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When

Updated on October 23, 2010

When??

 

There was a time she believed in fairytales and had dreams of a picket fence and a handsome prince.  She would be a nurse and heal the sick and care for her 2 kids. She had a vision and life was all planned out because she always kept a man and she always had friends and never felt left out. So in her mind the world wasn't perfect but whose life is? So take life one step at a time and all the dreams you set will still come true in time.. right? not so true.. Love is blind so it can leave you crying tears of joy or screaming where do I  go from here and will I ever be the happy person I planned to be in my childhood. When the fairytale ends...when the movie credits role... when the ones who got lucky frolic out of the wedding chapel at the end of the ceremony.. there is just you and reality.. truth is love is not found..but it is heard.. and not through words because words can be shallow..no its through the heart.. every beat of my heart tells the truth and no lies...I had a real love once.. but the truth wasn't til the end.. they say you fall in love and are broken more than once in a lifetime.. but before him and since him there has only been intense liking but never the love that found me.. back when I was 19..no not impressionable.. I was far beyond the fairytales and picket fences and perfect endings...Reality set in quickly and even then I wasn't looking for love.. but now its several years later and I don't wonder if that true love will come anymore.. I know that it is planned in its own timing.  I learned alot by letting him go.. I learned how to make it on my own, to be liberated and know that he didn't make me... When did I stop dreaming.. I can't give you a date.. I can't tell you when it hit me but I am glad it wasn't too late.. When did the fairytale end and life began??? I dont know the age.. I know that life hit me at 80 mph and never stopped for a break... When do you finally find love...I can answer that for you.. YOU DON'T..Love finds you when you are not looking.. when you stop head hunting for that one to claim your heart... You can't price tag, myspace, facebook your love... because it will come on a sunny day at the grocery store, a rainy day at a gas station, a random day and you will never know.. WHEN you stop searching and feeling like a person makes you whole..You find happiness.. love finds you.. and Peace settles in for many seasons to come.

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