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Funny Presidential Quotes

Updated on May 6, 2013
Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln
George W Bush
George W Bush
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

Some presidents become famous for their wit and eloquence. Others are famous for their sense of humor. Still others become infamous due to embarrassing verbal gaffes. The following list of quotes contain examples of each of these categories.

These are in no particular order. Some of these quotes were made on the campaign trail, before their speaker became president.

“Gentlemen, I can run the country or I can control Alice. I cannot do both.” - Theodore Roosevelt, talking about his feisty daughter Alice.

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

“I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.” Warren G Harding (most historians agree with him)

“There is nothing left to do but get drunk” – Franklin Pierce, after learning he was not going to be nominated for re-election.

“No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.” – John Adams

“You lose.” - Calvin Coolidge, when a woman told him she had made a bet that she could get him to say more than two words.

“Be yourself. That proved to be the worst advice I could possibly have. And I’m going to be myself. Do it that way.” - George HW Bush’s incoherent response to an awkward question about how his administration would be different from Ronald Reagan’s.

It depends on what the meaning of the world ‘is’ is.” – Bill Clinton

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” – George W Bush

“I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully!” – George W Bush

Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.” – Abraham Lincoln, referring to his best Civil War general (and future president) U.S. Grant, who was known as a heavy drinker.

Common-looking people are the best in the world - that is why the Lord makes so many of them." - Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve now been in 57 states, one left to go.” - Barack Obama

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    • profile image

      ihj 

      2 years ago

      Obama was thinking about Heinz ketchup

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR

      nanderson500 

      5 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Thanks! Yeah there are some funny ones!

    • profile image

      SkeetyD 

      5 years ago

      These made me laugh out loud. Great list! I will be checking out the other quotes list.

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR

      nanderson500 

      5 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Revised and improved this one.

    • GusTheRedneck profile image

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Howdy nanderson500 - Your quotations are hard to top, all right, but I believe that I heard some good (?) new ones coming out of the DNC convention last evening, 6 sept.2012. :)

      Gus :-)))

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR

      nanderson500 

      5 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Thanks TToombs and Rfordin!!!!

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 

      5 years ago from Florida

      I like "Gentlemen I can control the country or Alice - not both." I can appreciate this completely. Thanks for sharing.

      Voted Funny.

      ~Becky

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 

      5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Great quotes, Nanerson! And I agree, that last one...man...*shaking my head* lol! Voted up and sharing! :)

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR

      nanderson500 

      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Yeah, he definitely had some,um, memorable sayings!

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 

      6 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      From the other side of the pond we always find George W's comments hilarious. I think he had foot in mouth disease ...

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 

      6 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Voted Up, Funny, and Interesting!!! Love this series about the Presidents!!! Well Done!!!

    • nanderson500 profile imageAUTHOR

      nanderson500 

      6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Yeah it was definitely a dumb thing for him to say. He said it a campaign stop in Oregon in 2008. He meant to say 47 states with one to go ( he was talking about the continental US) but yeah it's definitely funny.

    • profile image

      AaronHubb89 

      6 years ago

      I know everyone typically hates on Bush, I don't really care...but that last quote from Obama is by far the dumbest thing anyone has ever said in the Presidency, to my knowledge, no President has shown such a hickup in regards to his knowledge of the very country he runs.

      Also, the "You Lose" comment is by far the best! lol

      Good hub! Voted up!

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