The Alice Chronicles: Part II - Diary of a Drug Addicted Mom & Son

continued from Part I...

The Alice Chronicles is based on a mother with a drug addiction and her perspective on life. She shares her views and experiences through daily entries in her diary that tells the story of her lifelong drug consumption. She shares her experiences & the problems that accompany it, through daily entries in a diary.

I wrote this due to my own circumstances and based the title on the book “Go Ask Alice” written by Anonymous & published in the 70's. This is my unofficial sequel to the Alice books main character's mind-altering journey. That is if she had lived to tell about it.

It is a constant work in progress that will expand as the entries get added.

This is Part II.......

What's so sad is that as a result of our lifestyles, our children learn from our actions. I suppose if I had gone to church more every Sunday, instead of being so busy chasing the dragon, my children also would have learned by that example and gone too. It would have been a complete game changer.

It's very unfortunate and so sad. This newest generation has so much more to fight than we (60s babies) ever did in regards to drugs and peer pressure.

The drug epidemic has spread throughout the nation, yet nobody is talking out loud about it. We have what I refer to as a bunch of tar babies roaming this planet, all are addicted to heroin!

My child told me that when they walk into a party they have a bunch of kids sitting around smoking heroin off of aluminum foil.

When my generation used to go in to kegger parties we would see piles of cocaine in the 70's, 80's and 90's. Now the drug of choice is heroin. The kids are being subjected to drugs far worse than we ever even imagined. With XTC running rampant, it is far more popular than acid blotters ever were. Kids are consuming 100’s of pills by the time they’re 18 leaving their brains fried leaving them cognitively retarded. It is what I consider the main cause of a bunch of zombies running around, all with arrested development.

It's an epidemic and these are the silent killers. My family just laid to rest my sons best friend, who he grew up with. The child was barely 20 and passed away last month from a heroin overdose.

Since I originally published a version of this story, my two sons have watched and buried dozens of their friends die from heroin overdoses. If they had only been taught about this evil drug, then we wouldn't be standing at so many children's graves.

The public needs to be informed.

Dear Diary,

My boy came to me today. He finally turned 19 last week. He’s been avoiding me lately like the plague and stupid me, …thought that he was dodging me cause he knew I was high on meth….and was mad at me.

But in actuality, I was wrong…oh, so wrong. I am so sorry, and guilty and perplexed. Diary, I do not know what in the world I am going to do. How will I handle the most disturbing news that this universe could ever entrust to me.

I've been having horrible dreams, not just nightmares, but night terrors. These are dreams that are horrifying because in the dream you feel like you are actually awake and you can't differentiate sleep from awake. These dreams feel and sound and smell REAL!

In this dream that kept recurring, my kids and I were standing at a grave...one of us was descending into the ground in a casket. I could not tell who it was. The next morning I went to my son's bedside and woke him up... I told him about the dream...

I said, "Son, I don't know if it is you or me that is going to die...and if it's me, then fine. But if it's you in my dream...then you need to change what it is that is causing my nightmare.

He immediately started to sob, as he told me through tears that he was hooked on heroin and he needed my help to recover and get clean.

My first born son wants me to find him a doctor. He begged me to find him a doctor that will prescribe him a drug called Suboxone. I never heard of it before, but supposedly it masks the withdrawal symptoms of a heroin crash. WHAT!!!

How in the world is my gorgeous, brilliant son hooked on this bad bad drug!!!!! Where did I go wrong?

I taught those two boys EVERYTHING: How to get with a girl, How to drive, How to smoke pot, and how to drink without getting a hangover, and how to not get caught..., everything!!….

I passed on my knowledge because I wanted them to learn from my mistakes!

Diary, did I forget the “Don’t ever ever touch, smell or do heroin” conversation in all this debauchery? What am I going to do!!

He’s in his room now shaking uncontrollably and moaning in pain. I’ve never seen anything like it. I know nothing about this drug....except that it is pure evil.

May 2nd

Dear Diary,

My son needs to get to a doctor. He is suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms from heroin. This is such a horrible nightmare. He cannot stop throwing up, and cramping up. His body keeps shaking violently. I have never seen anything like this. He is in soooo much pain.

Of course we don't have medical insurance so what do I do? Well, about a year ago a friend of mine introduced me to a guy, a scrip' writer.....This doctor is a little loose on the prescription pad; kind of a scandalous guy who has the letters "M.D." following his name and a little office building in town. He is known to write prescriptions in exchange for money. I'm taking my boy over to the doctor to get him some of those suboxone pills. I swear, those miracle pills are amazing. Won't take but about 20 minutes before all of his withdrawal symptoms disappear.

The doctor wants to charge 60 bucks for those pills and I really don't have the cash. Although he did mention a trade, as he eyed me up and down..... so, it's either let him have his way or I have my other option. I have to sling some dope to a couple people I know who use. And as an added bonus I may get a freebie out of that and get kicked down some shit, so I can get high too.

Jeez, I've been getting high on meth for seven years now without missing a day. What a roller coaster my life has been since then....

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May 7th

So, as soon as my poor, poor son got better yesterday evening, he went running out the door to meet his friends. I know him, and I am 100% positive that he took the remaining pills he had left over, and he probably sold those three suboxones to get cash so he could re-up on his heroin supply.

I'm so lost and don't know what to do to keep him alive.

Talk to you tomorrow, dearest diary!!! Our little secret.