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When All Seems Lost - A Poem

Updated on July 16, 2018
Senoritaa profile image

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

Prayers
Prayers | Source

The Poem


Misty grey eyes, torn forehead

When all seems lost, there is no way

Wrinkled palms, sore earthly feet

Close your eyes, and silently pray


Torment inside, serene deity

Flesh, blood, broken in vain

When all seems lost, there is no way

All that’s left is remorseless pain


Dejection, you say, you bright star

False ceiling, ray of hope, fantasy

Close your eyes, and silently pray

That the pseudo sun goes down the sea


Herd outside, flock inside

A step ahead, bent unto thee

When all seems lost, there is no way

Close your eyes, and silently pray


Explanation

I wrote this modified Villanelle out of a feeling I always get whenever there seems no way out for anything. I imagine myself in a prayer house, kneeling with folded hands in front of God, and trying hard to wash away all the pain that was most likely caused by my own sins. I sin because I am human, made of flesh and blood, and no matter how hard I try, I will sin. Hence, time and again, I cause pain to my own self, and my mind goes back to the prayer house. One such instance brought the above lines out of me.

© 2011 Rinita Sen

Comments

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    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      3 years ago

      Thank you, Vladimir, for your insightful comment. I think pain is more inherent than joy, and consequently brings out the best forms in any kind of art. As per the Nirvana principle in Buddhism, life on earth means we are here to expeience pain, which is why the goal is to attain Mokhsha, freedom from pain, and gain eternal peace. Even if we practice being joyful, pain never truly leaves us, we never have to practice feeling pain.

      Thank you again for reading. I truly appreciate your visit.

    • ValKaras profile image

      Val Karas 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Rinita---It never stops amazing me how much deeper can pain be than a joy. When we are happy, there seems to be so limited ways of expressing it in a poem---and even then, others are not likely to resonate with you.

      But, when we write a poem about despair, doubt, loneliness, disappointment, so many can deeply relate to it. Are we inherently more inclined to experience pain, or we are not practicing joy enough to have become proficient at it?

      But, no, I won't forget to say it, I love your poem, and that depth of humanness from which it stems.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      3 years ago

      Haha, it's good not to remember, that way you'll always revisit, Verlie. *Smiles*

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Aw, I didn't notice that I had commented already (seven years ago!).

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      3 years ago

      Thank you for coming back after 7 years, and giving this another read, Verlie, shows I have truly succeeded in portraying what I meant to.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Rinita I love this introspective piece. It works so well in Villanelle with the repeating lines "Close your eyes, and silently pray". The photograph and notes add beautiful warmth and depth.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      3 years ago

      Thank you, Shalia. I am glad you agree. This poem was written in difficult times, and is close to my heart.

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 

      3 years ago from India

      Beautiful poem. 'Let go and let God' has been my mantra too.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Glad you feel the same. Thanks again :)

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Beautiful Garbage 

      9 years ago from Louisiana

      very beautiful. I find prayer, and simply just talking to God helps a lot.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      LOL Frank!!

      But I do agree, that's one aspect of it :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      9 years ago from Shelton

      Loved it it.. a Dark path searching for light.. thats my take on it.. and if you don't agree wait for me outside! LOL

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thought so too :)

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Yes, so much, the Villanelle is perfect for this poem.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks snakeslane. Glad you liked it.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      9 years ago from Canada

      What a beautiful Villanelle Senorita. Regards, snakeslane

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