Divorce Gift Vouchers - Are They A Joke?

You have heard of Air Miles, Buy One – Get One Free, Tax Credits and Food Vouchers, but how about Divorce Gift Vouchers to go towards that divorce you have been planning? Yes, fair Hub Pages reader, it’s the latest ultimate “Low” offered by the legal profession, and it will probably cash in on everyone’s marital misery and make a pile of cash. I bet the super rich and ever inventive Avatar director James Cameron would never have thought of this one. A few years ago, he could have probably used it, in that marital separation with Katherine Bigelow.

This legal wonder comes to us courtesy of that country which will remain nameless, where power and wealth and money made from divorces has given recession-hit lawyers a novel way to make a crust in these hard times. (Okay, they made money in the good times too!) Divorce is so common now in western countries that lawyers have realised that in some situations where cash-strapped people can’t afford a divorce due to financial hardship, a Divorce Gift Voucher is just the ticket.

Thanks to changes in Divorce Laws, it’s no big deal now to buy that $300 or $1,000 Divorce Gift Voucher (there’s one to suit every pocket, wallet or purse!) for that family friend or college buddy you know and want to help get that quickie divorce from that other person who is nothing but a carbuncle on the butt of that marriage. Hell, maybe you are the reason the darn marriage has collapsed anyhow, and are just waiting to step in and claim your prize. (Aren’t you that carbuncle, then? You sly fox!)

The main thing is, you really fancy him or her, and just want to make things right, right? You wanna be a friend! Maybe its coming up to Christmas, and you just want to give the perfect gift to the perfect Victim... sorry ...Candidate! There’s a lot of people out there who are stuck in unhappy marriages and need a way out somehow, preferably a way that doesn’t include a walk along the edge of the High Cliffs of Dover. Or a closer than normal view from the top of Niagara Falls. Or a rendezvous with a Russian HITMAN. Or a visit to the top-most highest floor of the Empire State Building, where the view is amazing and the drop is a long way down. Gravity doesn't have to be the only bitch, right?

Okay, I am trying to cheer you up, seeing as this is a morose subject. And true, some countries and some of you don’t have or even allow divorce to take place. Stay with me, okay? It was either write this hub about this, or do the one about Divorce Cakes! Yes, bloody Divorce Cakes! People are celebrating their divorces now with Cakes!

So, in this modern day and age when people are divorcing each other now by text message, imagine getting that card in the mail, that card from the really good looking workmate who has been eye-ing you in the office for ages, and is now commiserating with you on the marriage breakdown...

But really just wants to get you in the sack – and cheers you up instantly as you open the envelope - and inside is a Speaking Card that announces “You’re a Winner!”

And as tears of joy roll down your cheeks, you see that it is accompanied by a tacky gold leaf Divorce Gift Voucher and a crumpled business card of a local law firm that specializes in Quickie divorces and Divorce cases. And investigating cheating spouses. Yeah, you are probably now in that market! And that perhaps... this is their way of somehow cheering you up, or making you feel good...

But is this a real case of finding a new break-through solution that honestly saves people’s sanity and pockets - or is this just a way to fuel the fires of divorce law suits and marital separations? Are Divorce Gift Vouchers about to cheapen the whole Sacred Institute of Marriage even further? Like every Charlie Sheen has?

Isn’t marriage all about a Universal Bond of Love, Dedication and Commitment, and Promise of Fidelity - a personal and important family more that we need to preserve and worship and even treasure? Am I being old fashioned here?

So what if your other half is an ugly trollop with an arse the size of a bus, who hasn’t trimmed her uni-brow or armpits since puberty. That same person who wipes your nose when you lie sick in bed, who cleans the toilet, scrubs the floor, chops the firewood and throws the cat out at night, and who puts up with your toenail clippings in the bed because no one else will. That’s the woman who darns and mends your socks when they get holes in them. Hold those socks to your face, yes - close your eyes right now – and smell that love. Doesn’t that bring tears to your eyes?

Isn’t there an argument in favor of ensuring marriage as an important and noble concept of two people’s Dedication and Love to each other? Will all lawyers accept that? For that matter, will we?

Or will the Divorce Gift Voucher really change anything? Is it really, in the end – just a means to an end that – for some couples, is going to come anyway?

Copyright (c) 2009 - 2013 Cassy Mantis. All Rights Reserved.

Cheeky Girl won’t get any Vouchers from Hub Pages for this hub, but she will get a higher rating if you rate her hub page here! I try to write my new Hub Pages the way the Cohen Brothers write their movies, bringing style and substance to the project. (I have mixed success, but then so do they.) I don’t want your money or gold or jewellery or anything, just your little old click on a rating for me, as I spread my message of Love and humor around the world and bring comfort to those who could use it! Thanks for making a difference!

This hub is dedicated comedy writers and comedians everywhere. This is mere humor with a tinge of seriousness thrown in. And no, I am not telling you the girl's name - even if she is a hot chick!

Check out my other hubs:

Jennifer Ellison - Actress and Model

Cheeky Girl - First Encounters