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Childrens Watches

Updated on November 28, 2012

Children need proper watches

It's a fact of life: kids wear watches. They may not be working long hours detasseling corn or studying for the ACT exam, but they still want to know what time it is. You can help. Go online to our favorite auction site, eBay, and bid on numerous watches for the children in your life.

Kids have a human right to know what time it is. We can't keep this information from them if we prefer them to grow into productive members of society. Experts estimate that some percentage of prison inmates were denied children's watches during their formative years. We're here to help.

Childrens Watches are for Children

Consistently abrogating international standards for cuteness, Hello Kitty branded products extend across the spectrum of children's accessories. Every self-respecting kid deserves at least several Hello Kitty watches. Parents might consider themselves deficient should they deign to send their progeny to elementary school or college without first swathing the little darlings in HK gear.

Look for inexpensive Hello Kitty watches on eBay, then scroll past them to the extremely high-dollar items. Your kids will love you more.

Childrens Sports Watches

Many children participate in sports. Should the hordes of meddlesome parents hovering on the sidelines suddenly lose track of time and the professional referees drop their stopwatches and the official scorer receive a job offer to timekeep for the NBA, the kids had better be prepared.

A child's wrist is indeed cute, but a child's wrist enclosed by a sports watch purchased on eBay just might get the attached child into the starting lineup or a really exclusive day care center. Don't take that risk.

Children's Watches from Disney

The Disney empire wants only the best for our kids. You, as an eBay shopper, can depend on trusting every Disney children's watch listed for bidding. Don't hesitate: a watch decorated with princesses, fairies, mice, Caribbean Pirates, or certified teen heartthrobs will make your child happy. It's guaranteed.

Look for watches coordinated with Disney Radio albums and weekly TV shows on the Disney Channels. That's what the hip kids really want. Don't ask us how we know.

Jelly Watches

Jelly watches are in style. Every hip and happening young person craves the peer acceptance provided by strategically purchased jelly accoutrement. It's not made from real jelly and it won't keep you alive if the food court at the mall is closed for fumigation. This jelly is fashion jelly. Your kids will understand as they strike out into the cutthroat world of 3rd grade.

Bid on numerous colors and styles. No self-respecting child-like person wants to wear the same watch 2 days in a row. They're not heathens.

Children's Frog Watches

Your kid may grow into an adult who fears frogs. Be sure to expose them to amphibians at an early stage of their development. Without proper frog-based chronological accoutrement applied at a young age, these future adults may find that making their way in the world takes everything they've got. Providing a frog watch sure would help a lot.

Children's Swan Watches

Swans represent the largest members of the duck family Anatidae, and are also among the largest flying birds, uniquely qualifying them for capturing the hearts of our children. Somehow this aggressively territorial avian appears on innumerable products directed at children.

Your kids may never cuddle up with a swan at their birthday party, but they will grow up with a hole in their emotional heart unless you buy them swan watches. Be a good parent.

Children's Expensive Watches

Strip away all the swans, frogs, Disney characters, and Hello Kitty miens: what your favorite children really want is a Rolex. Anything else is simply a hollow reminder of what the important kids are wearing. Bounding up the stairs into the school bus is much easier with the Sun glinting off a Submariner or an Oyster. Getting a seat at the cool kids' table in the cafeteria or getting admitted to community college is facilitated by the correct Rolex. Actually, any Rolex.

Put aside your guilt. Invest your retirement account in an authentic Rolex for the kids you truly love. They will think of you every time they take another step up the corporate ladder. It's cheaper than one year at Harvard and your kid won't have to take a course from a disaffected liberal arts professor with tenure.

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