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One crazy story even for the hub pages

Updated on November 17, 2015

A day comes in everybody's life when they find the urge to move on. That time finally hit me one day when I got home from a very long day at work, and I couldn't find a parking place in the cramped apartment complex where I reside. Enough was enough, and it was time to move somewhere else where I had my own driveway and land which I could call my own. My own manifest destiny came calling.

So one morning I picked up a daily newspaper, and started to read and study the classified advertisements for a place that I could finally call my own at last. There were thousands of houses for sale for all many different prices, but they all were a bit out of my price range.

Then all of a sudden a very bright light bulb went off in my head. My new idea was to buy land, and build my own house. Why not, other people do it all of the time. The prices of land depended greatly on the quantity of acres that you wanted to buy. Some were really way out of my price range, but one piece of land really stood out from all of the others. The price was too good to be true, and my biggest worry was that the land had already been sold.

So I picked up the good old phone, and called the number that was in the newspaper. An elderly man answered by the name of Edward, and he spoke in broken English. I told him that I was calling about the land which he had advertised in the newspaper, and I asked him if it had been sold yet. To my surprise he said no, and that the land was still available. I could hardly believe my ears.

So I asked him if the land was flat or hilly. He said that it could be however I wanted it. I wasn't sure what he meant, so I asked him if there were any trees on the land. He said yes there were some trees, bushes, rocks, and grass. I told him that this all sounded like a good mixture to me, and he agreed that the land was a pretty good mixture.

So I decided that I had to go and see this land for myself. I asked him where was the land located at. He told me that it could be where ever I wanted it to be. I wasn't sure if I understood him correctly because of his broken English, or if he had a lot of different plots of land for sale. So I asked him again if he could give me directions to this land. He told me that he could give me directions to his house, and then he could show me the land. I really didn't understand at this point why he couldn't just tell me where the land was, so I agreed to meet him at his house at a certain time, and go to the land from there.

The directions took me all the way out into the country, and soon there were only big fields, pastures, and woods everywhere I looked. There wasn't a single house anywhere in sight. Finally I pulled into the long driveway of the only house around for miles. It then dawned on me that the land must be apart of all of this property that his house was on. As far as I could see the land was wooded, flat, hilly, and full of wide open fields. I could only dream which section of the land that Edward was talking about selling.

Edward then emerged from this big white three story farmhouse, and introduced himself to me. I told him how beautiful it was around here, and that I could hardly wait to see the land that he was talking about selling. Edward motioned that the land was on the other side of the big cattle barn next to the fish pond.

When we walked around to the other side of the massive barn the view was just breath taking. So I asked him where does the land go. Edward said where ever you want it to go. I said you mean that I can make the property lines go as far, and as long as I want. Edward said when you buy the land, you can do whatever you wish with it.

I got excited and I started walking down a hill towards the wood line, when Edward said where are you going the land is over here. I turned around and the only thing that I saw was an old rusty dump truck loaded up, and over flowing with dirt and brush. I then asked Edward where's the land? Edward said loaded up in the back of that GMC dump truck. I yelled that's crazy, what in the world are you talking about?

Edward then went on to say that earlier in the week he leveled some hills on the back side of his farm, and that he had all of this land left over. So he decided to advertise it in the newspaper, and sell it to make a little money. Edward said that he would be more then happy to spread the land out however, and where ever I wanted it.

Since there's certain language you aren't permitted to use here on the hub pages, I decided to censor the rest of our heated conversation, and quickly move onto the end of this story

After I called him an idiot we both proceeded to have heated words, and then I was asked to leave his property immediately with the helpful encouragement of Edward's shotgun. Since I was on the business end of those two barrels, I didn't waste anytime leaving either. On my long drive home I decided that buying land may not have been one of my better ideas. So to solve the parking problem at my apartment complex, I decided it would be best to just sell my car and buy a bike.

5 out of 5 stars from 2 ratings of this Hub


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    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Nearly spat out my tea! Thanks for this.


    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James-MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Funny, funny. Being a native of the South, I'm not sure if this is truth or fiction. Our vernacular can sometimes be confusing to aliens (those not from the South). Just wait until somebody offers you earth for sale.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      It isn't every day that one comes across a natural born philosopher. With a little hayseed, perhaps, but he does have an interesting perspective on things. However, if you had bought the land, he would have ceased to be a philosopher and would have been a demon. Very nice story, thanks for sharing:)

    • healthylife2 profile image

      Healthy Life 5 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Thanks for the laugh!

    • Elise-Loyacano profile image

      Elise-Loyacano 5 years ago from San Juan, Puerto Rico

      Very fuuny story with a great (albeit unfortunate) twist. Come to think of it, I've got soe land to sell too. Maybe Edward would like to buy it.

      "My own manifest destiny came calling." Nice line.

    • moonfairy profile image

      moonfairy 5 years ago

      you really had me going there! Where? Well, I don't know...I guess wherever you wanted me to go...................................LOL

      very entertaining hub =)

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 5 years ago from the South

      That's one of the funniest stories I've ever read! Unbelieveable what some people will do...thanks for a good laugh!

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      That just might be the funniest thing I have ever read. What Is Q (a Hubber) had the title up to this point but you are the king of funny stories. Thank you so much for a wonderful laugh.

    • Diana Lee profile image

      Diana L Pierce 5 years ago from Potter County, Pa.

      What a character this guy was. I wonder how many more came to see his land. Very funny.

    • AlanRimmer profile image

      AlanRimmer 5 years ago from Southwest UK

      My wife just asked me what I was laughing at so I read her your hub and we both fell about in hysterics. Bookmarking this one. Brilliant.

    • Rice Girl 2011 profile image

      Rice Girl 2011 5 years ago from Southeastern United States

      Great story. Voted up and funny. I really enjoyed this, thank you for a big afternoon chuckle!

    • farmloft profile image

      farmloft 5 years ago from Michigan

      Great, fun story -- my husband sells topsoil, I wonder if he'd make more money if he advertised it as recycled "land".

      Good luck with the bike.

    • IsadorasThought profile image

      IsadorasThought 5 years ago

      Oh my goodness, I'm crying with laughter. Edward is my idol though. I think I'm going to sell some land, too :)

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 5 years ago from Minnesota

      Unbelievable that there are people out there that would lead someone astray like that. I can imagine how ticked off you must have been. It did sound ify to me right from the start. Part of me wondered if it was an axe murderer. Glad you came out of it unscathed except for the let down of the dirt in the back of the truck. Great hub and I hit every button.

    • tjdavis profile image

      Teresa Davis 5 years ago from Moscow, Texas

      Wonderful story..voted it up and shared it on twitter.

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Can I take American soil north of the border into Canada and declare a US republic there? Answer on the back of a postage stamp please.

    • DrMark1961 profile image

      Dr Mark 5 years ago from The Atlantic Rain Forest, Brazil

      Sounds like a language quaff that I would make! I have some land for sale too (only a few wheelbarrows though), just drop me an email.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      As I read I kept trying to figure out where this land might be given Edward's cryptic answers. I never dreamed it would be in his pick up truck! Great job. Voted up, funny and interesting.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      TOO funny! Loved it and voted/shared. :)

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      Is there a good story about buying the bike? LOL I am sharing your article now. Please go through the list and exchange sharing with the other participants.

    • lucybell21 profile image

      Bonny OBrien 5 years ago from Troy, N.Y.

      Your story gave quite a chuckle, and I really enjoyed reading it. And I hear ya on the parking. My street sucks some days, but it's the price I pay for living 5 minutes away from my job. Voted up!

    • Lightshare profile image

      Lightshare 5 years ago

      -)reallyy crazy

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. LOL some people wish they'd all learn better English. I mean this guy is living in the U.S. He must be a load of laughs everywhere he goes. Even though you're getting a bike maybe if you are still feeling cramped you can see if there are houses available for rent and then decide which way to go.Passing this on.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      This is a great story, but I am so sorry that you had to put up with all this foolishness.

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 5 years ago

      Oh my gosh! I literally fell out my bed laughing! This is too funny.

    • neeleshkulkarni profile image

      neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

      i kept running down the hub thinking there was a deep philosophical lesson to be learnt and sue there as one at the end- when you fall short , don't buy more- downsize, for all you want to buy could turn out to be a truckload of dirt.

      great ending loved it , voted up.

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 5 years ago from Massachusetts

      Great funny story, i wonder how many other people tried to view that land ?

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Nice one! Voted up and funny. It's got to be on a par with Tommy Cooper's* best comic tales.

      *If you've never hard of him, Tommy was an all-time comic favourite this side of the Pond.

    • AnnRandolph profile image

      AnnRandolph 5 years ago

      Funny story! Keep writing.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      What a story! It certainly does explain why the 'land' was still available and the vague answers from Edward.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      What a hoot! Enjoyed the story and great laugh. What a character!

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

      I think you were punked, HS!

    • profile image

      oceansider 5 years ago

      I read your article, the whole thing, and I really enjoyed it so I read I was thinking you were going to get some land in the sounded beautiful, until you were shown the dump truck!!! that was funny, very weird indeed!! I was disappointed for you as I got to that part and read that!....This was really well done..voted up and interesting!

    • preservemypics profile image

      preservemypics 5 years ago

      Haha. Edward is a marketing genius!

    • kj force profile image

      kjforce 5 years ago from Florida

      OMG..I was just getting ready to e-mail you with my daughters bus.#, thinking you would need an architect..

      you were right when you titled your hub..great job/well written and funny..let me know when the snow falls, I have some old bike chains..hehehe

    • TENKAY profile image

      TENKAY 5 years ago from Philippines

      bwahahaha... I love your story. so, how's the bike.

      voted up and funny.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      LOL this is hilarious!

      Voted Up

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Definitely sound like something you would get in TN. Here someone would buy the dirt to fill in a big dip in their land.

    • profile image

      Larry Wall 5 years ago

      Since you are not buying the land, can I interest you in the purchase of a bridge--one in the New York area?

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Tooooo funny! This is a great story! I hope that bike worked out and that you got a helmet too. UP! Shared too.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      This is hilarious. No wonder you were getting such odd answers on the phone.

      Cycling will keep you fit anyway. Lol

    • flashmakeit profile image

      flashmakeit 5 years ago from usa

      I almost fell of my set laughing. He thought someone would want to buy his dirt and unwanted weeds. Too much!!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Hysterical!!! I had no idea where this was going but certainly wasn't disappointed once I got there. Great job with this!

      By the way - did he also advertise a section of swamp land in Florida? LOL

      Definitely voting up. How could I not?


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