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Domestic Violence and You

Updated on June 3, 2010

How Do You Know

Domestic violence is not a private matter. It is not a squabble or fight. It is not a momentary loss of temper or a direct extension of drug or alcohol abuse. Domestic violence or Domestic abuse is a problem that effects every community nation wide, most likely world wide. It touches all races, cultures, and religions. It touches every social and economic stature.

Domestic violence is a power and control issue used by one intimate partner over another. Most domestic violence victims are women ages 15-44. A conservative estimate suggested 1.5 million women are victims of some form of domestic abuse each year. In the United States a women, is more likely to be raped, injured, assaulted, or killed by an intimate partner than any other sort of assault.

There are several forms of domestic violence, to include but not be limited to;physical assault, sexual assault, isolation, intimidation, financial control, manipulation of children, and psychological abuse.

The abuser wants you to separate yourself from family and friends. The abuser wants you to leave your job. The abuser wants to have total control and will make you believe its your fault when in fact it is not. Fear, guilt, and low self worth are emotional factors the abuser will use on you. Domestic violence will become more frequent, more dangerous, and more violent over time.

A very small percentage, 23%, of reported cases every go to trial. The victim backs out or changes her story, without the victims testimony most prosecutors will not take the cases to court. This is where it being a social issue comes into play. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence speak up, be the witness, be the evidence needed to help stop this horrible crime against humanity.

Most people don't realize its not as easy as they think it is to leave an abusive relationship. There is help out there. There are hot-lines, shelters, job training, legal services, and child care. No one, not one single person should live in fear. Don't let confusion, guilt, or self-blame keep you from seeking the help you deserve. You are not to be blamed for being battered or abused. You are not the cause of this abuse. You deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. You and your children deserve a safe and happy life.

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      theawwwbutmum 7 years ago

      Great post mod2vint - I just hubbed along exactly the same vein - only my personal story. I agree - the time has long past for this to continue to be the shameful secret - only when we are willing to talk openly can we truely make change :)

    • Faybe Bay profile image

      Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

      Okay, Tears in my eyes mod2vint, It has been too long that the world blames the victim for staying. Thank you for writing this. I had a both types, the one who used intimidation thought he was better to me than the first, at least he didn't hit me. I could always hit the other one back, this one I was just terrified of, if I hit him he would be absolved in hitting me, you see. He always tried to make me hit him, but I knew how strong he was, I knew better than to do that. It is difficult to report abuse that leaves no physical bruises.

    • mod2vint profile image
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      mod2vint 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Thanks theawwwbutmum, it was a local paper article that got me thinking and made me want to say something. I'm sorry you had to go through any of this yourself and am glad your still with us to tell your story.

    • mod2vint profile image
      Author

      mod2vint 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Sorry Faybe Bay for the tears, my daughter in recent past was with the mental abuser. He fit the definition of a psychopath. He never physically hit her but the mental anguish was enough, more than enough but this is another hub altogether.

    • profile image

      WildIris 7 years ago

      Pictures speak louder than words. What a disturbing picture you found to illustrate your point. As hard as it is for a woman to be abused, it is just as hard for her children to experience the helplessness of watching their mother suffer abuse. I think statistically boys who watch domestic violence and abuse first hand become abusers as adults, and the cycle continues. Thanks for writing about a difficult topic.

    • mod2vint profile image
      Author

      mod2vint 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Hi Wildiris, In part I agree, it can be a learned behavior but the abuser still makes the choice to abuse.

    • nikki1 profile image

      nikki1 7 years ago

      well written. My heart goes out to the victims :(.

    • mod2vint profile image
      Author

      mod2vint 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Hi Nikki1, thanks for the comment. I think there are a lot more victims than we can ever imagine.

    • Chaotic Chica profile image

      Chaotic Chica 7 years ago

      It is interesting to see how many hubs and other internet articles there are on domestic abuse, some from myself included, and yet the word out on the street is still to look the other way. Thank you, very much, for speaking out for victims though you weren't one. That means a great deal to those who have suffered.

    • mod2vint profile image
      Author

      mod2vint 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Hello Chaotic Chica, Its never right to look away! Most times if the victim knows they have a line of support they can be helped. My daughter was able to overcome a horrible relationship.

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