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The Thread with No Name - 2018

  1. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks ago

    Decided to plagiarize my own website. An open forum; anything goes. I'll start. A former hub. It really is too bad flash fiction does not pay; they are so much fun.

    -----

    How I Got My Armadillo

    I decided I wanted an armadillo. Actually I have always wanted an armadillo. It’s just now I finally decided to do something about it.

    I visited several pet shops. No armadillos.

    I went to some animal shelters. No armadillos.

    I finally went online. There were indeed armadillos. But it appears the Environmental Protection Agency also really likes armadillos. So much so that all the paperwork and other bureaucracy made it impossible to get one.

    What was an armadillo lover to do?

    I thought and thought. And then the brilliant idea occurred…

    I went and bought myself a 3-D printer. They seem to be on sale all over the place now. Mine even had voice capability.

    I took it home. I started reading the directions. Everything was fine. Until I got to the chapter on raw materials…

    What raw material does one use to print an armadillo? I looked in the index. Nothing there regarding armadillos. Looks like I was stumped… But then I heard a noise at the window.

    It was one of the neighborhood cats. I opened the window and brought him inside. I explained the situation to him. He wanted no part of it. I reminded him that he still had eight lives left and threw in a bribe that I’d feed him for a week. He thought about it and then agreed.

    I put the cat in the printer.

    Stupid cat.

    I fired up the printer. “One armadillo,” said I.

    “Specifications please,” said the printer.

    Back to the instruction manual… There it was. Got to get the printing specifications/patterns for any given item one wishes to print.

    Back online. To my utter lack of surprise, there were no armadillo schematics to be found. But then I had the insight to narrow my search. I limited it to .gov sites. The NSA popped up. I went there. And there it was. Armadillo schematic 42.

    “What are they doing with that?” I wondered.

    There was a comment box, but I decided not to ask. Downloaded the specs and departed.

    Transferred the specs to the printer. The printer made various noises. Time passed. Sure enough, an armadillo began to appear. Took about a half-hour, but there it was. One complete armadillo.

    It wasn’t moving.

    “It’s not moving,” I told the printer.

    “Taser it,” said the printer.

    So I did. Apparently the spark-of-life thing. The armadillo stood up.

    And that is how I got my armadillo.

    1. snakeslane profile image75
      snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

      I did read this and left a comment on your wswnn. For some reason my name is Jean when I comment there.

      1. paradigmsearch profile image94
        paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

        You are a true friend. What am I going to do about you?

  2. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks ago

    Don't worry. You are too far to stalk. big_smile

    1. snakeslane profile image75
      snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

      That got my attention. Being stalked would be frightening. I didn't think of that, at all. When you do that much work to create a web site I'm sure it's nice to get feedback. I'm just a natural born commenter (my spell check is flagging that) anyway.

      1. paradigmsearch profile image94
        paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

        Alas, no stalk for you; too bad. As for my website, I wish I had HP EBDA.

        1. snakeslane profile image75
          snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

          HP EBDA?

          1. paradigmsearch profile image94
            paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

            Are you HP Ads or AdSense? Recommend try HP Ads; new world.

            1. snakeslane profile image75
              snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

              I think I have ads turned off mostly. No idea about monetizing, clueless. Also, not much readership. Except for a few lovely people. Sometimes years go by without a page view. Oh well...

              1. paradigmsearch profile image94
                paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

                Why? Free money.

                1. snakeslane profile image75
                  snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

                  Not with the stuff I write, so far anyway.

                  1. paradigmsearch profile image94
                    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

                    50 bucks clicking in every once in awhile is not a bad thing.

  3. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks ago
  4. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks ago
  5. Randy Godwin profile image94
    Randy Godwinposted 3 weeks ago

    Gee Para, I would have sent you several armadillos if I knew you wanted some! Seems like you went to lots of trouble to get one. You do know they carry leprosy, or don't you?  yikes

    1. paradigmsearch profile image94
      paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

      You do know said armadillo is warming my feet as we speak?

      1. Randy Godwin profile image94
        Randy Godwinposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

        In that case, before long your feet will not need warming. Don't let it sit in your lap!!

  6. snakeslane profile image75
    snakeslaneposted 3 weeks ago

    What with posting Puff the Magic Dragon 2x Para? Good song tho, love Peter Paul and Mary.

    1. paradigmsearch profile image94
      paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

      You are correct. Explanation declined.

  7. snakeslane profile image75
    snakeslaneposted 3 weeks ago
  8. snakeslane profile image75
    snakeslaneposted 3 weeks ago

    Think I shall call it a day, dream of magic dragons and 3D armadillos.

  9. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks ago

    What we have, others do not.

    1. snakeslane profile image75
      snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

      So, Para I was wondering what's happening with the Camaro? Wasn't clear from your post weeks ago..

      1. paradigmsearch profile image94
        paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

        Dead. Odds of resurrection less than 10 percent.

        1. snakeslane profile image75
          snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

          So does it still reside in your driveway? Most people around here have at least one dead car in the yard.

          1. paradigmsearch profile image94
            paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this
            1. snakeslane profile image75
              snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

              Ok, so at least you get to see it.

              1. paradigmsearch profile image94
                paradigmsearchposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

                Wrong URL copied.

                1. snakeslane profile image75
                  snakeslaneposted 3 weeks agoin reply to this

                  Oh, didn't click, I'm giving the birds in the overhang a peaceful night.

  10. Sherry Hewins profile image97
    Sherry Hewinsposted 2 weeks ago

    When I was a kid, in Louisiana, my dogs used to bring home dead armadillos. I used to see them run over on the road too. Never did see too many live armadillos.

 
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