this lesson about the circle of life from the Lion King?  Walt Disney wouldn't lie to us, would he?  Now, we have more information than ever, so much so that surfing the apocalypse network can be a full-time occupation for those doomsday believers looking for "signs".  

They are out there, from the number junkies (remember how the year 2000 was going to be so terrible?  just like 1000 was in the dark ages) to the telescope terrorists scaring the pants off us with sightings of meteors, comets, faces on Mars and planetary alignments of a very suspicious nature.  Yes, the signs are everywhere if you care to look.

So, like the boy who called "wolf" once too often, are we now numb to the alarm bells around us?  Could we really be seeing signs of the end of the world and be ignoring them out of Armageddon fatigue?

2012 Trailer from Hollywood - really a movie trying to scare the pants of everyone on earth!

Don't look up in the sky, but a big red ball of rock is headed our way!

The last thing we'll see will be something like this...
The last thing we'll see will be something like this...

So, what the heck are the top ten signs of the end of all things?

Not to cry "wolf" or anything alarming, but there are some significant signs out there RIGHT NOW that may be confirming the imminent arrival of doomsday. Oh, there are so many but let's stick to the top ten, shall we? No need to go nuts about this, after all. And before we get to the list, remember there is really no need to get in a panic. Even the entire collapse of the universe (admittedly a big catastrophe) would still only kill you once.

So, the Top Ten Signs of the End of the World:

  1. Global Warming: - the Vancouver Winter Olympics had the warmest winter in a 100 years! Hello, this is Canada we're talking about. They have snow all year, don't they?
  2. Popular culture prophecy of our collective subconscious - Hollywood, in the past year, has released over a dozen "end of the world" movies, with many of them being the #1 movie at the box office when they opened, signalling that people want to be entertained with scenes of world destruction.
  3. The Calendars are ending - The Mayan calendar, which is really old, has only 2 years left. Our own calendar, based on the Julian version,was dreamed up by Julius Caesar, but he had no idea what he was doing. It was a stab in the dark, so to speak.
  4. Nostradamus is always right - The many TV specials can't all be wrong, can they?
  5. Nuclear bombs are everywhere - Dr. Strangelove is alive and well and scouting deep mines suitable for shelters for the most prominent men and fertile women of our generation.
  6. The Great Recession - What is life without money? Isn't that the true definition of the end of the world? No money? Why have a green planet without green money in your pocket?
  7. The Da Vinci Code - Forget the paintings and the Holy Grail sign. Take a gander at his notebooks and they'll scare the pants off you! No wonder Bill Gates had to buy a copy for $30 million!
  8. World War III - Don't you feel how quiet it is out there? We haven't had a world war for over 60 years! But now, tempers are rising and the smallest geo-political spark could send us all to the cinder pile faster than you can say Kim Jong-il.
  9. Pandemic swine bird monkey flu - The end may come from the smallest of enemies, the tiny virus mutated from the snout of a pig sneezing on a chicken who shoves his beak into a monkey's butt who then shares a toilet with a farmer's dog who licks his groin and then his master's hand and we're all dead.
  10. Zombie media boredom - There will come a time when everyone in the world turns on their TV and realizes they've seen every Simpson's episode ever made and their eyes roll back into their sockets and they enter a media-induced trance of zombie numbness. Yes, the world survives but we move through it in a zombie state of complete media saturation.

So What? You can't do anything anyway...

Sure, the hopelessness of our planet's survival is a complete downer. There isn't any way to survive the end of the world, and as we've explored in depth, the signs are all pointing towards an imminent demise of all things, even celebrities like Oprah and Brad Pitt. Sure, it's easy to just say, "so what" and give up.

But who really wants to take the easy way out? Don't you want to die trying? Put up a bit of a struggle before the final apocalypse soon? Sure you do. We all do.

So, this is what you do...

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No panic, no hoarding, no frantic construction projects like an ark or a bomb shelter. No sir, you just go on with your daily life as if you didn't give a rat's ass about your impending doom. It is the only sane thing to do, in a world about to end. Don't give in to it. Ignore it and perhaps it will go away.

Be honest with yourself. How often have you ignored other problems and they somehow solved themselves? See, doing nothing is in fact, doing something really powerful. Embrace the inevitable with blissful ignorance and you will be rewarded in kind.

You will not know what hit you.

I hope this has been helpful. In fact, I feel a state of calm spreading over the internet even as I post this...Yes, it is working. The nothing movement has been born right here, right now. Become part of it by doing nothing. As often as you can. In fact, don't stop, ever.

Bye for now and remember, as Nostradamus said, "The end will not be pretty!"

The last quiz you'll ever take

How will you know it is the end?

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