ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Funny Presidential Quotes

Updated on May 6, 2013
Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln
George W Bush
George W Bush
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

Some presidents become famous for their wit and eloquence. Others are famous for their sense of humor. Still others become infamous due to embarrassing verbal gaffes. The following list of quotes contain examples of each of these categories.

These are in no particular order. Some of these quotes were made on the campaign trail, before their speaker became president.

“Gentlemen, I can run the country or I can control Alice. I cannot do both.” - Theodore Roosevelt, talking about his feisty daughter Alice.

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

“I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.” Warren G Harding (most historians agree with him)

“There is nothing left to do but get drunk” – Franklin Pierce, after learning he was not going to be nominated for re-election.

“No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.” – John Adams

“You lose.” - Calvin Coolidge, when a woman told him she had made a bet that she could get him to say more than two words.

“Be yourself. That proved to be the worst advice I could possibly have. And I’m going to be myself. Do it that way.” - George HW Bush’s incoherent response to an awkward question about how his administration would be different from Ronald Reagan’s.

It depends on what the meaning of the world ‘is’ is.” – Bill Clinton

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” – George W Bush

“I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully!” – George W Bush

Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.” – Abraham Lincoln, referring to his best Civil War general (and future president) U.S. Grant, who was known as a heavy drinker.

Common-looking people are the best in the world - that is why the Lord makes so many of them." - Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve now been in 57 states, one left to go.” - Barack Obama


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Obama was thinking about Heinz ketchup

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Thanks! Yeah there are some funny ones!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      These made me laugh out loud. Great list! I will be checking out the other quotes list.

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Revised and improved this one.

    • GusTheRedneck profile image

      Gustave Kilthau 

      6 years ago from USA

      Howdy nanderson500 - Your quotations are hard to top, all right, but I believe that I heard some good (?) new ones coming out of the DNC convention last evening, 6 sept.2012. :)

      Gus :-)))

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Thanks TToombs and Rfordin!!!!

    • Rfordin profile image


      6 years ago from Florida

      I like "Gentlemen I can control the country or Alice - not both." I can appreciate this completely. Thanks for sharing.

      Voted Funny.


    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 

      6 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Great quotes, Nanerson! And I agree, that last*shaking my head* lol! Voted up and sharing! :)

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Yeah, he definitely had some,um, memorable sayings!

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 

      6 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      From the other side of the pond we always find George W's comments hilarious. I think he had foot in mouth disease ...

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 

      6 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Voted Up, Funny, and Interesting!!! Love this series about the Presidents!!! Well Done!!!

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Yeah it was definitely a dumb thing for him to say. He said it a campaign stop in Oregon in 2008. He meant to say 47 states with one to go ( he was talking about the continental US) but yeah it's definitely funny.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I know everyone typically hates on Bush, I don't really care...but that last quote from Obama is by far the dumbest thing anyone has ever said in the Presidency, to my knowledge, no President has shown such a hickup in regards to his knowledge of the very country he runs.

      Also, the "You Lose" comment is by far the best! lol

      Good hub! Voted up!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)