You'll get a chuckle out of this one I'm sure...

Jump to Last Post 1-14 of 14 discussions (15 posts)
  1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    When I came home from my working stint as Easter bunny (spending a few days with my granddaughters)

    this is what I found in my email box

    along with a dozen or so announcements of my 40 - 60.5 million US dollar winnings

    I just had to share (the chuckler, not the millions, those are all for me muuuuaaahhaha)

    Just in Case You Get a Cheque....

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate.  This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government.

    I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
    Q.  What is Ontario 's Economic Stimulus payment?
    A.  It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.

    Q..  Where will the government get this money?
    A.  From taxpayers..

    Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
    A.  Only a smidgen.

    Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
    A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
    A.  Shut up or you don't get your cheque.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
    1.  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China

    2.  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .

    3.  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
    4.  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala..

    5.  If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea

    6.  If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

    7.  If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.   

    Or..., you can keep the money in Canada by:

    1.   spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or     
    2.   going to baseball or football games, or     
    3.   hiring prostitutes, or     
    4.   buying cheap beer or     
    5.   getting tattoos.
    These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in Canada .


    The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

  2. earnestshub profile image88
    earnestshubposted 8 years ago

    That does sound like the perfect solution. smile Can I get the prostitute at the yard sale? smile
    Very funny Zsuzy Bee! lol

  3. profile image0
    Justine76posted 8 years ago

    lol  lol

  4. Danny R Hand profile image60
    Danny R Handposted 8 years ago

    Hell, I believe I'll stimulate Americas economy with that plan!

  5. profile image0
    Lecieposted 8 years ago

    lmao...this is so true that i can't help but to lmao...hope it doesn't take off to another country or i'll need the stimulus money to pay it's ransom. big_smile

  6. habee profile image94
    habeeposted 8 years ago

    Sounds like a plan to me!!

  7. Ivorwen profile image70
    Ivorwenposted 8 years ago

    smile  Rather pathetic, isn't it... Of course, there is also Etsy, as an alternative to flea markets. 

    When I was in Canada, I was amazed at all the things made in the USA that I found.  Things I had never seen here.  It really made wonder what was wrong.

  8. timorous profile image82
    timorousposted 8 years ago

    Hey Zsuzsy;  You're quite right. lol It's really just smoke and mirrors.  They're just trying to soften us up to deal with the upcoming HST next year, which will make some things more expensive.

    Of course in the summer months, you can spend your stimulus money on home-grown vegetables and fruits from local farmer's markets.  Ontario peaches are the best.  If you're from Florida or California, I'm sorry..your peaches are just too hard and dense, even when they're picked ripe.  The Ontario peaches are really juicy, with a slightly mealy texture..mmmmm.

    Well, I seem to have gone off-topic a bit.  Still..good day to ya.

  9. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    It's all in fun only

  10. cloudy days profile image61
    cloudy daysposted 8 years ago

    lol, yup definitely got a chuckle out of me!

  11. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 8 years ago

    that was when are u going to share your millions? hehehe please Zsuzsy Bee? hehehe

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Should I share???? I don't know...
      Crazdwriter my latest winnings were for a measly 405 million, I'm not so sure that I have that much to spare... let me think...okay, why don't I put in a good word for you with my recently found best friend Mrs Fredericka Toulaise in Nigeria. I'm almost sure she could rustle up a long lost rich cousins cousin for you too...naturally one who died of a mysterious sickness  a while back. How is that? Good idea? Will that help? hehehehe

  12. Cagsil profile image81
    Cagsilposted 8 years ago

    That was too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

    Thank you very much Zsuzsy Bee wink smile

  13. kj8 profile image61
    kj8posted 8 years ago

    This actually worked in my country, we all got a hand out twice in six months

  14. profile image0
    ralwusposted 8 years ago

    I personally like the prostitute plan. That sounds so invigorating and then she can pay her pimp and dope dealer too and they can go to the ball games.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)