idioms.... sayings understood by native speakers?
It is eight o'clock at night, two women in a bar. One is blond, beautiful, buxum and petite. The other is a brunnette, quiet, demure, calm with glasses, no less. Both are sitting at a table for two. The blond drinking a Long Island, the brunnette sipping on her virgin bloody mary... need I say more?
"Jenny, I've been there eight years. I feel like I am spinning my wheels, darn it. Pardon my french.." The brunnette grabbed her drink as if to challenge it and gulped it down in one try.
"No use in crying over spilt milk, Lynn." Taking another sip of her drink, Jenny shook her head and waved at the waiter. then continued. "You have got a chip on your shoulder, Lynn. I would say it is about a mile wide by now. Every year you try for the promotion. I think you are beating a dead horse."
"But... But...if first you don't succeed, try, try again." Lynn looked down at her miserably empty glass and burped.
Jenny smiled, "Drastic times call for drastic measures, right?" She turned her smile on the waiter and said, "My friend needs some cheeing up. What do you suggest?"
The waiter grinned back and said, "I have got just the thing. Be right back."
Lynn looked at her friend. "I am between a rock and a hard place right now. I can't drink tonight. I have to go back to the drawing board."
Taking another sip, Jenny cleared her throat, then returned the drink ever so gently down on the table. She giggled, "Cut to the chase... why do you think you did not get the promotion this time?"
"Well, I... " Lynn looked down into her empty glass and wondered. "It went to the boss' cousin."
"Oh, so blood is thicker than water. And you remain the executive assistant. Am I right?"
"Yes."
"And you are gonna take that?"
"Well, a bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. I still have my job."
"Lynn, why didn't you tell them to take your job and shove it?"
The waiter returned with a very tall yellow, gold and orange mixture and placed it in front of Lynn.
"Complements from the bartender."
Lynn looked up sheepishly at a tall dark looking man behind the bar.
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Lynn. Drink up. Maybe some liquid courage is what you need."
Lynn took a sip. "What is this?"
"A tequila sunrise." the waiter quipped. and then went back to the other tables.
"Jenny, let's drink like a fish tonight."
"Yeah."
Lynn started to giggle as she attempted to get up to go to the rest room.
"Hey, kiddo. you're as high as a kite... you gonna make it?"
"Sure. It was just one little drink. I just have to get my land legs back."
"Okay..."
The brunnette righted herself and got up, holding onto the chair for a second to make sure of her line of site to the bathroom. She bravely stepped forward only to trip and fall on to a stranger... Looking up thru dishoveled glasses there was none other than the person who had overlooked her for eight years of promotion.
"Hey, are you all right, Miss?" Then narrowing his vision he realized that a frowning drunken tigress was glaring at him, while desperately trying to maintain, and he knew this particular tigress.
"Miss Johnson? Are you all right?"
"Don't you Miss Johnson me, you... you... son of a gun." Swaying a little she brought her pointer finger up and started stabbing the man's left shoulder. "I have slaved away for eight years at your company.... and for what? to be passed over again?" She swallowed hard, she just did not quite feel well. Taking a deep breath, "Do you have an axe to grind with me?" She paused wondering why the room was...
"Lynn, you okay?"
"Um... Jenny, I just had an awful dream..... I think i just bit the hand that feeds me."
"Er, well, it wasn't a dream. Go back to sleep. You are at my house. I will make sure to wake you up in time for work."
"Like I still have a job?:.." Lynn muttered to herself as she slipped back into her dream.
Standing at the desk of the new manager, Lynn quickly put today's meeting notes in place then quietly slipped out. She did not really want to meet up with anyone today if she could help it, especially the CO. Taking two tylenol and gulping them down with her coffee, she jumped as one of her coworkers called out her name.
"Lynn, the CO wants to talk with you."
Oh no. My goose is cooked now. Guess I will have to face the music. Lynn slowly got up from her desk. She squared her shoulders. I need to meet this head on. Wish I could pull a hat trick, but i am not good at thinking on my feet. She pushed her glasses up, and walked what seemed to be the last mile to the elevators to head for the upstairs office.
to be continued......