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Alien Encounter At McDonald's, Part II
Who Knew That Aliens Like Fast Food?
Last time we left our heroine, NaomiR, she was on her way to ring in the new year when she was greeted by a tiny, green alien ... who stole the meal she'd just purchased at McDonald's.
Just what did this alien want from her (besides her burger and fries)? Was he friendly? And why the heck was he hanging out by a construction site in Queens, NY?
All of these questions and more are answered as our narrator ponders the existence of life on other planets and our place in the Universe.
... and whether or not all aliens like high sodium, high calorie snacks...
Read This First: Aliens At McDonald's, Part I
- Alien Encounter At McDonald's
This is a story about an alien encounter. I've never really seen an alien, but this is what I imagine the experience will be like.
That Special Sauce Really Is, Well, Special
Just to backtrack a bit,
I really should fill you in.
It was New Year's Eve,
And I was on my way home to
When I followed a strange red light in a construction site...
And ended up meeting a little green man,
Who I'm pretty certain is a creature from another planet.
Either that or the raccoons here,
Have some serious jaundice.
Anyway, this little green guy
He was about one foot tall,
With lime-green skin,
And a round head
Shaped like a football.
Or Dora The Explorer.
And he had big, brown eyes,
That were sad and soulfull,
And made me want to go, "Awww..."
The way I do with my cat, Maya.
But when he smiled,
It was a different story!
He had a huge, menacing grin,
That was full of bright teeth,
And spread from ear to ear,
Like that cheshire cat
In Alice In Wonderland.
It gave me the chills.
And made me want to wet my pants.
Right now, he was munching on my french fries,
A glob of grease dripping down his chin.
That's when I realized,
That he'd eaten my burger, too,
And the special sauce was stuck to his face.
I probably should've told him,
Or at least offered him a napkin,
'Cuz that would've been polite,
But he DID steal my dinner,
And well, that wasn't so nice.
I just stood there staring,
As he gobbled up my meal from McDonald's.
Wishing I could run away
(and get some more food while I was at it)
But I couldn't move.
I think the alien,
Paralyzed me or something.
Suddenly, he got a dreamy look,
On his face,
And he began bobbing up and down,
And doing what looked like
The Snoopy dance.
It would've been cute,
But he kept making
This annoying humming sound,
As he moved.
I swear, I think that the special sauce,
Made him high.
Anyway, he looked right at me,
And babbled a few words I didn't understand.
But I wanted to communicate,
So I attempted to talk back to him.
"Sneeble, snarble snoo?"
(Don't ask me what I said; I have no idea!).
His eyes widened as if he understood,
And then before I knew what was happening,
He reached out with a webbed hand...
... and smacked me across the face!
Guess this little green dude,
Was not a friendly alien.
Either that or I'd
Just insulted his mother.
(Will NaomiR and the alien be able to make peace? Can raccoons really turn green? Stay tune for Part III!)