ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Your Retirement Could Be Scarier Than An Invasion of Brain Eating Space Alien Zombies

Updated on December 7, 2015

If one of those Zombies does take a chunk out of your brain, all your worries are over.

If you are an average American, you will likely worry about your retirement until you die.

Counting on Social Security

Have you ever been walking down a street and had a man stop you and offer to give you money? He says: I am going into that cat-house over there and I don't want the girls to steal my wallet. Can you hold it for a minute?

If you have been around the block a few times or even if you just have common sense, you know a scam is coming and at the end of it you will lose what little money you have, and possibly your freedom and maybe even your life.

Counting on social security is not quite that bad but it's close. Congress already spent your social security money buying your votes. Your votes were expensive. There is nothing left but IOUs in the social security fund. Unless you are already getting social security it might as well be a ponzi scheme with you left holding the bag. Its really little different than if you gave Bernie Madoff your money to invest. The one big difference is that Bernie is in jail. The government can lie to you repeatedly and the only punishment they get is your happily voting them in again come election time. Congratulations you've bought a government!

Retirement Planning

What is Your Retirement Plan?

See results

You Counted on the Stock Market

A lot of us have a lot riding on the stock market. Have you considered what will happen when all the baby boomers try to sell their stocks and bonds to pay for their retirement at the same time? Have you ever heard of the law of supply and demand? If everybody wants to sell their stocks, who will buy?

The same can be true of investments in gold, silver, commodities or whatever. If in fact, many if not most of the baby boomers try to unload their investments at the same time, your stocks could be worth nothing.

Depending on Employer

There used to be many a workplace that had retirement plans. There aren't anymore. And now, as soon as any company gets into financial difficulty the first thing they do is look to unload their pensions. The second thing they look to do is to unload their health care obligations. If you thought it was impossible for a company to break the promises they made to you when you were a young stud, you may be in for a rude awakening.

Even military retirees with government benefits are finding that some of those benefits may be at risk. Since government almost never pays their own bills, sooner or later, someone has to fork over the cash. When the borrowing and printing of money no longer works, they can still go after pensions and benefits of retirees--and they will.

Living Off Your House

So your big retirement plan was to sell your house and live off the proceeds. Suppose many other baby boomers have the same plan. Who will buy all those houses?

Retiring to the Third World

If you have any money coming in from anything at all it can seem a dream come true to retire to some third world dung heap and live on top of the heap!

Well, that can work if you are in good health. If you get sick, you are in a third world nation with third world nation medical care.

It can work if the country you've moved to has stable economics and politics. If the youth of that country decide that having all those gringos treat them as slave labor is not in their best interest, you could be in trouble my friend.

Also, in some countries they have kidnap gangs. The gangs don't known that neither you nor your family are rich. Now what will they do with you when they find out you aren't worth any money?

Eat, Drink and Be Merry!

You smoked, and drank and ate what you wanted when you wanted when you were young. And in your old age you can not even walk across the room without breathing hard. And something hurts all the time. Something serious. And, because of the decisions you didn't make when you were young, or the bad decisions you did make when you were young, you are still expected to work even though you are old and sick. Everyone is always passing your slow butt as you hobble into work, hobble to the bathroom, hobble back to your desk, hobble to lunch, and then hobble home. Behind your back coworkers half your age wonder why they keep you on. The youngsters wonder that out of ignorance. They actually don't know anything about your work performance. And actually your work is pretty good since you were clever enough to pick up on and take notes on every trick that you ever came across to make work easier and faster. So you actually do a good job--when you are not taking sick days or visiting the doctor...

Have You No Shame?

If you are a shameless person then you can use the occasion of your bad judgement to move in with any friend or relative who will have you. The trick is wear out your welcome in one place and then move to another. Make sure to have lots of friends and relatives. You need to have so many of both that when it is time to start over and move in again with those who threw you out before, they no longer remember what a pain in the butt it was to live with a lazy, good for nothing slacker like you, who complains about food, clothing and lodging that you get for free.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)