Im getting a Manuscript together.

  1. DomShadows profile image82
    DomShadowsposted 6 weeks ago

    I have recently been informed that I should start a manuscript. This is something I have half-heartedly been working on since I have been about 21 and I'm 36 now. It has been important to me just that mental though, "maybe I'm wasting my time" or something like that is in my head. Well, has been in my head. I'm finally getting one together and I will be using a lot of the work/s from my Hub Pages profile.

    What I'm asking is:

    Can some of the writers/poets/aspiring/Authors give me a chance and read some of my poetry/poems and give me good honest positive feedback and criticism. Please? In return I too will surf over to your profile and do the same. I want to be discovered, I no longer want this just to be a "hobbie," I want my work out there even if I make zero dollars. I'm humble... I have had a lot of life experiences and I want to settle down and explore the more positive things in life and do something I greatly, dearly enjoy.

    For those that help me thank you so much and for those browsing by thank you as well.

    Here is a sample to get an idea of what I'm working with:

    I've stood here too just like you
    Belonging to a circle of misfits
    They no longer needs to be seen
    So believe here is where I dream
    Lost among 1 billion thoughts
    Not able to collect even one
    I've begun to perceive
    Nothing makes since

    Sitting behind this window
    It's misty, tears are there
    You cannot see them at all
    I muster up the pain
    Losing track of what time even is
    All that has been missed
    Behind these bars and this brick
    The memory it makes me sick
    Thinking of all that will never be recovered
    A true measurement of resentment
    Balled up as to be able to forget this
    That could never happen

    Sitting on a bed so long I had bed sores
    Singing inside my head misery lingered
    I poked my finger at so many men
    It broke me all over again
    I've not seen the moon for so many nights
    Lost track of what was real or not

    I pose a threat even to myself
    So many victims they can't be counted
    I pray today because of my brutal sins
    Will not give in to that type of lifestyle again
    I was contained and forgotten
    Tossed to the side
    I could not hide
    The ugliness of my tortured face

    Today I sit in the light
    Afraid of the dark and what creatures bring
    Smiling but that's fake
    Cause my head is scattered and grey
    Only difference is today
    I'm not encaged with rage
    Inside a dark moldy cage...
    I'm home now
    Surrounded by shattered confusion
    © 2018 Dom Shadows

    1. threekeys profile image81
      threekeysposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      Hi Dom
      I  enjoy poetry from a emotional point of view. I  am not good at critiquing poetry.Its something I havent done  as yet but there are poetry sites out there that do value poetry. Hubpages is more for writing "how to"articles. However in saying that there are two Hubpages people that run a poetry/creative website called Approach Jodah Hansen and/or Ralph Scwartz.
      Here's to poetry:)

      1. DomShadows profile image82
        DomShadowsposted 4 weeks agoin reply to this

        Thank you so much for your valued feedback. You seem like you know what you're talking about so I will definitely check out that webpage. Sorry a response took so long..