ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Wanted: Handyman, Repairman, Electrician, Grocery Carry In-er

Updated on February 16, 2011

Please Help Me!

Help Wanted:  Middle-aged lady needs handyman, preferably live-in, to be at my beck and call 24 hours a day.  Someone in good physical shape, (no I don't care what you look like, just need you to have a strong back and be able to lift a lot!). 

As you can see by the picture, my house needs a little bit of work.  Nothing major, but since my husbands Multiple Sclerosis started acting up, a few things have fallen into mild disrepair.  So this man must have some basic knowledge of how to replace a few missing shingles, and do some minor patching on the siding.  Also a good coat of paint to spiffy up the place a bit. 

I didn't get around to taking any pictures of the interior, but there are a few minor things needed done there as well.  A little patching of some wallpaper, perhaps some re-nailing of the paneling in the living room...I see no cause to replace it, it's only been in there since the 70's, and we all know they made stuff pretty sturdy back in those days.  The drop ceiling panels are still in pretty good shape, maybe just need a little cleaning and some light patching of the ones the ceiling fans have cracked.

We're thinking of putting indoor plumbing upstairs, so anybody who knows anything about plumbing and fixtures would definitely be considered for the job. 

Payment

Now, I hate to be so blunt and discuss my finances with complete strangers, but there's just no way to get around it...so I will be up front with you.  If I could afford to pay somebody to do this crap for me, I'd already have this work done...so don't come here thinking you're going to get rich off me or anything.  But what I will promise is this...if you seem clean, I'll let you stay in the house while you're doing your work.  And if you do a good job, a home cooked meal will be yours for the asking.  I've given you a tiny hint here of what you'll have to look forward to.  And I"ll just add one word as a further tantalizer if you do a "really" great job....meatballs.  Need I say more????  I thought not.

Lawn

Lawn

There will be a small bit of lawn work that needs to be done.  Not much, as you can see by the picture, but a little trash that's blown in over the winter, and some minor clean up.  Also, you will be required to mow the lawn once a week.  Please bring your own mower.

Sister

It's only fair to let you know this right up front as well. I have a sister named LaurieDawn, and once she knows I have my own repairman, plumber, lawn boy, grocery carry in-er, she will be extremely jealous. I know she's jealous of my good fortune in finding this house and lawn and such, so I try to be kind to her whenever possible.

As you can see by the photo, she lives in a mobile home. So the ideal candidate will need to know some stuff about mobile home repair and upkeep as well. Because I won't want to listen to her whine everyday, I will most likely lend my handyman out to her on occasion. Rest assured though, on the days you work for her, she's as good a home cook as me, so you will still be well fed on those days.

I know her roof has been leaking, and the cord running her electricity in her living room is getting frayed, so those will probably be some of your first jobs for her. Read up on your mobile home repairs would be my best advice to you.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. If you're interested in the job, please apply below. No false inquiries please, I don't have time to just sit around dealing with and thinking up nonsense all day. My time is valuable. I have people to stalk, and things to read...so please don't waste my time. Thank you for your consideration.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      Adam, so glad to see you! I knew I shouldn't have been so picky with this darn ad...haven't had any offers so far...sigh....All those meatballs just waiting to be heated up. Perhaps you should just quit your job and come over anyway...you can always bring friends to help you carry the heavy stuff..just don't ask me to...I'll be busy cooking. :)

    • What Is Q profile image

      Adam 

      7 years ago from Tennessee

      I was immediately disqualified with your first demand. I'm afraid I'm not physically fit. :( Though I do love fixing up houses and things like that. Repairing and remodeling. If I was muscular and not currently employed, I would certainly consider fixing up your place, escpecially since you're willing to dish out meatballs as currency. Money is so over rated. :)

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      LOL Cogerson, Are you applying for the position, or do you mean whoever gets the job should be able to fix it in a few hours?? :)

    • Cogerson profile image

      UltimateMovieRankings 

      7 years ago from Virginia

      Should be able to fix it up in a few hours....lol

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 

      7 years ago

      I thought he was perfectly dressed, very "decent" for the jobs that need to be done. And besides we have to remember, the neighbors too. I know, I know, but we must. They might take offense as they leer, I mean spy, I mean take notice out their windows.

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      Ian, My vote is for comfortable! We do want the poor man able to do his work don't we?

      I'm honored Ian, I know how hard it is to actually get you to laugh out loud! Or is that just to type the initials LOL??? I forget sometimes. :)

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      He's on his way, girls. By the way, Laurie and Angie, he hopes he wasn't overdressed for the tasks in hand. He says he can get down to something more comfortable.

      Angie, I loved; "two stairs do not a patio make". I laughed out loud!!!

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 

      7 years ago

      You have humbled me, I meant to say my tiny itty bitty little space that my er "home" is placed upon. Please forgive me for this oversight.

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      Always my pleasure to entertain you Ian, my friend. I will look forward to hearing from your friend. If you recommend him, I know he will be perfect!

      I'm very sorry for Laurie and her bragging. We've tried to tell her two stairs do not a patio make, but what can one do?? One simply must live with the hand one was dealt.

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Brilliant Angie. Thank you for making me laugh. I have a friend who might be interested. I'll send his photo directly to you so that you can vet him. He comes with all the credentials you might need, and can travel.

      He's working in a garage right now, but can turn his hand to most things.

      By the way, Laurie, don't give yourself airs and graces, kid.

      Patio?

      Ha!!!

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      Thoughtforce, I will send him your way when he gets done with all of our repairs! Of course, you might be waiting quite a while, you might have to post your own ad! :)

    • thougtforce profile image

      Christina Lornemark 

      7 years ago from Sweden

      Haha, I am glad I am not a man or have any of your other requests either! But if you do find this man, I will be in queue when yours and your sisters homes are in order! A man like that is so useful to know!

      I love your humour!

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      Big Sis,

      You are free to boss the handyman in anyway you wish on the days he is yours. Get your list ready...I've got a good feeling about this!

      xoxo

      Lil Sis

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 

      7 years ago

      Ya know, I mean don't get me wrong Lil Sis, I am thankful that you have included me, but I have a few things to add to the list. I need my patio shoveled and snow removed, and some of the skirting replaced, and boxes hauled, and that new piece of moulding put up, and my closet shelf fixed, and the shelf fixed over the

      washer and dryer, and I sure could use a great big ice tea with lots of ice, in a styrofoam cup!

      I am sure I might have a few odds and ends too, and I just went and got groceries, I think I might have some of that canned spam stuff in the cupboard.

      Big Sis.

      xoxo

    • AngRose profile imageAUTHOR

      AngRose 

      7 years ago

      LOL I know it. I can't help myself sometimes.

    • profile image

      Erik S. 

      7 years ago

      Lol

      What the heck.

      You're so silly.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)