Beauty in the Normal
Once Upon a Time
Not too long ago...
we spent endless nights,
trying to figure out where it was exactly....
we were going.
I remember the first night
we were supposed to meet.
I bailed on you, and met with someone else
because I was afraid,
of what I'm still not sure.
I only know that that night, was a mistake
that I often look back on and think
"ugh...awkward..."
and then I think of the next night.
The night in which I put aside whatever I was scared or confused about,
and showed up.
And when I got out of the car and walked toward your smile
my definition of "showing up" changed forever...
I wanted to kiss you so bad!
You wasted no time, leaning in to kiss me
because you and I were both so starved
for the feelings involved
that we couldn't help but run toward them.
Warmth,
need,
pull... and glow.
Kissing you made me want to cry,
because whatever feeling I was pushing toward you
you were pushing right back.
And It had been so long
since anyone had done that with honesty
to me...
That night we made love
in your car,
and it wasn't slutty or cheap,
it was beautiful!
And you knew it.
We fit perfectly...
A term that I always thought was made up to make authored romances seem more intense.
Turns out,
it happens in real life too.
I couldn't stop kissing you,
every kiss quenched something inside of me that I thought I had shut down...
to protect myself.
Because the last time that I had that,
it withered and died,
and I suffered inside the thing that once gave me life.
But I couldn't help it,
and I stepped back,
and took my walls down,
and ran through them towards you...
Every time I saw you
was like the first time,
only better,
because I knew what was coming
and because of what I've been through.
I kept expecting it to die out, slow down, or lose its intensity,
and it didn't!
It grew.
It shot us forward so quickly
anyone would say it was too fast.
But it wasn't.
Fears were overshot by the force created within and between us,
the need to not let this stop or slow.
So we moved our kids into this house and started living like we'd been together all along.
Like this was always our normal.
And I wonder,
how can it be normal when at least once a day I look around and think
"no way".
There's no way that all you still have to do is kiss me
and i'm sent right back to that night
when I walked toward your smile.
Only now
our kids are tucked in tight.
We pay our bills and work together to keep evil out, and happy in.
And just when I get a moment when I'm doing the dishes and feeling like every other woman on the block,
you come up behind me
and you brush the hair away from my neck,
and you kiss me...
and just like that, I'm not doing dishes.
We're back leaning against your car forcing ourselves to get as close to each other as possible.
If this is normal,
then I guess I finally get
the beauty in the normal.
