The Redneck Dryer

Imagine yourself with piles upon piles of laundry. They sit there mocking you. Your kids are complaining because they have nothing to wear and your husband wore the same pair of socks 2 days in a row! YUCK! You know they need to be done… yet, there is a slight problem with that. How do you get the laundry done?

The simple answer would be… why wouldn’t you just use your washer and dryer? Duh! Like I hadn’t already thought of that. In this case, I would love to just use my washer and dryer. Yet, there is a slight problem. We have recently moved only to discover our very expensive dryer does not work in the house we moved in to. Our dryer is electric and the hookup only supports a dryer that works with gas!

So the next logical question would be… is there someplace you can go to get your laundry done while waiting to fix this dilemma? The answer to that is yes. I have a couple of different options. We have some close friends that live nearby who would gladly be willing to lend us out their clothes cleaning appliances. (If not because they are awesome like that, but also because they are around us enough to not want us to smell!) We also have a handy dandy Laundromat about a mile or so from our house.

So, what’s the problem?

Transportation. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, we have only one vehicle. To bring my clothes to either place would require some sort of mass organization, which is something I completely lack. Either I would have to ask those whose washer and dryer I am borrowing to come pick me, my son, and my clothes up from my house, to drive me over to their house, or, I would have to figure out how to carry a couple weeks worth laundry, accumulated by 5 people, in either my son’s stroller, wagon, or bike carrier. I could use the same method to go to the Laundromat. But doesn’t that seem like an excessive amount of work (and stress).

A person’s got to have clean clothes, but it looks like this situation equates to a total “pain in the ass!”

I have a washer - I am just missing the dryer. So, at least one part of the process is already ready to go, right there staring me in the face. All I have to do is figure out how to dry my clothes without leaving the house!

So the other day as we were picking up necessities at the store, I breezed past the laundry section where there was a drying rack. The answer was sitting right in front of me for only $9.95. It sure beat the cost of getting the new plug installed at $350. Not to mention it would do in a pinch.

So home it was. With the washer installed, my husband decided it was time to put the drying rack together. It was simple, but somewhat imperfect. The bars used to hang the clothes off of were all different lengths. A slight imperfection that made this product nearly impossible to put together. But together it went. My husband made it work.

So finally, with a big smile on my face I loaded my washing machine. All there was left to do was wait. I was excited. (Ok - maybe I need to get out more!) But clean clothes were on their way. Sure, it wasn’t the perfect set-up, but it would should work.

Finally, the washer beeped. It was time to get those clothes hung up and dried. I filled up the basket and brought it out to drying rack. I placed the first shirt on the bar, followed by the second, followed by the third… and then crash…. All the clothes were laying on the floor. Stupid piece of junk!

So I guess that means it is time for plan B!

As I stared at the clothes laying on the floor, I knew I needed to do something. Otherwise washing the clothes would have been a complete waste. So it was time to get creative. This is when I came up with the Redneck Dryer… or, at least a way to get my clothes dry without using the stupid, crappy drying rack!

So I took a look around. I surveyed the contents of what I had. A few shelves attached to the wall, a pile of wet clothes, and…. some hangers. That’s it! Who needs a dryer when you have hangers and shelves.

I took a pile of hangers (good thing that was on the list of necessities picked up at the store so I had a lot of extras!) and started hanging up the clothes from the shelves.

Now you can’t forget about the breeze… that is how they dry if they are hanging up outside! So, I opened up the window and let the cool night breeze in. Voila - the Redneck dryer.

When I woke up in the morning the clothes were dry. Sure, they were a little more wrinkled then they would be if I had used a dryer, but at least my clothes were clean and dry. Yet, I have a family of five, and a whole lot more clothes.

So in pops the second great idea. If I add a rotating fan to the equation, the clothes will dry faster! And believe me, it worked!

With about a week and a half of clothes to wash, I had several loads of laundry to complete. With my washing machine and redneck dryer, a little muscle with the iron, I completed every load but one in a day’s time. Not too bad for doing things the “simple” way.

Note: The Redneck Dryer is not the preferred way of drying clothes. If you prefer the fresh, wind-blown freshness to your clothes, I suggest hanging your clothes outside to dry with the proper equipment. However, The Redneck Dryer will work in a pinch if ever your dryer does go out or is unavailable to use. The author can not be held responsible for the amount of drying time, or the lack of results.

This story is intended to be funny. The author in no way intended for you to feel sorry for her or her family. However, if you do feel bad for her, feel free to take the laundry and do it for her since laundry is her most hated chore. If you can’t help that way, feel free to send your credit card information so she can get an electrician out stat to install a plug for her dryer to work so she no longer needs to use an The Redneck Dryer. Or, just have a good laugh and share with your friends and family.