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When Bad Things Happen, Learn Good Lessons

Updated on September 21, 2008

When Bad Things Happen

Do you ever wonder why, no matter how much you try to live your life as an example to others and be a good, caring person, bad things still happen to you? Do you ask yourself where you went wrong to cause such an awful circumstance?

I have been through a lot of bad things in my life and it has taken me a long time (probably too long) to figure out that no matter what happens, be it good or bad, that it is a valuable lesson for me to learn from and use it to better my life. I muddled through the rocky tean-age years straight into the rocky relationships and marriages, all the while, thinking that there was something wrong with me because everything that I touched seemed to fall apart.

Then I finally began to realize that it WAS something wrong with me! Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I had to admit to myself that all of those relationships that had fallen apart had nothing to do with me not being attractive enough or caring enough. It had to do with the fact that they were a lesson for me and I could not even begin to see it at the time.

Once I finally realized that my attitude had everything to do with my success, whether in business ventures or in personal relationships, I began to realize how much I had been suffering from the "poor me" syndrome. That was a really swift kick in the gut to have to admit but a necessary lesson in and of itself.

It was because of the "pitty party" that I had been living in for so many years that I went through a lot of depression, even to thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. Once I was able to admit this to myself, I was able to see all the bad things that had happened in my life as the blessings that they were. Everything that has happened to me over the course of a lifetime has simply been stepping stones to get where I am today and lessons to look back and learn from. Granted, I would love to have not had to relive the lessons quite so much but I wouldn't have if I had learned the first time I made mistakes.

No matter who you are, bad things are going to happen. The difference in how you choose to deal with these circumstances is what can make the difference in what happens next. Will you keep repeating the same mistakes using the "poor me" excuse or will you look at the situation and ask what you can learn from it and what you can do to make the situation better the next time? Instead of concentrating on all of the bad things that happen, be grateful for all the good things in your life. When you feel yourself slipping into the "poor me" mode, sit down and make a list of everything you can think of to be grateful for. You have the power inside you to completely change your way of thinking and to turn your thoughts to "good" versus "bad" thoughts.

One of the first things that I noticed happening once I changed my attitude and started to use my power inside to control my thinking was that I started to smile a lot more. Once I began to smile more, I began to feel happier, more confident and more content with myself and the path I was taking. That feeling became addictive and I wanted to feel it all the time! I began to look at life differently and I have found that not only has it impacted my personal life but also my professional life as well. I have been able to reach new goals, see more hope, be more confident and secure in my business simply because I chose to see the "good" that comes from the "bad". Now, when I start to feel down because something bad has happened, I just ask myself "What can I do to turn this into a positive situation?" I think of all the things that I have to be grateful for and I realized how blessed I really am!

If you are feeling overwhelmed and helpless, down on yourself and depressed, ask yourself what you can do right this second to change your life for the better? Make that decision to use the power inside you to control your own destiny. Once you decide what you can do to change your life, take action to do it! If your life hasn't produced the results that you want in the past, look back and learn from it what you should do differently to change the results you receive.

For example, if you create this wonderful meal and you discover that it isn't exactly what you wanted it to be, are you going to cook the same meal using the same technique tomorrow or are you going to try something different to get the meal that you truly want? Simply change the recipe to try to improve on the taste. If that doesn't work, try changing something else! Keep changing the recipe until you create the results that you want to achieve.

Hey, most people who are really perfectionists didn't achieve this goal on their first try! Keep changing your stradegy until you achieve what you want to achieve. Never give up! And don't let bad things pull you down. Instead, learn the lesson that you are blessed with receiving from it and use that lesson to change your recipe!

© 2007 Bonnie Ramsey

Diamond Team Leader


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      7 years ago

      I couldn't agree with you more. In reflecting back over my past, it would seem that I should now be the smartest person in the world. But alas I'm not. However, I do try to learn from the mistakes of others as much as possible because I will not live long enough to make them all by myself.

      here is an article where I have shared some good lessons I have learned in life:

      Maybe others will benefit from some of the mistakes I have made so far. I say so far because as long as we live, we'll never be perfect.

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      8 years ago

      Thank you very much! Great advice, Sure hope i can follow the advice! :)

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Gr8 thoughts!!!!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      this is completely true, and I thank you very much for posting this !


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