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Which Fictional Characters Would You Invite To Dinner?
Of all the fictional characters you can think of, which would you ask to dinner?
You have suddenly become the owner of completely wonderful machine. Just type in the name of a fictional person - from any era - and that person will suddenly appear before your eyes.
But this isn't an apparition - this is a living, breathing, talking real person straight out of the pages of your favourite book, film or television show.
Now, because these are real people, it will only be a matter of politeness to offer them refreshment. After all, some of them might have traveled from the Middle Ages to be with you. Some might have come from the other side of the world.(Or even another planet).
So a nice dinner party will be perfect.This will give your guests chance to have leisurely conversations. You see, your machine even includes a handy language button.
Be sure to press it and all your guests, no matter where they are from, all speak perfect English (well, according to their era - Falstaff might have a problem understanding Harry Potter - or maybe not).What about real people from history? Good idea - click here.
Despite the handy language feature, I decided to make all my guests British. (I think it's fun to have a theme). This chap had to be included,without doubt.
I thought 'shall I have Basil Fawlty or Sybil?' Having both would be fun because they'd argue throughout the meal but I finally decided on the manic Basil.
He would probably insult everyone - without fully meaning to, of course - and I'm sure that he'd criticise my method of serving the soup or setting the table.Just don't mention the war. But how would he get on with my other carefully-selected guests, that's the question. He doesn't get on with his own.
Get to know my guests
Did you know that there were only twelve episodes made of this wonderful comedy?Well, they're all here in this collection plus a fabulous selection of interview and other extras. This is totally funny and much, much better than Monty Python.I must have the other characters (especially Sybil) to one of my fantasy dinner parties soon.
A country spinster
Miss Marple and Basil Fawlty? Chalk and cheese. Basil isn't known for his kind and loving manner with old ladies.
Would he be his usual patronising self?And what would the spinster of the parish think about the crazy hotelier? She would be very understanding and gentle, I'm sure, calling him 'my dear' often.
Which would probably infuriate him.
But I think she could keep him entertained with stories of mysteries she's solved that have been set in seaside hotels.By the end of the evening she would have probably knitted him a scarf and a balaclava and recommended her favourite herbal remedies for nerves.
Get three delightful mysteries on one package featuring the dotty Miss Marple.But she isn't so dotty really, as she tends to solve crimes that have the professionals completely stumped. Whilst they go off on their wild goose chases, this old lady thinks about the mystery's parallels with village life.And she's by far the expert.
A gentleman's gentleman
This was another 'which one should I have' choices. Should I have Jeeves or Wooster at my dinner party?
Well, I suspect things could get a little boisterous so I chose Jeeves. And I'm sure that he'll have some wonderful stories to tell about his 'young master' who he once referred to as 'mentally negligible'. Hmm, entertaining.
I suspect he will be suavely charming and formally polite to Miss Marple, just as he is to Bertie's aunts - the 'good & deserving' Dahlia and the terrifying Aunt Agatha.But how will he get along with Basil Fawlty? I can just seen him now wearing that supercilious expression he does so well along with the raised eyebrow.
I truly could watch Jeeves and Wooster all day long. P.G. Wodehouse developed characters that stay with you for ever. Especially the daft names.I know that I'll never forget Gussy Fink-Nottle (or Spink-Bottle as Bertie's Aunt Dahlia calls him).This is the pair exactly as P.G. Wodehouse intended them to be, I'm sure of it.
A fashion model
Edina or Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous? No contest - it has to be Patsy.
She'll bring the booze (plenty) and will quite possibly be the life and soul of the party.With three men in the room, I doubt that the ladies will get any of her attention.
If she talks to Miss Marple at all, she'll refer to her as 'Miss M' and then concentrate on a bloke.I suspect that she'll make a beeline for Jeeves at first.
After all, he dresses impeccably and has a wonderful upper class accent. She can probably smell money.As for poor Basil, I don't think he stands a chance. He might well drool at her a little but Patsy and a small-time hotelier?
Not in a hundred years.
Every. Single. Episode. Yes, every one. This is unbeatable. Right from the early days and the very first episode to the end of the final series - it's all here.This makes the most brilliant gift for a Brit or an Anglophile. See Edina, Patsy, Saffy and Mrs M every step of the way. Wonderful.
I was rather concerned that Miss Marple might be short of someone to talk shop with so, good hostess that I am, I decided that Sherlock Holmes would be ideal.
Holmes will, of course, sum up within minutes where the other guests have come from, what their occupations are and even what they had for breakfast yesterday.I rather think that he and Jeeves will hit it off and of course, as he's a coke-fiend, he might enjoy spending time with Patsy and her bottle of vodka.
Because I suspect that Jeeves will rebuff her, she'll have a go at Sherlock plus, with this bunch, it could be handy to have two detectives present just in case.
A nosy neighbour
Unless you are British and of a 'certain age' you might not recognise Hilda Ogden but she is must for the dinner party if only to clean up the mess later.
From the TV soap Coronation Street she pokes her nose into everything so should get on well with our two detectives, especially 'Miss M'.
As a cleaning lady, she will imagine she has an affinity with both our hotelier and our gentleman's gentlemen but I fear that both will look down their noses at her.But the sparks will really fly when she gets together with Patsy.
Hilda will have no hesitation in letting her know that her skirt is too short, her heels too high and that she's mutton dressed up as lamb.
JUST TEN LEFT! I hope that Amazon will be restocking this because this takes us to another era.Coronation Street started on British telly in 1960. And guess what? It's still running.
My dinner guest, Hilda Ogden joined the soap in 1964 to join characters that are now legendary - Elsie Tanner (the street tart), the Walkers (landlords of the local pub), old battleaxe Ena Sharples and many more.
Write about your favourites too
How many fiction characters can you think of? Hundreds? Thousands? More? So why not develop your own party? You've got the machine so go for it. Be serious or be daft, whichever you wish. I'll feature them on this page and promote them to social media. A few ideas:
- What would happen if a bunch of fictional vegetarians got together?
- What about 'after the movie'. If Marty McFly was at dinner today with Doc, Biff and others from the film?
- Try a group of Shakespearean characters. Juliet meets Bottom meets Shylock.
- The different characters played by the same actor. I'm imagining Mary Poppins with Maria von Trapp and Victor Victoria.
- Cartoons would be cool. Popeye, Roger Rabbit, Denis the Menace, the Simpsons...